MONDAY, JANUARY 6, 2013
Volume III Issue 350 Copyright 2012-2013-2014
Banner Elk Magazine is published Monday through Friday
Ron Johnson, Publisher  ron@BannerElkMagazine.Com
BannerElkMagazine.Com

Weather Forecast for Banner Elk
Cold-A-Roni.
Cream Me Up and Light My Fire.

Can you imagine going outside in short sleeves and playing football on a frozen field? While watching the Green Bay-San Francisco game at the frozen tundra last night I went outside in short sleeves just to try and experience how cold I could get. In about 15-seconds I was cold and there was no way I could throw a frozen football very far.

So I Googled "How do NFL players stay warm during super cold games?" I was surprised to see thousands of links, but for the first time I understood how they do it - creams, my boy, creams.

I know this is a family-oriented publication, but I have to mention that before the players apply their creams they put on their jock strap in the event they, uh, misjudge while creaming their whole bodies.

Much like a Tupperware party these bruisers gather around to discuss which creams are best to beat the cold and here's what they came up with:A cream product called "Warm Skin" mixed with Vaseline and "Tiger Balm". Some players rub Cayenne Pepper and then cover that with "Warm Skin."

I wonder how many of those little tins of Cayenne Pepper it would take to cover the entire body? Imagine going to the grocery store and buying 50? So since it will be frozen tundra just about every place a play off game will be played here on out, check out the vibrant and glistening arms of number 65 who is 6'6" and 350 pounds. -Ron

This is not our stoplight. Even if it was it wouldn't stop skiers coming
to "The Ski Capital of the South" and Banner Elk is right between
Ski Sugar and Ski Beech. We have many wonderful places to stay and, yes,
Banner Elk loves skiers! Click here to make your reservation.

Younger brother of our Banner Elk? On December 27 the Town of Elk Park
put up this Elk. Photo is by Suzane Tucker and there is always some interesting reading at this Avery County History Facebook page.

For privacy purposes this is not the home of my friends in Banner Elk who have a generator, a generator that would produce heat and a glowing TV of the FSU-Auburn championship game in the event the power went out.

Now that it appears the power will stay on to at least 11pm tonight and as a "fair weather" friend I am cancelling my offer to get you an invitation to their home and each of you who paid me $100 for an invite will be refunded less a nominal service charge.

As you know the invite came with the stipulation that you had to be a Seminole fan since the home owners are both graduates of that school. I should point out that one of the persons who gave me $100 actually lied about wanting FSU to win and they will not receive a refund.  Hey, all's fair in love, war and football. Go Noles! -Ron
Record-setting at Ski Sugar.
Check out their web cam

 
Banner Elk Magazine
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