The Men's Group: 
The "Drunk Monkey"
Matthew Ferry specializes in helping people overcome the rigid fears and negative inner talk that burden the mind and obstruct the drive to dream and achieve. He is especially known for his characterization of the "12 unconscious reflexes of the Drunk Monkey," automatic tendencies of the mind which interfere with one's ability to take conscious control of the irrational, reptilian part of the brain.   In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, August 6, 10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon, we will explore Ferry's metaphor, the "drunk monkey."  If you plan to attend on Saturday, please review Ferry's audio/interview "Transforming Fear Into Action" (#32 of the Knowledge of Men Archives Podcast) and his YouTube presentations Part I and Part II.   

The Dating and Relationship Group:
Against Being Nice: The Dynamics of Induction 
Though it is an unfortunate truth, all relationships are manipulative and highly coercive.  In romantic love, we do not love our partner; instead, we love the partner we want to see and experience.  In this way, the subtext of all romantic relationships is the inevitable conflict between "being who your partner wants you to be" vs. "being who you really are."  Many partners resolve this conflict by gradually losing their identity in the relationship and accommodating to their partner's wishes.  In contrast, others apprehend the conflict and go to war with their partners.  Unfortunately, both strategies rarely work.  In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, August 6, 12:00 to 1:15 PM, I will flesh out a rationale for "against being nice" which is rooted in the concept of psychological induction.  Learning how to avoid inducing others, and being induced by others, is the main competency necessary for finding and maintaining positive authentic relationships.  

To register for the August 6th meetings of the Men's Group and the Dating and Relationship Group:   If you would like to attend the Men's Group (10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon) and/or the Dating and Relationship Group (12:00 to 1:15 PM) on Saturday, August 6, 2016, please RSVP ASAP to Dr. Tobin at 949-338-4388 or There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis.  The fee is $25.00 and the location is The Water Garden Business Center, 23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130, Laguna Hills, CA, 92653.  Please note that these groups are educational in purpose, not therapeutic.  
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 |