A colleague of mine recently suggested that I read How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims after a recent group discussion with several Charlotte-area administrators. Our discussion was on the topic of helping our communities see the benefit to allowing a child to fail.  

Yes, you read that sentence correctly. A group of 25+ head of schools were all discussing how to promote the benefits of failure during childhood years.  Now, before you rush too quickly to thinking that this means the upcoming progress reports do not matter, let me share more with you about the idea of failure and growing adults.

The idea of struggle is what is sometimes missing in the development of a child. Sometimes they need the space to work through things on their own. When they don't, they have a difficult time learning to problem solve well. Whether that is struggle in forgotten homework, a misplaced lunchbox, a broken friendship, or playing time on a sports team, if they don't have the opportunity to work through this as part of a healthy childhood development, they don't learn to be resilient and confident in their own abilities.

 

Building this resilience in our kids will be important for them to develop into healthy, confident adults. I am thankful for a school community that understands that kids will make mistakes and provides the support needed to help problem solve and grow in confidence. Lythcott-Haims shares in her book: 

"Childhood is the training ground where mistakes are made, lessons are learned, and competencies including coping skills and resilience are developed. Deciding to allow our kids to have those essential experiences - to flail, fail, and fall - isn't just a good way to help them learn and grown, it's the best way. Mistakes can be life's greatest teacher."

 

I encourage you to consider reading this excellent book and joining us later this spring for a lunch and learn to dive in deeper together on this topic.