Contact: Kelsey Siqveland
Saint Paul Area Chamber announces they have hired Dennis Rodman to broker a Peace Accord with Minneapolis
(SAINT PAUL, MINN., APRIL 1, 2013) - The Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce announced today that they have hired Dennis Rodman, given his stellar work in North Korea, to broker a peace accord with long-time rival Minneapolis. "Our differences divide us when our similarities should unite us," said Matt Kramer, President of the Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce. "While the Aquatennial is a weak-kneed imitation of a true Minnesotan Festival like the Winter Carnival, and no Minneapolis Mayor has yet to skate Crashed Ice as a Saint Paul Mayor has done, we mean no malice to our cousins in commerce across the river. It is our hope that Mr. Rodman can find that common ground that has so long eluded us."
Mr. Rodman, for his part, announced that his preliminary visit yielded some insight into the quintessential Minneapolitan character. After riding bikes around Lake Calhoun, having a triple Mocha Soy-Latte Frappachino in Uptown, and enjoying a leisurely stroll on Block E, Mr. Rodman returned to Saint Paul convinced that an accord can be achieved. "They are good people, odd for sure, but good people nonetheless. Let us join hands between the capital city, and that other one, and find ways to bring a lasting peace to this frozen land."
About the Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce
The Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce
is a vital, dynamic force serving the business community through the collective strength of its members. For more than 140 years, the Chamber has provided vibrant programs, powerful advocacy and results that foster member growth. With over 1,200 members, the SPACC is the largest local chamber in Minnesota.