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February 2015
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Focus on Couples

In this newsletter:

  • How to Keep Romance Alive in Marriage 
  • Secrets of a Long Marriage
  • What do you need to know before you marry again?
  • How to Get the Most from Marriage Counseling
  • What To Do When Your Spouse Won't Admit They Did Wrong
  • Build Intimacy in Your Marriage through Forgiveness
  • What Should I Do When My (Adult) Children Are Getting Married?

How to Keep Romance Alive in Marriage 

From Chris Giles: Romance can be defined in a number of ways. Emotionally, romance is the feeling of excitement experienced in a loving relationship. Behaviorally, romance is a special outward expression of love experienced in an intimate relationship. The first, you develop within yourself and the second you share with another person. One thing that I know about romance is that the term has become very ambiguous in its use in our society. So the first thing that I would suggest in order to keep romance alive in your marriage is limiting the use of the word. Instead of using "romance" in your discussion with your spouse try being specific and descriptive with your wants and desires. (more...)

Secrets of a Long Marriage

From Salley SutmillerSince Adam and Eve, people have been marrying and learning to live with another person in the most wonderful and the most awful circumstances.  The first couple was married at least 130 years and probably closer to eight or nine hundred.   How did they do that?  (I know, it probably helped that they weren't given choices!)
 (continue reading...)

What do you need to know before you marry again?


From Dale Doty: A frequently observed pattern is for those who remarry to repeat the mistakes from their previous failed marriage. Second marriages are even more likely to fail than first marriages. This occurs far too often, yet there are things that can be done to prevent it.  (more...)

How to Get the Most from Marriage Counseling

People are often curious about how to get the most out of their sessions with a marriage therapist.  Who wouldn't want to get their marriage back on the right track as quickly as possible?  In addition, most couples do not have an abundance of extra money so they want to make sure their hard-earned cash will be used wisely.  If you and your partner are interested in couples/marriage counseling, here are some guidelines to get the most out of your experience:

(continue reading...


What To Do When Your Spouse Won't Admit They Did Wrong

From Krista Caveny: A common first question to a breach in relational trust is: "What did your spouse do?".  The answer will likely depend on the severity of the action. For instance, when your spouse forgot to pick up the dry cleaning when you clearly asked them to, you may receive a denial in response, such as "you never asked me to get your dry cleaning."  You would probably be able to forgive this more easily than forgiving your spouse when they won't acknowledge a greater breach, such as infidelity. The adage "pick your battles" correctly applies here. The life of your marriage probably won't depend on dry cleaning, but infidelity is a much more complex and damaging offense. However, the core issue is the same: A spouse's unwillingness to take responsibility for their actions and make amends is a major roadblock in trusting relationships. ( continue reading...)

Build Intimacy in Your Marriage through Forgiveness

From Jennifer Giles: Intimacy is, by definition, a close, familiar and affectionate personal relationship.  Intimacy in marriage is established and deepened as you increase your openness and vulnerability with your spouse.(continue reading...)

What Should I Do When My (Adult) Children Are Getting Married?

From Dale Doty: The quality of relationship you have with your adult children will often determine how much counsel your children will accept from you.  It is important not to rush to judgments or counsel BEFORE you have earned the right to speak.  Rushed judgments or counsel before it is welcome can permanently damage relationships with our adult children and their future spouse. (more...)
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Bowden McElroy, M.Ed. on behalf of
Christian Family Institute

Our Staff includes:
Dale R. Doty, Ph.D.
William B. Berman, Ph.D.
G. Bowden McElroy, M.Ed.
Eric L. Clements, M.S. 
Timothy D. Doty, Psy.D.
Krista Caveny, M.A.
Jennifer Giles, M.S.
Chris Giles, M.S.
Joseph James, Psy.D.