Building the critical skill of resiliency (how we recover from the setbacks and deal with the tough times) will positively affect our well-being and success. Resiliency will help us to move more easily through our life challenges and thrive again. Building our resiliency capacity is something we all can learn to do.
Think of your Resiliency Capacity as a bank account - your RBA. What is your Resiliency Bank Account (RBA) balance? Is it depleted? Overdrawn? We must make sure our RBA is never empty. In a proactive way we must make a conscious effort to deposit in, restore, and replenish our RBA on an ongoing basis so it is full when we need to make a withdrawal.
7 Ways to Fill your Resiliency Bank Account (RBA)
1. Build a Strong Foundation
When you have built a strong foundation for yourself you will automatically be more resilient. Take some time to think about your core values - the fundamental principles that guide you. Create your big-picture vision to add a solid framework of where you are moving to. Recognize and acknowledge your unique strengths to add wealth to your RBA that you can draw on whenever you feel the need. Hold those foundational pieces close to provide solid comfort to inspire the bounce-back capacity you need. Once you build that strong foundation you will always have it. Even if the walls tumble down around you, you will still be standing on solid ground and can rebuild.
2. Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First
Make self-value an integral and non-negotiable part of your life. Positive thoughts, sleep, exercise, fresh air and nutrition - you know the drill. You have much more capacity to rebound (and assist others) when you make a practice of consciously and consistently respecting and valuing your physical, mental, and emotional needs.
3. Create Supports
Setting up supports for your life and learning how to both ask and accept support will build your RBA. No (wo)man is an island. Ask yourself: "Who in my life strengthens me? Who gives me the kind of support I want? How can I reach out to those people?
4. Create Daily Small Comforts and Magic Moments
Identify the 'little things' that will add stability and give you the energy and resiliency during challenging periods to look forward again. Having some daily small comforts will give you a sense of structure and control, and add to your RBA.
When my client Ron was struggling with considerable stress over finding cash to keep his new venture afloat, he gained strength by his morning ritual of sitting down with a heaping bowl of cornflakes soaked in cold milk. That simple 15-minute morning routine gave him a solid start of normalcy and calm to begin each day of business pressures.
To get even more proactive about adding to your RBA, consider creating a daily magic moment -
once per day consciously do something that feeds you.
5. Develop a Gratitude Attitude
Beef up your RBA daily by adopting a Gratitude Attitude for everything in your life. Notice the small things and bless them daily. Gratitude expands - the more gratitude you have, the more you have to be grateful for. Gratitude instantly changes your thinking from a place of scarcity to a place of plenty. Look around you to enjoy the wonder of your environment, the smile of your grandchild, the laughter of your friends, and the crackle of your fireplace.
If you have lost a loved one, remember their life and the good times you shared; celebrate rather than shoving the memories away. If you have had a business setback, remember and celebrate your past successes and acknowledge with gratitude the elements that contributed to those successes.
6. Create Daily Reflection Time
Actively build some quiet moments into your schedule to give yourself the space you need to feel and process your changing emotions. What is really happening? As the drama swirls around you it is easy to lose perspective. Is everything messed up? Or, when you take a breath, step back, and really look at your life, is it mostly okay? What do you know to be true that you can hang on to?
Draw on your Resiliency Bank Account (RBA) to reconnect you to your greater purpose and give you the perspective you need to continue.
7. Hold to Purpose and Look Ahead
Part of resilience is resourcefulness, and even when hit with a tough times - if you are open to stepping into an expanded identity and perhaps creating a different plan, you can use the energy of the knockdown to spring you upward with the possibility of going even farther and higher than you went before.
Simply staying open to the flow of possibility allows new perspectives and experiences to manifest.