"If you have laryngitis for no good reason then God is trying to tell you something. Shut up and listen."
This is what my older sister Cher told me years ago.
When I lost my voice after my daughter's last soccer game of the season this past fall, I remembered my sister's insight about laryngitis. Was it time to listen? It's always a good time to listen but I figured since I lost my voice for a good reason; screaming my full head off at the excitement of the nail biter ending to a close game, God was not trying to shut me up. My voice came back a couple of days later.
Three weeks ago I was spending many hours a day giving direction to children by helping with two separate stage productions as well as an acting class with multiple long rehearsals. My voice was on the go! I knew in advance that all of these events had some overlap time. When I had prayed about my involvement I received a peace about it; I would be busy for a short season and He would provide me with what I needed. In the middle of it all, God allowed some unexpected events to take place and additional responsibilities to land in my lap.
At first I questioned God, "Why would You give me the go-ahead if you knew these things would happen? I have worked so hard at making sure I am not doing too much and work only where you are calling me to!"
I decided that I would figure it all out as I moved along. Moving from appointments to rehearsals and back to appointments I posed questions that I hoped would help me find the lesson. Questions like,
"Was it really God's voice that gave me the go ahead?" He assured me it was.
"Who's strength was I relying on when I got the go ahead?" He assured me that I went into this season relying on Him and not myself.
"Had God allowed this all to happen to give me practice in leaning in on Him when things get tough?" I was leaning without a struggle to do so.
"Am I not asking for help, support and prayer? I am a part of a body of supporters." No to that as well. I have reached out and there are prayers covering me everyday as I move through this season.
As I prayed I asked question after question wondering when I would know the answer to why God allowed so much to be placed on my plate.
Then it happened. At first it was just a sore throat. By the next day my voice vanished into thin air. Laryngitis silenced me again. Like before I thought I knew why I had lost my voice and didn't think I was being called out. God allowed this busy season, of course I'm going to lose my voice with all the talking that this season requires!
Explaining my laryngitis away did not silence my sister's advice running through my head.
"If you..."
"It will come back," I cut her off with my thoughts. It did, but when my voice returned it was not the same. It was very hoarse which was almost worse than it being gone! I could talk but I sounded horrible and every time I did it put stress on my vocal chords.
"If you have laryngitis..."
"It takes time." I interrupted. One production ended and my voice was still hoarse.
"If you have laryngitis for no good reason..."
"Yes yes I know! It will come back by next week." I overlapped. The next week it was still hoarse.
"If you have laryngitis for no good reason then God is trying..."
"Okay okay. Are you talking to me Lord?" And with only a slight moment of silence I came in with, "When this acting class is over it will return. I mean I'm not seeing anything that I am doing wrong. He led me into this season and I have followed." The acting class ended and my voice was still hoarse.
"If you have laryngitis for no good reason then God is trying to tell you something..."
"If God is trying to tell me something then why can't I hear it? Every question I ask seems to have a God-honoring answer. What other question do I need to ask?" I thought, as I walked out the door to volunteer in my son's class, meet a friend for lunch and then prepare for a rehearsal that night. "My voice will return tomorrow!" I woke up no better than the day before.
"If you have laryngitis for no good reason then God is trying to tell you something, shut up and..."
"I'm down to one production," I thought, "I have a retreat this weekend and spring break is coming which will give me time to do nothing. I'll get better..."
Your nose is in your script.