Non-profit grief & healing organization dedicated to helping parents and families living with the loss of a child
COPE Newsletter May 2018
The Next Level of Healing is Helping







In this Newsletter
Words from Lilly
Healing Tip
Calendar of Events
COPE Golf Outing
Parent Column
Sibling Column
Camp Erin NYC Bowling
May Passings
May Birthdays
General Donations


QUICK LINKS
Words from Lilly
COPE President and Founder
 
D ear COPE Families,

This will be the first Mother's Day without my mother. Her loss brings up my other losses. Loss triggers loss.

My relationship with my mother has brought to the surface my relationship with my daughter. Both began with birth and one is the role reversal of the other. 

Many of my grief responses and questions surrounding the loss of my mom feel familiar. Grief is irrational. Feelings of vulnerability allow no room for added pressure. Expectations of others can easily overwhelm and deplete us. Taking back control only comes from admitting our limitations and asking for help.

Years ago it was easier to isolate and take to my bed. Years of grief experience warn me that throwing the covers over my head will only increase my anxiety. Realizing my breaking point and allowing others to help me has been empowering. Letting go of added burdens allows me more space to grieve. 

My mother lived a long life. My daughter lived a short one. They are each a part of my heart. 

Even though they have both passed from this earth, my mother is still my mother. I am still her child. My daughter, Michelle, is always my child and I am always her mother. 

Thinking of all of you on Mother's Day.

Lilly
COPE President and Founder
 
To share your thoughts about this posting, please click here  to visit our website and enter your comment under the LEAVE A REPLY section.
HEALING TIP
Coping with Grief on Mother's Day
By Clinical Director, Michelle Graff    

Allow yourself to feel your grief
Sometimes the anticipation of an actual event is worse than the event itself. By simply recognizing that the upcoming holiday may be difficult you are already engaging in self care.

Do things the way you want to do them
Some people prefer to stick to tradition while others change what they have done for years. It’s up to you. It’s OK to stay in. Sometimes spending the day in your pajamas is ok. Remember, the day is about you and how you feel.
CALENDAR OF EVENTS FOR MAY
Monday
Mid-IslandY JCC, 7:00pm

Mid-IslandY JCC, 7:00pm

East Meadow Library 7:00pm

Muttontown Club in East Norwich

Tuesday
Merrick Library 1:00pm

Chai Center in Dix Hills, 7:00pm

COPE at Cedarmere 7:00pm

Wednesday
in Huntington at 7:00pm

COPE at Cedarmere 1:00pm
Thursday
3, 10, 17, 24, 31 T een Grief Support Group at Rockville Centre Recreation Center 7:00pm

For established parents at Jericho Public Library, 7:00pm

For established parents at Syosset Public
Library, 7:00pm


Friday
DASHA Flagship, The Galleria in NYC
6:15pm

United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma
7pm

COPE GOLF OUTING
Three weeks 'til our annual COPE Golf Outing. 

Join us for dinner, golf, raffles and auction in support of hundreds
of families living with grief.

If you cannot attend, please consider making a  donation . 

All proceeds support parents and children with year round free programming.

Date : Monday, May 21
Location : Muttontown Club in East Norwich,
5933 Northern Boulevard, East Norwich, NY

To Celebrate Our Honorees
Jill Martin
Cope Honoree
Today Show Contributor
Knicks Broadcaster
 
Sandra R. Wolkoff, PhD., LCSW-R
COPE Parent & Professional Service Award

Shaun Sharp
COPE Sibling Recognition Award

CLICK HERE to view COPE Golf Outing Invitation
PARENT COLUMN
In Memory of Tom
by Janet Shavel

It feels like it was just yesterday. I went to the cemetery this past Saturday, the day before Easter, to plant a beautiful cross in front of his grave site. At that time, I rethought the day I was here burying him on my birthday and it seemed like yesterday. However, it will be 8 years this August. This time I spent with him was somewhat different, as I spoke to him as though he was in front of me. 


In Memory of Adam
by Paula Bruckner

My son Adam would be turning 36 years of age this month (4/26) had he not passed from an overdose at the tender age of 24 in ‘06.
Back then, I never could have imagined living without my son all these passing years, and yet here I am.

The passage of time allows me to band aid my grief but like with all band aids they lift and fall off... and when they do the grief is so very fresh and painfully debilitating.

Our Wonderful Son, Kenneth ️
by Chuck and Gail Lacks

Of all the special gifts in life,
However great or small,
To have you as our Son,
Was the greatest gift of all.
A special time
A special face
A special Son
I can't replace,
With an aching heart
I whisper low
I miss you son
And love you so

Forever Broken Hearted Chuck & Gail Lacks
SIBLING COLUMN
In Memory of Sean
by Shannon L. Russo-Pollack

22 years ago, I lost my older sibling, Sean. He was 25 and I was just shy of my 21st birthday. I missed out on those glory years where all my friends were off celebrating their 20's in college.  I stayed home, trying to cope with this unimaginable pain and loss. I had lost who I was as a person. 

