The Dating and Relationship Group:  Enactment: Romantic Love as Destiny
Psychological theory suggests that romantic relationships are pre-determined, i.e., your choice of a partner, and the dynamics that get played out between the two of you, are destined.  In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, November 7, 2015 (12:00 to 1:15 PM), I will elaborate on this view of relationships and highlight the unconscious motivations involved in who we love and what our love means.  I will contend that a person recruits a romantic partner to play a role in his/her life that is well-known and unresolved; the essence of the bond is more about the "enactment" of personal historical turmoil than emotional and sexual intimacy.  Our discussion will address how to identify and work with these dynamics to achieve more fulfilling relationships.

The Men's Group: 
The False, True, and Unknown Selves 
Within normal human development, theorists argue that the identity splits into three components: the false self (the part of identity that is motivated to appeal to others and conceal "true" experience), the true self (the part of the identity that proclaims one's authentic experience in spite of how it may be perceived), and the unknown self (the part of the identity that was not supported and consequently lies dormant). These are necessary segments of a person's mental life because the diverse array of experiences of the human condition requires ongoing shifts in which components are accessed and which are restrained.   In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, November 7, 2015 (10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon), I will describe the developmental circumstances that culminate in the splitting of the identity.  We will then explore to what extent attendees utilize each of the three selves in their daily lives, and how, and under what conditions, a non-optimal endorsement of these different components may occur.  Particular attention will be paid to accessing and nurturing the unknown self, which I will conceptualize as the seat of creativity, subversion, and decision-making. 

To register for the November 7th meetings of the Men's Group and the Dating and Relationship Group:   If you would like to attend the Men's Group (10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon) and/or the Dating and Relationship Group (12:00 to 1:15 PM) on Saturday, November 7, please RSVP ASAP to Dr. Tobin at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com. There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis.  The fee is $25.00 and the location is The Water Garden Business Center, 23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130, Laguna Hills, CA, 92653.  Please note that these groups are educational in purpose, not therapeutic.  
 
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 | jt@jamestobinphd.com 
Website: jamestobinphd.com
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