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Influence of Your Family of Origin

          July, 2018

Quote of the month  

" We all carry inside us, 
people who 
came before us."

by Liam Callanan, American author and professor.

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Qualifications

Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University

 

Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University

 

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

 

Private Practice 

since 2008

 

Married 29 years

 

Mother of 2 young adult daughters 

 

Passionate about 

what I do

 

 

Most of us have a general idea where we come from. We know our blue eyes came from Mom and that Dad gave us the height and stature we have. Did you know that there is a huge benefit to learning about our family history from a personality and emotional standpoint? By learning how family members of the past have handled certain situations and what worked vs what did not work, we can learn to either repeat a positive history (Dad handled stress by working out) or have the ability to alter a negative history (Grandma and Mom both suffer from depression.  Does that mean I suffer in the same way?).

Read below about some conversations to have with older relatives to possibly avoid repeating some mistakes and creating a much brighter future for yourself and any dependents that may come along.

Please pass along to family and friends who may be interested in the monthly content of this newsletter. Creating a web of knowledge helps those in need.
   
Sincerely,
   
Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT
305 Miron Drive 
Southlake, TX 76092
817-876-9958   
 
Missed previous newsletters??
Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....
  
From The Positive Perspective......    
 
For every client that I see, I draw myself a family tree or genogram of who is in their family. For example, Mom is 45, has some depression and had a life-threatening illness at the age of 14. Dad is 47, moved to this country at the age of 11 and had to learn a whole new way of life. How much do you know about past relatives? Learning what major challenges they experienced and how they overcame them, can help you with overcoming some of your own challenges. Learning about major family achievements can be very rewarding as well.

Engage in these conversations NOW, before it is too late and the information is lost forever. Doing some of my own family research, I discovered I had a family member who was an inventor and is on the official patents for the meat slicer and the modern rotating cement mixer. Entrepreneurship and creativity is a part of my lineage. What could be a part of your lineage? Where did your love for cooking come from? Where did your struggle with addiction come from? Was it a family secret or does your family share quite easily?
 
Be prepared, though, if a family member does not choose to share something. Bringing up the stories of how someone died or a major tragedy in someone's life can be difficult. Respect what information is willing to be shared.

Also, different relatives may recall the same incident but with varying details, either because of their age at the time or how close they were to the situation. Document what you can. Talk to several relatives. Share your knowledge. You might even make a few new acquaintances in another country during your research.

Ask relatives about behaviors too. Who was an introvert? Extrovert? Class president? Who took charge of situations and who followed the crowd? What talents and occupations did your relatives have? How did your relatives pass away? Discovering the major medical issues of your family's past is extremely helpful as well.

To see an example of a genogram or family tree, search on Google Images for many examples.  Create the structure that works for you.

Enjoy your adventure in family history. I encourage you to take that information and use it to live a full and wonderful life. What would you like to be put on the family tree about you? Are you fulfilling that legacy? If not, maybe I can help. Connect with me through my website,
www.dabalmft.com  and let's work together to create your part of the family tree in a positive way.

Happy 4th of July everyone!!  Have fun and be safe.  Living in this country is a privilege that I am thankful for every day.  
 
Until next time.....look at life and your inspirations 
From The Positive Perspective.

Stay well.
    
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I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com .  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...