Marriage Minutes 
Bob and Cheryl Moeller
Wednesday, January 22, 2014



Top Ten Reasons Why He's Not the One 

by Cheryl Moeller

(This could be turned around also to why "She's Not the One".)


"Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will."   --Jonathan Edwards 


I was a jerk so I have the credentials to write this article.


I can write this article because I dated a few jerks. I think that makes me a jerk, too. Many times I got down on my knees and prayed, "Oh Jesus, please save Billy and I'll come back to you. I promise I will be a super really great Christian for you and do whatever you ask of me."

From my years of being a jerk, I learned God doesn't make plea bargains. Billy was not influenced by me, but instead I was changed for the worse by him. I plummeted further down away from God's best for me until we broke up. I finally realized that neither one of us were happy. My challenge then was, "Do I go deeper into the world or get right with God? I chose God."

Top Ten Reasons Why He's Not the One

1. Your desire for going deeper with God is going to have to wait. He's not even a Believer; he sure doesn't want more of God when his life is all about him (and maybe you). And, you know going deeper with God requires not more of God, but God getting more of you. 

2. You have made this guy an idol above God because you are willing to disobey God's Word for this person, even if you call it missionary dating. Just like the laws of physics, nature, and matter, most likely your future with this person will lead to further disobedience.

3. His best bet to become a Believer is not you. A relationship with you that you hope will win him to Christ is actually what might be keeping him from a relationship with Christ. He can't see the tree for the forest. It's confusing because everything is also attached to you. It's hard for him to focus on faith in Christ alone, when you are the distracting torchbearer. 

4. Do you witness the Gospel of Christ to him, kissing him, between each Beatitude? You are not an example for him to follow because you are dating a non-Christian (him) and he knows you are not supposed to be doing that according to your Holy Scriptures. So, how can he take the rest of your faith seriously? 

5. You are believing lies. Dating or courting is not about having fun or having a date to take you to the next social event. It's about ultimately finding the guy God has for you. God's Word says not to be in romantic relationship with unbelievers. Do you think Christ would send an unbeliever for you to marry? Absolutely not. So, this is not of or from Christ. It's a lie.

6. Do you want him to become a Believer because you truly care about his lostness, his soul? If it was his soul or you dating him, which would you choose? Obviously you chose him.

7. The question does come to bear on this situation: Are you yourself truly born again? Because what does a born again Christian have in common with a non-believer? Believers are known by their fruit and your fruit is kind of smelly at the moment. Are you walking close with the Lord? Are you hungering and thirsting after Christ and His righteousness? It's time to break up with him, take a step back, and do some soul searching of yourself? Have you ever gone past knowing and even believing the Gospel, to fully placing your trust in Christ? Give Christ an empty check with your name signed on the bottom line and letting Christ fill in all the blanks, the names, and the amount. It's time for business with Christ not your boyfriend. First confess your sin. Get to know God again by spending more time in the Word, prayer, with a mentor, attend a Bible believing church, and using your gifts for His service. Have you backslidden? Do you need to renew your relationship with Christ or maybe it's time to commit your life to Christ? Redial; reset your life. 

8. Do you like him for what he could be instead of for who he is? Do you like to be in charge of another person? Instead you need to be interested in someone you can already look up to and respect, not someone you see potential in of what they could be IF they gave God their life. You want him to change. Only the Holy Spirit can convict and change a guy, not you. You are fired! 

9. By openly defying God's Word, you have taken yourself out from underneath the umbrella of God's protection. You are not

doing God's B or C or D plan, instead of Plan A, you are not even 
doing a God plan at all. As a Princess of the King, you deserve better, in fact you deserve God's best.

10. Pray some Christian men will come into his life that can witness to him. Pray that the Holy Spirit will bring conviction upon him for his need for a Savior. Not every need is your calling. If you really care about him, you will let go completely (let God work on you) and let God alone work on him.


