More in a minute.
But first, let me tell you a quick story:
Last week I was chatting with a friend
at a networking meeting in San Jose.
Chatting about being a parent.
She suggested the main benefit of raising
children is to teach us how to care for
our parents as they grow older.
I think she meant that
learning how to
care for someone gives you a life-long
attitude about how to treat people kindly.
Makes sense to you?
Personally I agree, but I doubt this is the
MAIN benefit we get from raising children.
I can think of several more obvious benefits.
Plus a few less obvious benefits. Here's one:
And this probably won't surprise you.
I believe that raising children can help us
learn to plan our wedding and party music.
It's not the only way we learn this, but raising
children teaches us deep person-to-person skills.
I've noticed that most people who've raised children
others kindly and develop satisfying personal
They've learned valuable lessons of kindness,
generosity, compassion, patience, humility,
gratitude, and the capacity for loving.
You know, all those good commandments from
all the world's holy books. Those universal
person-to-person skills that make us civilized.
THESE SKILLS are the key to living successfully.
The key to living effectively anytime, everywhere.
But why do I talk about raising children?
Specifically, why am I asking "
How does raising
The heart of the answer is this: all these
skills for success are about our FEELINGS.
About relying on our emotions to get through
It's not, as I once suspected, about relying on our
great intellect to navigate life's up and downs.
Most experts agree that people usually make
decisions based on emotions. And afterward
we use our logic to justify these decisions.
As though we need to reassure ourselves that
we made the right choices after all.
Want to see this in action? Just look wherever
people need to make a decision.
What evidence, if any, are they using?
What guides their choice?
Feelings or logic?
See what I mean?
You'll find examples everywhere you turn.
And you do it yourself all the time, too:
- What should I plan for dinner tonight?
- What shoes should I wear today?
- Why should you believe what I'm saying?
Examine each choice we make. Nearly every time,
you'll find we make a decision based on our feelings.
And then we come up with an explanation that seems
logical enough to justify it.
It's not our fault. Like it or not, this is how we work:
Heart first, then brains.
So here's that Tip I promised you:
The secret for planning music at any celebration
is targeting the FEELINGS behind the celebration.
And raising children can give us the skills to target
those feelings effectively.
And that's it! Case closed!
Really? Well, of course NOT.
For important decisions, I still believe we need
to guide our choices with some expert advice,
as well as with our emotions.
Let's say you're organizing a special project.
You want to work with some capable people,
eager to make your dreams come true, right?
Inevitably, you'll make your plans based on your
feelings. We all know to expect that by now.
But don't jump in with your feelings alone.
Be smart and gather some expert opinions
to back up your feelings. Ask a pro.
Wherever you can, get advice from experienced
professionals, who've "been there, done that".
So here's why I'm thinking about this:
It won't happen every day but the next time
you're planning music for a wedding or a party,
you can call me.
Based on your intuition, you'll already have
lots of feelings about what music you want.
And I'll be glad to add the voice of experience to
help guide your planning.
Since 1975, I've been playing music nearly every
day. And helping people plan the perfect music
for their celebrations.
Mostly at private events like weddings and parties.
But occasionally at public festivities somewhere
in the San Francisco Bay Area.