Question of the Week:
 
You may find it strange that I am writing to you, rabbi. You know I am not very involved in Jewish life. I am very spiritual, just not religious. But I am turning to you because you know my boyfriend very well. We've been so long together and he still won't commit. He says we are fine as we are and don't need to be married. Maybe you can give him a little nudge and explain that a relationship needs commitment to be real?
 
Answer:
 
I would be glad to try and bring him around. You are a great couple and he would be a fool to lose you. But I must say, you can't blame him for not committing. You are doing the exact same thing as he is.
 
When he says, "I love you, but I don't want to marry you," it means he wants the benefits without the obligations. He likes the feeling of being in a relationship, but doesn't want the commitment that marriage demands.
 
It sounds great, which is why more and more people are choosing love without marriage. But what it really means is he is stuck in himself. He is looking at what he can gain from the relationship, but isn't willing to make himself vulnerable and put himself out for it. That's not love, that's convenience. I would tell him, If you really mean it when you say I love you, then commit. Do it for her.
 
That's my speech to your boyfriend. But I could give the same speech to you.
 
When you say you are spiritual but not religious, you sound exactly like him. You are open to spirituality, but not open to the discipline of religion. It's like saying to G-d, "I love You, but I am not ready to commit to You. I will do what feels good to me, but it has to be on my terms. My meditations, my fixing the world, my way. Just don't ask me to do things Your way."
 
It is sad that so many people miss out on the experience of committing to something higher than self. It is not limiting yourself to say yes to marriage, it is expanding yourself, because your life is not just about you anymore. You are making yourself vulnerable to someone else, and that is at once humbling and exhilarating.
 
And you aren't limiting yourself when you commit to observing divine commandments. You are opening yourself to the infinite, and going beyond your limits. It's not about feeling good about yourself, it's about doing good for others, no matter what you feel.
 
So here's the deal. I will talk to your boyfriend, and explain to him the beauty of a committed relationship. And you back me up as a living example of just that, by doing a mitzvah and committing to G-d. Maybe he will do it for you, if you will do it for Him.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss

To subscribe CLICK HERE or email rabbimoss@nefesh.com.au 



SHABBOS SERVICES TIMES AND COMMUNITY INFO 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 9 June, 2017 | 15 Sivan 5777
Candle Lighting................................... 4:35pm  
Mincha............................................... 4:45pm
Making Sense of the Siddur
(a class with Rabbi Moss)..................... 5:30-6:00pm
Friday Evening Service......................... 6:00pm
Followed by Friday Night Dinner with Guest speaker, Shimona Tzukernik
 
Shabbos, 10 June, 2017 | 16 Sivan 5777
In depth Parsha Class............... 9:00am
Children's program .................. 10:45am
Shabbos Morning Service ......... 10:00am- 12:20pm 
Kiddush sponsored by Michoel and Dassi Brofman in honour of the birth of their daughter Miriam - Mazal Tov!
 
Mincha with Pirkei Ovos Ch 2
followed by Seudah Shlishis ..............   4:30pm
Gematria and story by Rev Amzalak....... 4:55pm
Shiur with Rabbi Moss........................ 5:15pm
Shabbos ends and Maariv.................... 5:34pm
Followed by Havdalah
 
WEEKDAY SHACHARIS SERVICES
Sunday & Monday (Pub. Hol)............... 8:00am
Tues - Fri......................................... 7:00am
Latest Shema this week....................... 9:22am
 
MAZAL TOV TO
Sarah Green on her recent Bat Mitzvah, to parents Mark and Ariella Green and to grandparents Shula and Nisan Krimhand and Pauline Green.  
Pia and Jonathan Ink on the birth of baby girl.
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
Batsheva Ezekiel.............. 16 Sivan/ Saturday 10 June
Janine Diamond............... 20 Sivan/ Wednesday 14 June
Michelle Streimer............. 21 Sivan/ Thursday 15 June
 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO
Moshe & Lucy Greengarten... 17 Sivan/ Sunday 11 June
Nick & Carmelle Hedges....... 19 Sivan/ Tuesday 13 June
 
LONG LIFE TO
Alex Bartos for his late father Chaim Ben Shmuel HaCohen 16 Sivan/ Saturday 10 June
Eric Melman for his late mother Nellie Melman
Necha bat Benzion  19 Sivan/ Tuesday 13 June
Larnce Gold for his late grandfather David Goldbaum
David ben Baruch 22 Sivan/ Friday 16 June

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR
 
M Barel Project Management Services
0414 307 703
 
To advertise your business email office@nefesh.com.au