Shortly after Sean's passing, I met Lillian Julien by fate. Something about Lillian drew me in immediately. It's amazing how you could have never met someone and yet they feel so familiar. It was as if I had know Lillian for a lifetime. After chatting for about 5 minutes, I learned that she had lost her daughter a few years prior in a tragic car accident. Her family was feeling the same type of pain and lack of closure that I was feeling. Little did I know that this woman would set out with such determination to turn her greatest tragedy into something so beautiful and profound. Lillian would become one of the founders of COPE. This organization was game-changing for me and my mom. We were gifted a supportive community.
Some of the volunteers who make the weekend happen :)
CAMP ERIN NYC BOWLING!!!
What a night!!!!!!!

Great friends, supportive families, good food, many laughs, several spares, a couple of strikes and a WIN WIN for Camp Erin NYC campers!

Again our thanks for your collective support and allowing us to help more and more children each summer. I describe us as “The Little Engine That Could” And we did-We raised close to $38,000.

Thank you!!!!!!!!- Now on to planning the summer. 

Happy Spring!
Ann
In the month of May, we remember the following loved ones
who were taken from us before their time.
May Passings
1
Daniel Aquila (2015, Passing) son of Judy Aquila
Peter Kaliscik (2013, Passing) son of Carol & Peter Kaliscik
Stuart Gruskin (2009, Passing) son of Renee Gruskin
Michelle Nardone (2008, Passing) daughter of Nick Nardone
Thomas Yates (2014, Passing) son of Lillian & David Yates
Reis Schneebalg (2015, Passing) son of Gina Schneebalg
Daniel "Dee" Babich (2015, Passing) son of Lauren Sloane
Jan Rothstein (1997, Passing) brother of Ellyn Rothstein
2
Rachel Anolik-Petrsoric (2007, Passing) daughter of Rose & David Anolik
3
Sean Finch (2015, Passing) son of Leah Finch
Pauline Nemati (2015, Passing) daughter of Mitra & Iradj Nemati
4
Patrick Joseph Carney, Jr. (2015, Passing) husband of Dora Carney
Patrick Murphy (2013, Passing) son of Karen Murphy
Deborah Barnes (2012, Passing) daughter of Marcia & Frank Jedzrowski
5
Matthew Lichten (1996, Passing) son of Eric Lichten
Lauren Brittany Katz (2002, Passing) daughter of Michelle & Saul Katz
6
Jennifer Jimenez (2010, Passing) sister of Julianne Jimenez
Christina Angelo (2010, Passing) daughter of Aileen & Joseph Angelo
Joseph Janssen (2013, Passing) son of Mike Janssen
Jesse Radowitz (2007, Passing) son of Sherry and Stu Radowitz
Cody McKenzie Gainey (2011, Passing) son of Michelle Wright
Cliff Leslie (2000, Passing) son of Yvonne Leslie
7
Alan Millman (1968, Passing) son of Stecia Millman
Nicholas Cibelli (2010, Passing) son of Pam Cibelli, brother of Jen Cibelli and Michelle Cibelli
8
Josh Sutton (2013, Passing) brother of Jennifer Sutton
Adam Rayman (2004, Passing) son of Anita & Harry Rayman
Keith Costigan (1998, Passing) son of Kathie Costigan
Gwyn Sullivan (2012, Passing) daughter of Joan Marlow
Adam Michael Zdunczyk (2008, Passing) son of Kathy Zdunczyk
10
Christine DeSantis (2014, Passing) daughter of Irene DeSantis
11
Markus Kotnik (2017, Passing) son of Christine & Frank Kotnik
12
Andrew Burrous (2011, Passing) son of Kathy & Bob Burrous
13
Lakeya Strickland (2015, Passing) daughter of Lakesha Strickland
Nicholas Reimuller (2012, Passing) son of Maureen Reimuller
James Totans (2011, Passing) son of Priscilla Apicella
Kelly Georgens (2015, Passing) sister of Allison Georgens Costello
14
Lori Schiffer (2013, Passing) daughter of Helen Goldstein
Isabella Contreras (2014, Passing) daughter of Alex Contreras
Blaize Curtis Mansur (2013, Passing) son of Susan Mansur
Emily Goldner (2016, Passing) daughter of Mary Goldner
