Let's look at dating and your goal of a relationship as an anticipated drive from your home to one of our beautiful coasts.
Without a road map, you'd just get in your car and start driving - no directions, no hotel reservations, no idea where gas stations are, no awareness of pitfalls or even potential beautiful sights.
And, with a faulty road map (the one you've used so many times in the past), you'd again be directed to hotel rooms filled with lots of baggage, gas stations that are out of gas or are exorbitantly overpriced, sudden detours, cancelled reservations, and cliff-hangers at each turn.
I do understand you could accidentally stumble upon some new and different good things by going on a journey without a road map.
However, because you and I have dated this way so many times, we know (without a map or with a faulty one) our journey usually (1) contains lots of wrong turns, (2) we'll sometimes feel unsure and unsafe, and (3) discover later (and sadly) that we missed lots of beautiful sights.
And eventually we decide that driving to the coast is hard and complicated, and wonder why we would ever want to do that again. If it happens too many times, we give up.
Is this how your dating experiences have felt?