The Best Emcee Newsletter
... you’ll read this year month!

Season 2 Episode 5
May Day! May Day!!!
 
Ok, was that April or just a REALLY long February? Well, Summer is knocking on the door and I can’t wait to hang out on our porch and enjoy late sunsets. If you see us out there, stop by.

Please feel free to tell your Mom, or any Mom, one of the jokes below. My Mom was always my best audience. She often told the story of me walking into the bathroom while she was “sitting there’ and asking her to pick a card. And being my Mom, she always did, politely watched my most recent trick, feigned amazement…then asked me to leave.
 
Love you Mom….and thanks,
 
Richard

PS - “Peace begins with a smile.”~ Mother Teresa
Clean Jokes...for Mom
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too." The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS." When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered 'no.' "Then why are you checking it out?" "Because," said the little boy confidently, "I just started collecting moths last week!" 

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked. "I had to slap his face three times!" "You mean he got fresh?" "No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!"

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it." A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Mom." "Martin," she said, "you left your cell phone at the convenience store." 

"My mother always said, don't do something you'll regret later in life. I thought it was great advice. So I had it tattooed to my forehead.” ~ Emo Phillips 
Blog Post:

"Why ‘Bob from Sales’
shouldn’t emcee your meetings!

Location: ACME Corp. Meeting Room

Agenda Item: ACME National Sales & Users Meeting

Boss: Ok, so that all sounds like a good plan. Anything else before we wrap this up?

New employee: Um, have you ever hired a professional emcee to host your meeting?

Boss: Nah, Bob, our VP of Sales always does a good enough job. I’ll tell him he’s doing it again.

Newcomer: Oh, ok. It’s just that when I was at my last company we found a professional really engaged everybody, supported our messaging…and he was really funny too.

Boss: Bob’s funny, right?

(Everyone silently averts their gaze)

Boss: Really? Ok, tell me more. SELL me on it!

(Everyone perks up)

New employee: Well, for one thing, it frees up Bob to do his job and not have to prepare to emcee. It also lets him meet with our users as he’s not in rehearsals, backstage, and all the other things a pro takes care of…

This is the dream I have far too often, employees and people that have moved to new companies telling those in charge that ‘Bob from Sales’ isn’t the right person to emcee their meetings & events. They need a seasoned professional in that role.

As one of those people who ‘does this for a living’ let me give you 5 reasons why an external professional emcee is better than an in-house staff member.

If you've missed any Newsletter issues of jokes, blogs and stuff, simply click:

Richard Laible 

(773) 720 7666  
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