May 19, 2017
In the mid 80s,
my world was turned upside down and inside out when I discovered feminism.
That was the very first time that I came to see three vital pieces about human life on this planet:
- What we have come to, the way we are now, is not inevitable; patriarchy happened; it wasn't preordained.
- There was a time, before patriarchy, when we lived connected with each other and nature.
- It remains possible to free ourselves - individually and globally - from the patriarchal-capitalist-Eurocentric cage we're in and have a future that builds on the past.
An interfaith vigil in solidarity with Standing Rock, and to protect the Bay Area Shellmounds, sacred burial sites of the Ohlone Nation, 11/6/16.
It's this last one that's become the conviction, light, and energy that motivates me to do my work. This is what I've been working for day after day. It has gotten me to change everything I can think of: how I relate to myself; what I eat or don't; how I relate to money; how I think of leadership; what I teach or don't; how I work with clients.
These changes have gotten me in trouble, many times over. In my recent
I am writing about the cost of mysteriously losing many relationships and how I am making sense of it and coping with it, in part by seeing the connection with the choices I've made about how I show up in the world.
These changes have also given me intimacy I had never imagined possible before,
with so many people I can barely keep up with the relationships with friends who
handle, even enjoy, the person I have become, have always been. And they have given me the intoxicating experience of meaning. There is no longer a moment in which I question my path because of the cost. I am profoundly in acceptance of it all.
My being in the world is an ongoing invitation to others to join with me in working towards that vision. I often encounter people who are deeply inspired by the picture of possibility I am painting;
it speaks to a longing for that sweeping, all-encompassing care that we came from, each in our infancy and collectively in times past.
When people see me in action, either how I live or how I lead (and are they different, anyway?), many tell me they see something that helps them understand that vision more tangibly, and they are attracted.
t the level of practice, though, many jump enthusiastically into learning from me, hiring me as a consultant, or choosing to work with me without realizing what the vision fully means and the ramifications of it in terms of how they live and work; how much they would be asked to step outside whatever comfort bubble they have lived in, especially if they are white and with class privilege. So let me tell you:
this journey of stepping into the abyss of not knowing and refusing to accept the messages of patriarchy and capitalism is wrenching, rigorous, life-giving, and enormously demanding.
It's an inner excavation coupled with a transformation of everything external. It's freedom beyond my wildest dreams as a child.
A Story of Radical Fundraising
And still I keep forgetting that the journey is so hard and invisible, and assume that the inspiration and initial connection mean that people know what they are getting themselves into. And so it was inviting Margo Dunlap to join our BayNVC team to bring to us her considerable experience in development and community organizing, and her passion for the work. It took many heartfelt and deep conversations over months for all the invisible differences to surface and be worked through. We co-created the alignment necessary for her to manage the delicacy of raising funds in a way that is so different from "best practices". We are both the more conscious and loving for it.
And Margo has stepped fully into the fray of radical fundraising. I hope you will see the results. Her
invites you to consider supporting "Miki's Match," an effort to match the extraordinary gift of $45,000 that helps create the foundation for me to continue with the work I am doing needing less and less to do direct service in exchange for money.
This letter of hers, the entire effort to match the gifts we are receiving, is a big step into the gift economy experiment, with little similarity to traditional fundraising campaigns. So far this year we have raised
$11,376.00 of the $45,000 matching grants. The match remains for the duration of the year, and we plan to give you a monthly update via email and on the Fearless Heart website so you know how close we are to achieving our goal.
In closing, this being Inbal's birthday on the 16
of this month, I am remembering her discovery of savoring in the first bout of cancer she had.
Savoring is different from gratitude.
It's a way of settling into an experience, allowing myself to feel it fully, whether I like it or not. In this moment, I am savoring the experience of embarking on this journey of asking for more and more support from this community and the world to focus on the work of these times. This is a time of great risk and vulnerability for both Margo and me, and a time of surrender and faith. I am grateful beyond words for the aliveness in me and the connection to everything that sustains me, from microbes to friends. I hope you will join me - by taking risks yourself, by inviting others into the mystery, or by choosing to
support my work
if you haven't already.
in peace and hope,
P.S. If you want to hear more of what's been happening in the last month, click
here for both work and personal celebrations and mournings,
including news about the White Privilege Conference where I co-presented last month, the global governance project I am involved with, and more.
