Being a loving person doesn't mean you are a push over. In fact, many times the loving thing to do is to set boundaries.
As with everything we talk about here on TDL, the key is balance. Too many boundaries and you close off; no boundaries and you lose yourself.
As TDL continues to grow, my time is getting slimmer and slimmer. And more people are asking for it. I am such a people pleaser, that I want to help everyone and as many people happy as possible.
I have been like this my whole life. I have an innate desire to help other people, especially those who are down and out. When I was in grade school I would confront the bully's. I don't like seeing people get picked on. And I love seeing people step up into their power and become happy and fulfilled.
I learned at a young age that I have a desire to help make other people happy. However, as I grew into adulthood and then embraced being an entrepreneur, I had to learn a valuable lesson: the boundaries of self-love.
I had had partnerships where I sunk a lot of money into other people's dreams. I had had a lot of personal relationships where I would invest in other people. Some people turned out to be positive investments and some turned out to be not-so-positive investments. No matter what, there was always a lesson that I was grateful for.
One of the hardest and most challenging lessons I had to learn was the lesson of giving TOO MUCH away to other people. Earlier in my career and my adventure in L.A. as a talent manager, my life was all about helping out artists. I secretly wanted to be the artist, but was too chicken to do it. So I helped other artists achieve their dreams. I eventually went into business with an artist who had a dream and put a lot of money into that endeavor. I was so focused on this other person's dreams and ideas that I was ignoring my own.
As a result resentment built up within me and I then projected it onto my partner. I was pissed. I thought at the time I was pissed because my partner wasn't seeing me, but the truth is, I wasn't seeing me for who I really was or what I really wanted. So, it was through too much giving that my life became out of balance.
This was a painful and crippling lesson for me to learn, both emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. I was bankrupt across the board. It was ironic because I was promoting a message of self-love, but didn't have any myself.
Of course it is in giving that we receive, but that starts with ourselves. If we are not full, we will have nothing to give away. I learned that boundaries are very important. I learned that I had to be fulfilled before I could be fulfilling in any relationship or partnership.
I learned this lesson through pain, but it has since become a path of joy. My ego hated the transformation from that dark place to my life now, but each time my ego got mad, my Spirit celebrated.
Now, I am living my dream. It started through self-love, then grew from giving that love away and is sustained by a balance of giving to myself and to others. I have never experienced more consistent joy in my life as a result of those painful years and I would do them all over again if I had too, because on the other side, life is beautiful and sweet.
Are you living your life for others and abandoning yourself in the process? Let me know: WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com
Love, self-love and giving love,
Take what resonates with you from the blog and leave the rest.
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