In the relationship that you have with yourself, be sure to trust what you believe and do not be fooled by others who may manipulate you in to thinking a certain way.  You know yourself better than anyone else and your role is to protect yourself against anyone who tries to control you.  Be sure you understand your own beliefs, morals and values and that while you can be open to others influences, don't allow others to change those beliefs unless you truly become more connected to that belief.  The accusations against individuals in the media with regards to inappropriate conduct is big news today.  What would you have done if you were the one being pursued?  Do you have any characteristics of those who were the pursuers?  Knowing your rights and the role you play in your own life can help guard against those situations. 

In a committed relationship, you not only have the role of knowing your beliefs but you need to be well-versed in the beliefs of the other person in the relationship.  Have you talked with your significant other about what they think of the recent news events?  Seek to understand their thoughts on a wide range of topics such as politics, religion, sex, children, finances, etc.  Knowing what they believe and also sharing what you believe allows both of you to be clear on boundaries in that relationship.  Do you feel manipulated in this relationship?  Does the other person tell you that they feel manipulated?  A balance of power can be very important here. If you are the one who is manipulating, it could be due to past experiences where you felt you had no control and you are compensating for that.  It could be that you have a need to feel superior in life and do not have the skills to be a team player or to be a collaborator.   If you don't have the skills to talk about these topics, please seek assistance in how to do so.  There are many books and professionals that can help.

Lastly, what about relationships you have with coworkers or friends?  While these may not always be as significant as a committed relationship, friends and coworkers can play a very important part in our lives.  In a work situation, if someone is trying to push the boundaries further than you want to go, be sure you understand the work place policies regarding such behavior.  Talk to your Human Resources Director if you are unclear on the policy. You have the right to say NO.  If you fear losing your job, talk to HR and they can advise you of the best course of action.   

If you are thinking about crossing boundaries with a coworker or friend and you are already in a committed relationship.....don't do it.  Reflect first on what you feel you may be missing in your committed relationship and talk to that person.  Tell them how you feel.  Simple communication between the two of you may be all that you need to feel close to your significant other again.  You could avoid a situation that might not be repairable. Seek help to sort anything out prior to making your decision.

You are a very special person.  You are worth taking the time to evaluate your own role in the relationships you have.  If you are happy with those roles, rejoice and be glad.  If you feel you want to change any of those roles, you are not alone and there are many ways to change those roles.  There is always an option. 

Thank you all for your loyalty to my newsletters this year. I am coming up on my 100th newsletter in a few months.  I enjoy writing them and am always looking for new topics.  

Have a safe and healthy holiday season.  I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, as that is the holiday I celebrate with my family. See ya'll next year!!!