"Manners are a sensitive awareness to the feelings of others.
If you have that awareness, it doesn't matter what fork you use."

Greetings!

We hope you enjoyed a wonderful holiday season and are as excited for 2017 as we are! The past few months at the Emily Post Institute have brought on many changes, but we are so excited to be moving forward! We are proud to announce that our Awesome Etiquette podcast is now produced by The Emily Post Institute - we've gone independent! We hope that you will join us and subscribe - it's free! Here are some new links to help you find the Awesome Etiquette podcast:
(please remember to sign into Google - otherwise you cannot find the podcast)

We look forward to having you join the conversation and hope you'll send us your questions, feedback, and etiquette salutes that make our show possible.

We are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Dan and Puja's first baby - a little girl! We promise to update you as soon as she is born! Dan and Puja would like to thank all of you from our larger Emily Post family who have sent your well wishes and baby name suggestions. It's an exciting time for sure!

In this month's newsletter we decided to delve into the "meeting of the parents". Many couples get engaged over the holidays. Once the initial news has spread to close family, it's time for parents to meet (if possible). While it's a wonderful time in a couple's life, it's also a time that deserves a little care when it comes to organizing such a meeting.

As always, we encourage you to write in with your thoughts and questions! You can submit your question or comment to newsletter@emilypost.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

From our house to yours, we wish you a lovely January!

A student writes in unsure of how to handle a professor who signs his emails with his first name, but who hasn't given permission in person for the student to call him by his first name. What's a student to do?

Also mentioned:
  • What's the deal with spoons?
  • What should you do if your guest finds a hair in their food?
  • How to communicate your birth boundaries to your parents.
  • A postscript segment from Margaret Visser's The Rituals of Dinner
  • A salute from Hope on the difference a hello makes.

  

 

You can submit your questions, comments or salutes any time at 800-866-0868 or  awesomeetiquette@emilypost.com.
Join the Awesome Etiquette conversation on Facebook:  www.facebook.com/awesomeetiquette.

EARLY BIRD DISCOUNTS ENDING SOON FOR:

Business Etiquette Train the Trainer

Come join the Posts for a one-week, intensive training course where you'll learn how to teach Emily Post Business Etiquette programs. Whether you're starting your own etiquette business, brushing up your skills or looking to train within your company, you'll learn exactly why Emily Post etiquette makes all the difference in the world of business.
Training Dates: April 24 - 28, 2017
10% Early Bird Discount Deadline: January 31, 2017 

If you're a wedding professional, then you know that etiquette plays a huge role planning a wedding and managing your clients' expectations about their big day. Having an etiquette foundation to stand on and operate from is an asset any wedding or event planner should feel confident about. Please join Lizzie Post and Tricia Post for a one-day intensive course on Wedding Etiquette!
Training Date: April 29, 2017
10% Early Bird Discount Deadline: January 31, 2017



We hope to see you there! 




  • Does your office mate have an annoying habit? 
  • Do you get overwhelmed at the thought of attending a business mixer? 
  • Are you unsure about when to talk business at a business meal?
  • Should you call a contact you've never met in person by their first name?
We're inviting you to take our updated and expanded Business Etiquette for Professionals eLearning program. We've put our best into refining, improving, and expanding our flagship program, and we're excited to share it with you!


Over the course of 12 lessons, you'll learn why your business etiquette skills can make you an asset to your company. You'll discover how the three principles of etiquette and the five-step method for solving problems create a foundation for you to know what to do when there is no specific manner. You'll get trusted advice on topics such as written communications, phone etiquette, workplace manners, professional image, social media, dining etiquette, and much more. Please join us!


    ENGAGEMENTS - GETTING FAMILIES TOGETHER


 

  
We've talked many times in this newsletter about the holidays being a time for engagements, and it makes sense. Families are often all together, or couples choose to spend holidays in a sentimental place together. Both situations are ripe for taking big steps and celebrating them with family and friends. But what about when it comes time to have your families meet?

A wedding isn't just the joining of two people; it's also the joining of two families. Sometimes it's the joining of two cultures or two religions as well. The purpose of much wedding etiquette is to provide a framework for the two families to interact and get to know each other without causing offense - a tall order! It's not to create hard and fast rules, but instead to suggest traditional and contemporary guidelines.

For generations, formal etiquette assigned hosting duties of the first parent meeting to the groom's family. It was presumed that the marrying couple were too young to know the social obligations associated with this level and type of entertaining, so to be safe, the parents ran the show. This was also the first or second introduction for most of these young couples to the world of adult entertaining so there was much to learn and absorb along the way.

Today, engaged couples are usually perfectly capable of arranging and facilitating a meeting between their respective parents if they don't already know each other.

Traditionally the groom's parents reached out to the bride's parents soon after they've all learned of the engagement. Today it doesn't really matter who makes the first move. If you're the parents of the bride, give the groom's parents a few days to honor the tradition. The key here is that the parents get in touch with each other in the spirit of friendship, so this isn't the time to stand on ceremony.

Whichever set takes the initiative, a phone call or an email is a good way to introduce yourselves and set up a date to meet with the "kids" to celebrate the good news. Even if it's not possible for the parents to get together at this point, aim to establish a line of communication so that when planning questions arise, you feel comfortable calling each other.

The engaged couple can also smooth the way and help parents get the ball rolling by arranging and hosting the first parental get-together themselves.

As with all invitations, the person doing the inviting does the hosting and paying. So if the groom's parents invite the bride's parents to Sunday brunch, the groom's parents pick up the tab, and vice versa. Hosting at home is a great option, if possible, because it removes the "who pays" awkwardness from that first meeting.

The bride and groom are in the best position to know what kind of gathering is most likely to put everyone else at ease. A casual event, such as a barbecue or a casual dinner, is often most comfortable. But if one set of parents has a more formal lifestyle than the other, a good compromise might be a dinner or weekend brunch at a nice mid-range restaurant.

The couple is also likely to know how to manage their family dynamics. If parents are divorced and not amicable, arrange separate meetings with each set of parents so that everyone involved has a chance to meet. Don't force divorced parents into social situations that have the potential to make them - and others - feel uncomfortable. It's one thing to invite them all to a large event, but quite another to gather less than friendly parent sets in a small space together with no one else as a buffer. As much as you may want to have your parents put aside grievances in honor of your wedding, it may be too much to hope for. By thinking about the realities of these relationships you can best determine what will be most considerate and respectful for all involved.
 
For more information on manners for the holidays, check out Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 6th Edition or visit www.emilypost.com.  

THE WELL-MANNERED WEDDING ARCHIVE

Read Peggy Post's thoughts on today's most nuanced wedding dilemmas in the archive of her New York Times column.


Tone of Voice
 
Lizzie Post talks about tone of voice and how it can make all the difference in your interactions.

Check out this video and more from our Etiquette Bites series here:  Etiquette Bites.


IDEAS ON PINTEREST | Visit our boards. Get inspired.



After all the parties and gifts, January is the perfect month to be sending out thank-you cards and good wishes to friends and family. Get inspired by our Notes and Stationery Pinterest board to get ideas for your correspondence. And check out all our Pinterest boards for ideas and inspiration in your life!
EMILY POST & ETIQUETTE IN THE NEWS  


Please visit our contact page to reach us, or you can find us on Facebook and Twitter. We love hearing from you, so feel free to post to our social media and join in the conversation. We may not always be able to respond, but we read every question and comment. From our family to yours we hope you have a wonderful month! As always, thank you for your continued interest in etiquette and The Emily Post Institute.      

Sincerely,

The Posts


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