We usually think of someone who is "detached" as being rather anti-social, perhaps even aloof. Surely, considering our society's obsession with staying connected, "detaching" from something cannot possibly be a good thing? Or can it?
There are times when detaching from an outcome is actually the best course of action for maximum results. Specifically, for those events, conversations and situations over which you have no ultimate control of the outcome, and especially in those situations to which you have a big investment of emotion attached, detaching from that outcome will serve you well.
My approach for success is a simple 4 words:
HIGH INTENTION, LOW ATTACHMENT.
High Intention: a purposeful mental approach that focuses you on the pieces that you can control
Low Attachment: Letting go of the 'result' or outcome that is not 100% in your control
High intention, low attachment logically applies in any situation where another party is a factor in determining how the results play out. Successful Olympic athletes do not spend their mental energy pre-competition worrying about whether they will win or not. They learn not to obsess about other competitors, and they focus on the only thing they have control over - their own performance. They will have spent time visualizing the perfect race run, the perfect shot hit, the perfect run skied in advance and they may even have visualized themselves on the podium with the gold medal - but they will have separated their actual performance from that end result. Setting goals and having a clear vision is a good thing. Goals are set before the work is done and can inspire and drive us. Results come after the work is done. It is when we get attached to a result we have no control over that we add a layer of interference that gets in the way of our actually doing the work to achieve that goal.
A High Intention, Low Attachment approach can have dramatic results in the context of your work and personal life.
For example, my client Lisa was preparing for an important meeting with a potential corporate client. If successful, the partnership would yield significant financial benefits and potential for future referrals. She was agitated for days before the presentation thinking about how much was riding on the result. The mental interference was causing her to lose sleep, get unfocused and mentally take her off course. In our coaching session we focused on letting go of the result and placing focus on the piece in her control - her preparation and presentation of the material. We focused on developing high intention for the meeting (engaging the client in a conversation to outline the benefits of her company) and doing the pre-meeting preparation with focused purpose. At the same time, she let go of the tight attachment she had to an outcome over which she had no control. Letting go of the result allowed her preparation to be more productive, and to show up in the meeting more relaxed, and confident.
You can apply this High Intention/Low Attachment concept to any part of your life;
like going out on a date with someone you really are interested in, going for a job interview for a job that would be absolutely perfect, or perhaps when having a critical conversation with a colleague or friend. Go into that important situation with high "intention", that is, a clear and focused purpose over which you have control and a low "attachment" to the outcome.
3 BENEFITS OF HIGH INTENTION/LOW ATTACHMENT
1/ You reduce mental interference by focusing your mind and energy solely on your purpose (your intention). Be sure your purpose is something that is purely connected to you rather than an outcome you want. e.g/ When holding a critical staff meeting - my intention could be "setting a positive atmosphere for honest communication" instead of "getting everyone to open up and say what is on their mind". You see how the first is a focus that you can control and the second is a result that you cannot.
2/ By not attaching to a pre-determined result, you can open possibilities for outcomes you may not even have considered. Who knows? There could be an even more wonderful possibility that presents itself that is even more closely connected with your intention.
3/ Results often depend on factors beyond our control. Attachment to results distracts us from the thing in control: the work at hand. High intention, low attachment allows us to stay in the present moment which is where the magic lies. When we focus our energies on what might happen in the future we reduce the potential effectiveness of where we are now and we create interference that does not allow us to be in the moment. "The point of power is in the present moment." - Louise Hay
Experiment with this concept. I guarantee you will be amazed at the results that a "high intention/low attachment" focus will bring!