Routing Dates Now For:
 
East Coast 9/7/17-9/11/17
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West Coast 9/15/17-9/30/17
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** Additional avails for Early Spring & Late Fall**
While his clever humor and apt impersonations are well-known to audiences, Hammond kept his 30-year battle with mental illness hidden from view... until now. With an unusual candor and honesty, Hammond delivers a story of perseverance and hope that touches the heart and mind.
 
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Excerpt from Prologue
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by Darrell Hammond
 
Watch for Release Date

I sat on a bench on Broadway in the Upper West Side, sharing a cold-pressed juice with a homeless guy wondering what normal people do all the day when they're not expecting to be killed at any moment. My phone dinged and I figured it was the Director of one of the Betty Ford's checking in on me. It was Ivanka Trump thanking me for helping her with a birthday video for her dad.
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I guess people think about normal things in life like money, religion and politics. What they would spend a million dollars on. What they would hate to spend a million dollars on.
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You've probably thought a lot about what you would do if you came into a large sum of money, a winning lottery ticket, an inheritance from some distant relative, or an authentic Declaration of Independence hidden in your attic. Answers vary, but can center around procuring houses and cars, traveling the world, and heroic philanthropic endeavors. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.
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Now imagine taking that money and spending it on your mental health.
What? That's not what you'd use it for? I did. Over my lifetime, I've spent over a million dollars on shrinks, prescriptions, name brand rehabs, and off-brand nuthouses. I also bought houses and cars, went on trips, and raised money for worthy causes. I even had a BMW con-
vertible because I approximated that's what a normal dude like myself would like, but turns out, I don't like to drive.
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So what would you absolutely hate to spend a million dollars on? Paying people to dredge up the darkest memories in your brain to figure out why you're an alcoholic drug addict has to rank up there, right? At least top three. Despite my spitefulness over the cost of my mental care, it's the reason I'm alive to write this.
I can't just die now and let this million-dollar brain go to waste.
 
Assuming you read my first book, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked , you know a bit about my history. In case you didn't, I'm a New York Times Bestselling author, and the longest tenured cast member in Saturday Night Live history. I took over as announcer after Don Pardo passed, and appear on camera occasionally as Bill Clinton. I played Clinton in an underground bunker for Vice President Dick Cheney and Speaker of the House, Trent Lott, and have held private audiences with four U.S. Presidents (five including Trump).
 
Those are some of my proudest accomplishments, but not who I am. Who I am is a WWII vet's son who learned to imitate other
people's voices as a way to keep his mother from abusing him. Someone who has seen supernatural evil in the eyes of the person who brought him into this world.
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I've been treated for everything in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and have been prescribed enough pills to fill a beanbag chair weekly. I'm on a first name basis with the gardeners at all the best rehabs, and have read enough psychology and self-help books to teach a college course. Each time a new doctor gave another name to what was wrong with me, I felt that immediate wave of relief that I might finally get to be normal, followed shortly by the nagging pissy voice in the back of my head assuring me that I couldn't be fixed. That voice was always there, and almost always right...

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~ A Unique Presentation ~
Hiding Sorrow While Spreading Laughter
...................Scheduling 2017 Now........................
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The Parsons Company, Inc.
Phyllis Parsons
925-934-5300
parsonscompanyinc@gmail.com
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