By: Pattie Martin, M.Ed., Director, Select Care Managers; and JFCS Vice President, Community Services

Where should we move Mom and Dad? Should we look for an assisted home or an independent living arrangement? Where do we begin our search?

Are you (or your clients, friends, and family) asking these questions? If so, here are some steps that just might help you help them find their dream home!

1. Begin with a candid conversation with your parents about what their hopes and wishes are for their new home. Brainstorm and welcome all ideas. Make it light, enjoyable and let Mom and Dad talk as much as they want without judging or offering suggestions. Do this before moving is imperative and you are under duress.

2. Figure out what your parents can afford. Making sure what they can afford and how long they can use their funds is very important. Speaking with their bank representative or your financial advisor is most helpful. This is just like looking for a home when you are buying real estate. 

3. Find a senior housing advisor who knows the area and see if they can assist you in finding some sites to visit. There are many professionals, including placement specialists, case managers, care managers, elder law attorneys, and fiduciaries with specialized expertise.   

4. Decide who is going to make appointments to visit homes and let your parents decide who will go with them. It is important that at least one of their children go on the visits to offer support, ask questions that may not be asked, and perhaps even take notes. Watch your parents reactions and comments. If you want to offer input, ask Mom and Dad first to see if they are ready to hear what you have to offer. 

5. At this point, you and your parents may not know exactly what may make them feel comfortable about the homes you visit, so go with an open mind. Your parents may think they want a lot of social engagement but will like a home that is quiet because it has great food and a larger room! Many times, our parents surprise us and fall in love with a home that didn't meet all of their requirements. That's ok and not unusual!