Joseph Capalado (2014, Passing) son of Eric Capalado
15
Christopher Conklin (2014, Passing) son of Gordon Conklin
Larry Finkel (2013, Passing) son of Doris Finkel
16
Joseph Kenny (2014, Passing) son of Kevin & Jo Kenny
Staci Love (2002, Passing) sister of Kimberli Erlich
18
Leonard Ross (2007, Passing) son of Irwin & Barbara Ross
Holly Schuller (2016, Passing) daughter of Ann Schuller
Bobby Celentano (2005, Passing) brother of Alyssa Celentano
19
Harriet Patronis (2015, Passing) daughter of Despina Koukoulas
Michelle Bergman (2010, Passing) daughter of Marc & Jean Levinn
Michelle Bergman (2010, Passing) sister of Sharri Chahalis
Kurt McAuliffe (2013, Passing) son of Jeannie McAuliffe
Dr. James Mathew Wiezorek (2013, Passing) son of Mary Beringer
21
Brad Stoll (2008, Passing) son of Lucy & Howard Stoll
22
Christian Darling (2016, Passing) son of Donna Darling
23
Ryan Wollman (2016, Passing) son of Todd Wollman
Dex Nuzzi (2011, Passing) son of Robert Nuzzi
Walter Allen Hardy, III (2013, Passing) son of Delores Mower
24
Troup Risser (2006, Passing) son of Wendy Holden
25
Dale Dampf (2010, Passing) daughter of Paula Dampf
Tony Ferrante (2013, Passing) son of Sandy Ferrante
26
Kaeli Kramer (2009, Passing) daughter of Linda & Peter Kramer
Sharon Gallucci (1997, Passing) daughter of Patti Greenberg, sister of Ben & Cheryl Greenberg,
sister of Rob & Melanie Gallucci, sister of Marne & Alexander Smyles
Adam Stark (2001, Passing) son of Candice & Jeff Stark, brother of Mariel Stark Williams
27
Johnathan Gonzales (2015, Passing) son of Donna Gonzales
Jimmy Frost (2017, Passing) son of Helen Frost
Michael Kwartler (2013, Passing) son of Jeff Kwartler, brother of Jessica Kwartler
28
Eric Essman (2000, Passing) son of Sage Essman
Rebekah Frucht (Passing) daughter of Morton Frucht, sister of Joseph Frucht
Elisheva Basya (2010, Passing) daughter of Sarah Lerner
Maddy Mieschberger (2018, Passing) daughter of Tracy Mieschberger
Laura Elizabetg Giampino (2007, Passing) daughter of Caryn Pesce
29
Robert Kevin O'Hara (2011, Passing) son of Patricia O'Hara
31
Daniel Weiss (2009, Passing) son of Hannah Weiss
Yaacov (Jake) Soffer Levy (1997, Passing) son of Barbara Levy
Michael Aaron Neeley (2006, Passing) son of Joy Neeley
Michael Unger (2017, Passing) son of Patricia L Unger
Shlomo (Sol) Levy (1997, Passing) husband of Barbara Levy
May Birthdays
1
Rosie Rafickrullah (1982, Birthday) sister of Calvin Rafickrullah
Michael DiGioia (1981, Birthday) brother of Sam DiGioia
Eric Rattinger (1965, Birthday) son of Anne Rattinger
Michael Aaron Neeley (1981, Birthday) son of Joy Neeley
Michael Axelrod ( 1981, Birthday) son of Joan Axelrod
2
William Mark Laube (1989, Birthday) son of Beth & William Laube, brother of Christina Laube
Sydney Gross (1990, Birthday) daughter of Lori Duckstein
David Mannino (1981, Birthday) son of Linda Mannino
3
Joe Marino (1994, Birthday) son of Diane Marino
Jesse Radowitz (1977, Birthday) son of Sherry and Stu Radowitz
Adam Stark (1982, Birthday) son of Candice & Jeff Stark, brother of Mariel Stark Williams
Sean Finch (1995, Birthday) son of Leah Finch
4
Jordana Arin Cooper (1974, Birthday) sister of Jason Cooper
5
Sheila Goldich (1967, Birthday) daughter of Carol Goldich
Jeff Galluzzo (1967, Birthday) son of Fran Galluzzo
Spencer Reis (1997, Birthday) son of Jeff & Anita Reis, brother of Ryan Reis
6
Michael Eichenbaum (9999, Birthday) son of Linda & Lee Eichenbaum
8
Ryan Shaw (1978, Birthday) son of Janice Shaw
Daniel Frenkel (1992, Birthday) brother of Anastasia Frenkel
Brandon Peykar (1980, Birthday) brother of Jennifer Kamin Peykar
Ryan Groh (1993, Birthday) son of Lisa Groh
James Gentry (1977, Birthday) son of Theresa Gentry
9
Steven Goldberg (1969, Birthday) son of Carol Goldberg
