A few years ago I was coaching my son in high school football. He was a typical coach's kid. He was smart, technically sound and knew what everyone was supposed to do on any given play or situation. However, as a "Type A" person and coach, I was frustrated with my son's lack of ability to open his mouth and lead others. I remember saying something brilliant to him during a practice one day:
"You are killing me! You know your job and everyone else's, yet you will not open your mouth and lead. You NEED to get out of your shell and be a leader."
Needless to say, he wasn't the first introverted athlete I had coached like that... not to mention my relationship with my son was not being enhanced by my tirades. One definition of an introvert is a person that turns their thoughts inward; a person that recharges with introspection. So many of us who are leaders and coaches assume that everyone we lead is an extrovert like us, however their are some great athletes and employees who are introverts.
My experience with my son made me realize that I was ill-equipped as a leader and coach, in fact I was missing vital coaching tools in my tool box. Below is a list of 7 principles that I have learned from others over the years that has helped me understand, motivate and properly coach someone who is an introvert. Enjoy-
7 Secrets to Leading and Coaching Introverts
1. Let them observe first in new situations
They love doing the drill after everyone else
2. Let them lead by example
In time they may lead vocally, but pressuring them to do so will hinder their performance.
3. Teach them new skills privately if possible
After teaching them in a group, make time to teach them new skills in a one on one setting
4. Give them advance notice if you are going to ask them to do something unexpected or a big change
The more you respect their communication style the more they will began to realize how much you care.
5. Instant answers may take awhile-Cultivate trust
Be prepared to let them think. You will get the answer you want, but it will not be instantaneous.
6. When they start talking, do not INTERRUPT them
As they open up and begin to verbalize, do not interrupt them. Keep building trust, they won't abuse the privilege of speaking like an extrovert.
7. Let them be who they are wired to be...
It is not our job as coaches and leaders to change people, our job is to help them grow and mature. Focus on helping them grow, not on making them an extrovert.
You may be asking, why write an article on
introversion? Because, I believe I may have damaged many relationships over the years, and perhaps stifled many people's potential due to my ignorance. My hope is that if you are an extrovert that you will join me in this journey of adding wisdom to your toolbox of increasing our understanding of coaching all personalities. If you are an introvert, I hope you will be encouraged by this article and cut me and the extroverts some slack as we try to overcome our wiring.
Questions to ponder:
Do I coach everyone to be an Extrovert?
What can I do better today so that I can have a better feel for the people I am coaching or leading?
