When God Says, "No"

Saturday, July 22nd

15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died.

2 Samuel 12:15-18a

I have heard of too many cases when difficulties in life are equated with disobedience to God. It may be that people have read David's story in 2 Samuel too often and have simply thought that God only works one way. After David's affair with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, David and Bathsheba's child died.

David pleaded with God. He fasted before the Lord. He spent nights alone, lying in sackcloth on the ground. He would not eat and after all of his asking the Lord for sparing his child, the child still died.

It would be easy for us to simply see David's sin in this passage and not look beyond to the fact that David's pleading to the Lord was seemingly met with silence. David asked God to spare the child and God's answer was "No."

I don't know many people who like to be given "No" for an answer. It seems that toddlers learn that word faster than any other words. It doesn't take very long for them to assert themselves and begin saying it over and over again. From that moment when we learn the word and on into the rest of our lives, it seems that we have a visceral response when we hear it. It never quite feels good to us and when it comes to God saying it to us, especially in our crying out and pleading, it can feel that much worse.

It's never easy to hear it and I don't want to in any way diminish the pain of hearing it, but in the midst of that pain, we can often find ourselves in the weeds, struggling with the intense pain of the situation. We don't see what God sees and we may never see what he sees until we stand before him.

We can sometimes run too quickly to the pat religious answer that God is sovereign and controls all things, and that's an important place for us to get to. But first, we need to find ourselves in the place where David found himself, pleading, fasting, struggling. It's a miserable place to be, none of us wants to find ourselves there, but when God says, "No" to us, there is an honest and real struggle with that with which we need to wrestle.

I will never understand on this side of eternity just why God's answer to my pleading for the healing of my mom was "No." It dumbfounds me and there are no easy answers for me. Many others have experienced losses far more significant than my own and God's "No" to them is most likely even more painful than my own. Resting in God, being honest with him, and struggling are the right responses to what seems to be his deafness to our pleas.

We may struggle and answers may be elusive, but in our pain, in our grief, in our lack of understanding, we can know that he is there and he weeps with us. It's not the answer that we want to hear, but I believe that one day, not on this side of eternity, we will gain a better understanding of just what he was doing when his answer to us was, "No."

Prayer:

Father, help me to trust you even when you say, "No." Help me as I struggle and wrestle through. Help me not to offer pat answers to others who may experience similar struggles. May I weep and mourn with others while holding onto you, even when answers that we want are not the answers that we get. In Jesus' name, Amen