Jay Jimenez (1979, Birthday) son of Liz Barbera
10
Shannon Powers (1997, Birthday) daughter of Donna Powers
11
Matthew Bell, Jr. (1994, Birthday) son of Matthew Bell
Donna Hope (1969, Birthday) daughter of Ellen & Jack Krampf
12
Christina Formato (1992, Birthday) daughter of Joe Formato, sister of Theresa Formato
Andrew Gerber (1986, Birthday) son of Laurie Gerber
13
Joseph Oliva (1991, Birthday) son of Theresa Oliva
Pat Posillico (1978, Birthday) son of Frances Posillico
Kevin Naccary (1968, Birthday) brother of Meredith Van Schuyler
14
Howard Brodsky (1961, Birthday) son of Harriet & Phillip Brodsky
Michael Bloomberg (1971, Birthday) son of Sandi & Jerry Bloomberg
15
Michael Trotta (1987, Birthday) son of Jaclyn & Michael Trotta
Rochelle Simms (1984, Birthday) sister of Andrea Simms
17
Blake Carlin (1997, Birthday) son of Jacqueline Carlin
Shannon Fearon (1987, Birthday) sister of Christine Himpler and Catherine Krupp
Blaize Curtis Mansur (1994, Birthday) son of Susan Mansur
Jeanine Pucci (1971, Birthday) daughter of Bernadette Marino
18
Ryan Hannigan (1977, Birthday) son of Anita & John Hannigan
Rebecca Guerin (1970, Birthday) daughter of Rose Guerin
Dan Gerstein (1985, Birthday) brother of Rebecca Gerstein
19
Christopher J. Eisele (1985, Birthday) son of John & Kathy Montoya
21
Jacob Goodman (1998, Birthday) son of Nancy Goodman
22
Larry Lubitz (1963, Birthday) son of Leona Lubitz
Joseph Goldman (1967, Birthday) brother of Gina Goldman
Michael Lombardo (1981, Birthday) son of Fran Jennings
23
Daniel Milch (1980, Birthday) son of Linda Milch
Chistopher Shea (1995, Birthday) son of Katie Shea
Anthony Rodriguez (2014, Birthday) son of Luis & Jannette Rodriguez
24
Adam Cohen (1974, Birthday) son of Marilyn Cohen
Isaiah Mitchell (2003, Birthday) son of Vivonne Mitchell
Isabella Contreras (2006, Birthday) daughter of Alex Contreras
Jimmy Frost (1964, Birthday) son of Helen Frost
Mario Guy Mendez (1968, Birthday) son of Ellen Pontecorvo
25
Larry Gnolfo (1961, Birthday) son of Coral & Jim Gnolfo
Joshua Link (1980, Birthday) son of Linda & Ronald Link, brother of Sara Link & Eric Neisner
Tiara Durham (1993, Birthday) daughter of Tonya Durham
Miranda Marciano (1993, Birthday) daughter of Jeff Marciano
Jerry Hart (1975, Birthday) son of Helen Geslak
26
David Tauber Wiener (1973, Birthday) son of Phyllis Wiener
Christopher F. Elshamy (1983, Birthday) son of Haydee Santiago
27
James Zajicek (1980, Birthday) son of Anna Zajicek
28
Marco Caban (1966, Birthday) father of Jessica Caban
Johnathan Gonzales (1983, Birthday) son of Donna Gonzales
Paul Marchese (1972, Birthday) son of Laura Verardi
Leonard Ross (1979, Birthday) son of Irwin & Barbara Ross
Mitchell Lippman (1958, Birthday) son of Mona Zenke
Joanna Elizabeth Johnson (1990, Birthday) daughter of Donna Johnson
Thomas Reynolds (1998, Birthday) son of Lisa Reynolds
Jacqueline Groody (1993, Birthday) daughter of Tammy Groody
Joanna Elizabeth Johnson (1990, Birthday) daughter of Jake Johnson, sister of Laura Johnson
Sean Egan (1983, Birthday) son of Ellen Seibert, ) brother of Paige Seibert
29
Fran Sharp Auslander ( 1978, Birthday) daughter of Robert & Arlene Sharp, sister of Ari Sharp,
sister of Shaun and Elissa Sharp
Mark Edwin Fant (1959, Birthday) son of Winnie Fant
Larry Yerys (1971, Birthday) son of Abbey & Paul Yerys, ) brother of Ben Yerys
Eric Schalet  (1962, Birthday) son of Sandra Protass
Susan Shapiro (1961, Birthday) sister of Joan Shapiro
GENERAL DONATIONS
We thank our generous supporters for making donations to COPE during the month of April: Please click here to view donations made in honor of loved ones (go to Donations April 2018.)
COPE Foundation
PO Box 1251
Melville, New York 11747
516-832-2673