Image credits, all Flickr: From the top: Stop Patriarchy, by Steve Rhodes, (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0). West Berkeley Shellmound Interfaith Vigil 11-06-16, by Wendy Renin, (CC BY-ND 2.0). Heart Afire, by Rodger Evans, (CC BY-ND 2.0). Vision Of Eyechart With Glasses, by Ken Teegardin, (CC BY-SA 2.0). Savouring, by Ben Kubota, (CC BY 2.0).
Online with the NVC Academy
February 10 - September 24, 2017, 12:00-2:00pm
Leadership isn't always about the position you hold. Whether you are a CEO, parent, waitress, board member, spiritual leader, mail clerk, manager, volunteer, or teacher, you always have the challenge and opportunity of taking responsibility for the whole. This program will give you the opportunity to approach life from the driver's seat, able to respond to what life presents with heart-felt care for all.
can still be joined without any loss since it's organic in the moment, with no curriculum... and it's cheaper than it was because of being after the start.
with Shakti Butler, Roxy Manning, Jeyanthy Siva, Victor Lewis, Miki Kashtan and others
June 9 - 11
Video Conference h
osted by NVC Academy
June 11, 1:00 - 2:30 PST:
Miki's session, "From Shame to Vision and Action: Mobilizing Our Privilege for the Benefit of All."
Learn more and register...
CNVC International Intensive Trainings
CNVC Formación Intensiva Internacional
with Alan Seid, Fabiola Fuentes, Arnina Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
At Fundación PuntoZero, Putaendo (103 km north of Santiago)
December 1 - 10
9 Day residential training, Menlo Park, CA
Focus on Power, Privilege, and the Body
with Roxy Manning, Jeyanthy Siva, Sarah Peyton, Bob Wentworth, and Miki Kashtan
Learn more and register...
Facilitation Trainings with Miki
in Poland, Spain, and the US: N. California, Chicago, Cleveland
Do you have family and friends living in any of these places? Tell them about these opportunities.
June 26-29 in Barcelona, June 30 - July 2 in Madrid, Spain. Both Convergent Facilitation, in Spanish.
Convergent Facilitation, one day training, Cleveland, OH. Details TBA.
Working for Transformation without Recreating the Past
in Prague, Czechia and Rochester, NY
"As I understand it," Miki writes, "patriarchy is the original separation, and it restructured both institutions and thinking. At its core, it's a separation from life, from self, from others, and from nature. Capitalism, racism, and all the other forms of exploitation, oppression, war, and now environmental degradation, could only come into being because patriarchy already primed us for them.
Sunday, June 4, 10:30am - noon
(There is only one Fearless Heart call in June.)Sunday, March 19, 10:30 am - noon
Sunday, May 21, 1:00 - 2:30pm
Tuesday, June 6, 6:30 - 8:00pm
Sunday, June 25, 1:00 - 2:30pm
Principle-Based-Teaching Coaching Calls
Sunday, May 21, 3 - 4:30pm
Sunday, June 4, 5:00 - 6:30pm
The Principle-Based-Teaching calls
are designed for people who have been integrating NVC for a while, who are now sharing NVC with others in various forms, and would like to engage with others and with Miki in deepening our collective capacity to bring NVC to the world in this particular way.
|NVC Family Camps on Gabriola Island, B.C. and around the world
NVC family camps were started by Miki's late sister Inbal Kashtan and are now sprouting in many places, more than we even know about. Here we share specific information about an NVC family camp that features our very own Rose Slam! Johnson as one of the facilitators.
A combination of learning experiences, an experiment in community and giving, and a holiday by the ocean - all wrapped up into one.
Campers with or without NVC experience are welcome! We'll have three days of workshop sessions, led by experienced facilitators, around the themes of: individual work, relationships, and community change. Yoga will be offered every morning, and there are trails and beaches to explore. Our community is multigenerational, we offer programing for youth, teens and adults. Everyone is welcome! Campers bring what they need to camp - not hard on beautiful Gabriola Island!
For information on other NVC family camps around the world, your best bet is to search online, as there isn't one central location for all of them.
Share the celebration of Miki's work in the world. We invite you to consider being part of the Circle of Support to help us make a current fundraising match!