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Freeing Yourself from the Grip of Low Self-Esteem

 

In order to vault past the tenacious grip of low self-esteem, look at your limiting core beliefs and thoughts. The first step is to appreciate how these beliefs first arose and then see how they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Ask yourself how you know them to be true? You can transcend these constraints when you break free from the groove of recurring thoughts that support such damaging beliefs. 
 

To further our exploration of developing authentic self-esteem, I'm pleased to announce the launch of the Self-Esteem Workshop, a live, interactive videoconference, beginning Tuesday, August 13th.

 

In my previous articles in this series on self-esteem, we've considered how low self-worth surfaces as an array of psychological, emotional, and relationship challenges, and then we looked at how we misunderstand what we actually mean by self-esteem, seeking it in futile ways. We'll now turn our attention to how we can free ourselves from the debilitating grip of self-denigrating beliefs and thoughts that script those lives tragically limited by low self-esteem.

 

I often assist my therapy clients in surfacing and articulating their core beliefs about themselves. Subtle or overt messages or treatment, typically in childhood, set up and mold our sense of self. Those who struggle with their self-worth have invariably secured negative imprints of themselves. These themes may play out in one's head as "I'm not lovable," or  "I'm not good enough," or "I'm not smart enough," or simply "I'm a loser." Once we internalize these messages, we integrate these beliefs deeply in our psyche. The beliefs become self-fulfilling. Our potential as human beings collapses and narrows as our limiting beliefs of self become our truth. And we act out our lives correspondingly.

 
When you engage life with such destructive notions of yourself, your experiences typically concur with your belief. If you think you're not good enough, you'll choose relationships with people that will conform to that expectation. If you maintain that you're not smart enough, that predisposition will impact your learning and your grades, as the thought that I'm not smart enough will interfere with your ability to learn. If you think you're a loser, you can imagine the results. 

  

 

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Mel Schwartz LCSW, Mphil, is a psychotherapist, marriage counselor, executive coach and seminar leader. He is the author of The Art of Intimacy, The Pleasure of Passion and the forthcoming A Shift of Mind. He earned his graduate degree from Columbia University and has been a keynote speaker at Yale University. Mel is the founder of the Emergent Thinking� process - a landmark approach to personal evolution. You can learn more about Mel at his website - www.Melschwartz.com .  

 

Mel is in private practice in Westport, CT (203.227.5010), NYC (443.629.7421), and also works with with clients both nationally and internationally by phone or skype. Mel can also be reached at [email protected]. Upcoming events are available at Melschwartz.com

 

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