Licensed Psychologist, NJ Lic#4481, DE Lic#736  

Dakhari Psychological Services, LLC 

Owner

Minding What Matters, Editor-in-Chief 

 

What You See......

What They See......

The Picky Eater

Picky eaters are not a rare.  Depending on how "picky eater" is defined, at any point during childhood estimates range from 13% to 22% of children.  What can parents do to help their child eat a broader and more balanced diet?

First things first.

As with any concern parents have regarding their children's health and behavior, ruling out underlying physical or medical causes is the first step in addressing the problem.  If your child has a clean bill of health from a physician, there are a number of strategies that may be put in place to increase your comfort and enhance the variety and amount of food your child consumes. 

Expectations.

As parents, it is our job to nurture and nourish our children.  When our children appear not to allow us to nourish them, we may get anxious and upset.  It is important to take a deep breath and examine our expectations.  Children naturally eat less than adults and will be consuming smaller portion sizes.  Our plates and portion sizes have been growing and distorting our views on appropriate portion sizes.  If your child says he is not hungry, it may be helpful to respect that and he will learn to eat when he is hungry.  Battling over how much...or little...was consumed sets up a power struggle over food and negative associations with mealtime. 

The angst associated with the thought of not being able to properly nourish one's child can lead to a variety of behaviors that only serve to worsen the problem.  Paying attention to the food left on the plate instead of the food that was eaten may have the effect of a child leaving more food on the plate.  It is more effective to try to change behavior by focusing on what is going right and encouraging more of that than it is to focus on what is not going well and trying to discourage that behavior. The more you recognize and celebrate what your child eats...when broccoli or peas are the only things left on the plate they become more enticing to eat-to keep the attention and praise coming. 

Moving on to the "less desirable" foods will not happen if your kitchen becomes home to a short order cook...one who will prepare meal after meal to accommodate everyone's individual tastes.  Reasonable accommodations include preparing the same foods simply and pairing novel foods with familiar favorites.  These are good strategies as children tend to like their food plain and are more likely to try something new if it is paired with something they know they like.  It is unreasonable to cook something different for your child for each meal served.  Repeated exposure to a new food increases the likelihood that a child will eat it...so if cauliflower does not make the cut the first time it appears on your child's plate do not give up on it.

Variety is the spice of life.

Variety in what is available for eating and what children see their parents eat is key in establishing and maintaining a varied diet.  There is a strong tendency to go with what is tried and true; what is familiar.  Shake things up and make it fun.  Try to eat the rainbow-TOGETHER.  Encouraging your child to eat something blue and healthy is not likely to work if you are turning your nose up at the food.  Parents are a child's most important models-for much longer than we might think.  Do as I say, not as I do does not work. 

A note on grazing.

Grazing when hungry can be a healthy way to eat.  Managing this way of eating is not always easy and not always the best way to work with a picky eater.  Gazing on familiar foods throughout the day will likely not lead to the necessary hunger to motivate a picky eater to sit through dinner and perhaps try something new-they will be satisfied by their snacks.  Waiting too long between meals can backfire by creating a very hungry-very cranky little one; but too much between-meal snacking will not create a good environment for sufficient motivation to eat a meal at the table for those who'd rather be playing.

I'm late, I'm late for a very important...

There is work and school and clubs and sports and meetings and....the list goes on and on.  We may see the ideal as everyone sitting around the dinner table-together-every night of the week.  Achieving that ideal is highly unlikely.  On the go, the same principles apply.  Model moderation in choosing the same familiar "fast" food, provide variety even if it is on the go, focus on the positives to encourage more positives and hold realistic expectations.

Sheryl L. Pipe, PhD

Minding What Matters, Editor

Dakhari Psychological Services Postdoctoral Fellow

Psychology Permit Holder

TP #123-026 

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