"My son (or daughter), if sinners entice you do not consent...My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, for their feet run to evil...They ambush their own lives." Proverbs 1:10,15,18 


by Cheryl Moeller


Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps. 
The Road to "I Do" Single's Conference on Relationships 


Saturday, January 25, 2014 at 8:30AM - 4:00PM


South Suburban Evangelical Free Church 
18059 Lawndale Avenue
Homewood, Illinois 60430-2613


Real Questions, Real Answers with Dr. Bob Moeller on relationship.  This 4-session conference is for all singles, whether you are unattached, courting, dating, pre-engaged couples, or engaged, covering such topics as:

  • How do I bond to someone for a lifetime?
  • What vital elements do we need in our relationship to experience lifelong emotional and spiritual intimacy in marriage?
  • How will my present heart condition impact our future success as a married couple?
  • God's Goal for You:  Be all God wants you to Be for Christ.Bring your own brown bag lunch or go out quickly for fast food.  Free coffee.  Free notes.
  • No admission charged.  A love offering will be taken for For Keeps Ministries. 
  • Hosts: Pastor Delbert and Wonda Denny and Ms. Karen Reed.Click here to register 





Cheryl's Writing and Publishing Conference

Join us Monday-Thursday, February 3-6, 2014, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM

Conference Venue:  
Ritzy's Cafe and Backerei, 2765 Algonquin Rd. Rolling Meadows, IL 60008

Please email for R.S.V.P. asap.  

A global look at writing, publishing, blogging, speaking, and storytelling. 
Cheryl will give you a plan to get started, help you come up with a topic, answer your questions, and a grid tailor-made for you to realize your dreams.
Cheryl has co-authored or authored ten books including:   

Hi Husbands and Fiances, 

Valentine's Day is less than a month way, husbands and fiances are (should be) thinking about where to make dinner reservations, buy chocolates that look more expensive than they are, or even wishing roses did not go up in price on Valentine's Day.

Traditions for Valentine's Day are nice, but they aren't the only package that you need to give.

Put a positive spin on the traditional Valentine's Day date by taking your wife or fiance to one of our conferences. We also have a DVD of one of the conferences, that would make a cozy home event for Valentine's weekend, candles and all.

Your bride will be especially touched that you are willing to further learn about loving her more. She'll be impressed with your humble spirit and teachable heart. This idea only requires a small effort on your part. We have done the work to make you look good. 

Husbands, we have a discount link at a hotel close to O'hare if you are attending from out of town. Even if you are local in Chicago area, you could spice up the whole experience. It will be something she will remember for years to come. 

Please register for one of the conferences because we would love to meet you and your spouse. We will be adding some spice of our own through humor and prizes at these Valetine's Day themed conferences. 

We have several choices of conferences and locations to choose from. Click here

Looking forward to seeing both of you!

Future Events 
The Road to "I Do" Single's Conference on Relationships
- Single's Conference in Homewod, IL at South Suburban Evangelical Free Church on Saturday, January 25, 8:30 am - 4:00 pm  Click to register here


How to Be Really Married Marriage Conference
- Marriage Conference in Homewood, IL at South Suburban Evangelical Free Church on Saturday, February 8, 8:30 am - 4:00 pm  Click to register here 


February MSG Moeller's Single Adult Gathering
- Topic:  "How to Destroy Your Sex Life"
Venue:  Fuddruckers on Golf Road, Schaumburg, IL
Time:  Sunday evening, February 9, 5:00 pm - 9:00 pm  Click to register here


How to Be Really Married Marriage Conference
- Marriage Conference in Harwood Heights, IL at Bethany Baptist Church on Saturday, February 15, 8:30 am - 4:00 pm  Click to register here


How to Be Really Married Marriage Conference

- Marriage Conference in Downer's Grove, IL at Christian Worship Center on Sunday, February 16, 3:00 pm - 8:00 pm  Click to register here  




Valetines' Banquet
- Love Banquet in Joliet, IL at Prayer Tower Church, Saturday evening, February 22
with Bob Moeller, speaker and Shugafoot, comedy.







For Better For Worse For Keeps Ministries exists to heal hearts in marriages and relationships, especially the under-served. 

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For Keeps Ministries exists to heal hearts and marriages - 
especially in under-served communities.