Sunday, March 30, 2014

     

Breaking the Silence 
  
 Psalm 130                   
 

The Korean word "cham-uh" is often translated in English as "to be patient." In reality, it is closer to meaning "suck it up!" When I was sick I was instructed to "cham-uh." When I was hungry, I was told to "cham-uh." When I burned my foot and a nurse had to scrub the dead skin off, I had to "cham-uh." All my life I have obeyed the instruction to suck it up, swallow my tears and eat my bitterness.

 

When my mother died in February I was told, "She is in a better place." In other words, "You really don't have anything to feel sad, upse,t or empty about. Suck it up!"

 

"Cham-uh" is meant to bring order to the chaos in our minds, emotions, and bodies. It is meant to stuff "unpleasant and unwanted" cries down deep so as to rob them of outward manifestation, sound, and strength. But the Psalmist cries out "from the depths," from this unfathomable, unspeakable, and life-sucking void. The Psalmist will not "cham-uh." He will not use his strength to suck it up! Instead, he uses what strength he has to cry out for God to hear his voice and his prayer. He bears the turmoil and darkness in his soul before the God who has a reputation for fearlessly transforming chaos and forgiving destructive behavior.

 

Then he waits. He watches and waits for God, like someone who anticipates a dawn that is sure to come.  
              

Yung Me Suh Morris           

SFTS M.Div. Senior Student