The Dating and Relationship Group:  Self-Alienation and Its Role in Relationships 
Most forms of human distress and suffering involve "disconnects" between one's true identity and his/her adaptive self (i.e., the identity one implements in the world and in relationships with others).  I have often considered the so-called "midlife crisis" as the inevitable realization that one has been living these disconnects for years and they are now intolerable.   Psychologists and psychotherapists conceptualize these disconnects as "self-alienations."  In his groundbreaking work "Self-Alienation: Dynamics and Therapy," Weiss (1961) poignantly wrote, one "begins to move away from his self, which seems not good enough to be loved.  He moves away from what he is, what he feels, what he wants.  If one is not loved for what one is, one can at least be safe -- safe perhaps by being very good and perfect and being loved for it, or by being very strong and being admired or feared for it, or by learning not to feel, not to want, not to care" (p. 209).  In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, October 17, 2015, 12:00 to 1:15 PM, I will discuss the role of self-alienation dynamics in romantic relationships. How these dynamics can be overcome may surprise you.  To register to attend this group on Saturday, October 17, 2015, please see the directions below. 

The Men's Group: 
7 Components of Male Charisma (Part II): Interpersonal Success
In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, October 17, 2015, 10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon, we will continue our discussion of male charisma.  In Part I, the capacity to form and maintain both interpersonal and intrapersonal boundaries, as well as how to respond to distorted projections onto the self, were the primary themes discussed.  In Part II, we will focus on social dynamics that impede interpersonal success.  Habitual defensive processes, personality resilience, and rigid belief systems will be discussed with the assumption that, psychologically, a man's self-concept may negatively impact the identity he presents to the world.  Adherence to an idealized "false" self will be considered as a form of personal alienation.   T o register to attend this group on Saturday, October 17, 2015, please see the directions below.

To register for the October 17th meetings of the Men's Group and the Dating and Relationship Group:   If you would like to attend the Men's Group (10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon) and/or the Dating and Relationship Group (12:00 to 1:15 PM) on Saturday, October 17, please RSVP ASAP to Dr. Tobin at 949-338-4388 or There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis.  The fee is $25.00 and the location is The Water Garden Business Center, 23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130, Laguna Hills, CA, 92653.  Please note that these groups are educational in purpose, not therapeutic.  
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 | 
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