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Not Giving Up

 February, 2012

Quote of the month


"Success is not final, failure is not fatal:

 it is the courage to continue that counts."


 by Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)


My Services
Pre-Marital Counseling
Certified Prepare/Enrich Program Facilitator
Marital Counseling
Infidelity Issues
Self-Esteem Support
Problem-Solving Support
Renew Marital Excitement
Family counseling

Divorce Support
Collaborative Law Communications Facilitator
Redefining Life Purpose
Grief/Loss Support


I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.


Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University


Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist


Private Practice 

since 2008


NJ work experience totaling 5 years


Married 23 years


Mother of 2 teenage daughters 


Lived in Indiana, 

New Jersey and Texas


Passionate about 

what I do




Do you ever get to the point where you feel that a goal is unreachable?  You have done everything in your power to accomplish something and yet you are prevented from attaining the goal....at least for now.  What do you do?   Keep going?  Give up?  Take a break and refocus?  There are lots of options.


I can speak from recent experience when I say that if the goal is that important to you, there will be a way to attain it.....eventually. When you do reach that goal you need to celebrate in some way.  Rewarding ourselves for a job well done is essential to raising our spirits in order to tackle the next challenge that will be put before us.


Please forward this newsletter on to someone you feel may benefit from it's content.



 Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT

Southlake Counseling & Neurofeedback Center

420 North Carroll Ave Suite 140

Southlake, TX 76092




Missed previous newsletters??

Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....


From The Positive Perspective.......


After a journey that began over a decade ago at the University of Indiana, South Bend, I have finally reached full licensure as a Marriage and Family Therapist.  Whheewwww!!!!  Having started this journey with schooling in one state; relocating back to NJ to continue; and finally transferring down to Texas 5 years ago I was able to keep my dream alive through support from family and friends as well as keeping the drive alive inside of myself.  There were many opportunities to give up.  There were many frustrations along the way that encouraged me to find another goal.  But my heart told me differently.  My training has taught me to not give up without a fight. I hopefully pass some of that knowledge on to you today. 


This goal was so important to me for so long....would I really be able to celebrate when I reached the end or would I be too exhausted to even care?  Let me tell you.....absolutely celebrate....without a doubt.  We need to celebrate our accomplishments to experience some joy and satisfaction for the work we have done.  Look back at the journey and highlight what went well, what main struggles you experienced and how you overcame them so you learn for next time what to do differently.


Think about the one goal that means the most to you right now.  For some it has to do with health; for others it has to do with education or a job; for still others it might be to simply wake up every morning and be able to think positively, not negatively, at the world. Many others are working hard at saving a relationship and rebuilding a new life together or overcoming a recent life tragedy. 


Write the goal down in an area where you will see it frequently.   Read it out loud.  Read it with determination.  Ask yourself what steps you can take today to get just a little closer to reaching that goal.  Here's the kicker........be sure to reward yourself for any progress you have made toward that goal today.  Any progress at all.  Keep notes on what you did to move towards success that day. 


We tend to be more critical of ourselves because we didn't do it perfect or yes we had 150 positive thoughts today but we punish ourselves for 2 negative thoughts.  Research shows us that adults actually do put more weight on negative thoughts than positive ones, so we need to be extra careful to keep the positivity going whenever possible. 


Ask for help to achieve the goal if needed.  Ask your partner to let you know when you are doing things that please them if you are working on your relationship.  Ask friends and family to point out to you when you are looking at situations positively.  Discuss your work-related goals with a mentor at your place of employment who can help guide you to where you want to be.  The key is to think outside the box just a little bit, have confidence in yourself with the decisions you are making and above all celebrate when you achieve even just a part of the goal.  On the flipside, don't be too hard on yourself when you have a bad day.  We are human.  We are not perfect. Tomorrow is another day.


We need to encourage each other in this world to keep going, as the economy and negativity and dwindling family values are a sad part of today's reality.  But how much of that reality enters your life every day and what do you do with it?  That's up to you. How you respond to it....that's up to you too.


I could have chosen to give up my dream but I am so thankful that I did not.  I get to do what I am passionate about.  I feel privileged to help guide my clients as they grow in their strength and determination to make better lives for themselves and those around them. May you have a piece of that in your life as well.


Thank you to all those who have allowed me to assist them on their journey to a better life.  It has been my pleasure.  I look forward to working with and encouraging more of you in the future.


It helps to look at this situation From The Positive Perspective.......
I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com.  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...