STU'S SUPERIOR FLY LIFE & DIRTY JOKES.
My new box on wheels home.
Sometimes in life I feel I am going backwards, though maybe it's secretly forwards?. I now live in this room on wheels,have a porta-loo toilet out side, A yeti cooler out side as my fridge and a barrel full of water to wash myself with. At least it is not a large place for Trigger (security )to guard. I have sold my old property and now I am online only with my flies and other bits.  For the past years I have been working on this new piece of land for the future of things. More so for NZ fly fishing schools and my new home with a creative working area.
Cheers Stu.
Stu's Superior Flies go International.
 It great to get some photos from around the world of where my flies are being used and this place, tried to ban them as they were depleting the salmon stocks.
Lucky for me fish and game NZ have allowed my fly designs to be used through out NZ, though only" catch and release waters ". That's how effective the flies are. In fact I have been catching so many fish using them. I may buy some crap ones, to stop the depletion of NZ trout.
Cheers Stu - Boring old man,wishing he was young.
Trigger - Wishing she was a cat.
               YOU CAN NOW LOOK SEXY
       JOKES -  NOT FOR SPIN/BAIT FISHERMEN
WARNING

A WEE JOKE . "Do not read if you are easily offended, like my Mum."


A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he is being watched by a midget.

Although the little fellow is staring at him intently,the guy doesn't get uncomfortable entitle midget drags a small stepladder up next to him,climbs it and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.

"WOW" comments the midget, "those are the nicest balls i have ever seen!"

Surprised and flattered,the man thanks the midget and starts to move away."listen,I know this is a rather strange request" says the little fellow,"but i wonder if you would mind if i touched them?"

 Again the man is rather startled but seeing no real harm in it,he obliges the request.

The midget reaches out,gets a tight grip on the mans balls and says "Okay,hand me your wallet or i,ll jump off the leader!"

Some times small places can still provide inspiration. With no TV for 10 years what else is there to do!.  I managed to finish two fly designs that I had been playing with for years in my new room on wheels. On the right is my new kitchen. 
 
 
WARNING
 
ANOTHER WEE JOKE . "Do not read if you are easily offended, like my neighbor's."

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.

One is a retired golfer and the other is a gorgeous blonde. The circus owner tells them "i,m not going to sugar coat it.

This is one ferocious lion.He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or your history.

Here's your equipment - chair,a whip and a gun.

"Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says"i,ll go first."

She walks past the chair,the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.
The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.

About half way there,she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in its tracks,then sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles.

He continues to lick her entire body for a few minutes and then rest his head at her feet. The circus owner's jaw is on the floor.

He says "i,ve never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks "can you top that ?".

 The tough old guy replies "No problem,just get that lion out of there."


 
An amazing river system and nice story. 
 
                              COOL SHIT
 
TRUE STORY.

The other year I was helping my neighbor in a new town find his new lawyers office for some legal land issues.

As he was driving he passed me his mobile and got Siri on the phone and I had to ask for directions.

Which seemed easy though with my Scottish accent  Siri (the hidden small person in the phone)could not understand my requests and was giving me all sorts of suggestions.

The very last time I tried. When I asked yet again for the lawyers address. Siri started to chant"Liar Liar your pants are on fire" "Liar Lair your pants are on fire". I'll be honest i did get frustrated and swore at his phone and the Siri person inside.

Lucky My neighbor Super Kev could speak real proper English and pulled over with tears of laughter rolling down his face and asked once and got the correct directions.Which made my face a little more red.

So I personally  understand how these guys felt in this film clip. Boy did i laugh watching this . Enjoy.

This film clip is so true.
This film clip is so true.
                        
                            NEW FOR 2017      A DEED FLEE
nzblowfly fishing fly
A BIT OF THE HISTORY OF" A DEED FLEE"

In England they say, "look! a dead fly"
In Scotland they say "look! a deed flee"

Black flies land on the water all the time all over the world and lay dead on the surface for some time and all fish love to eat them. Here is the answer you have been looking for.

Years of back and forth ideas to perfect this one and here it is.

Tied on a very sharp, strong yet light wire ,wide gape black  size 12 Gamakatsu hook(not just any hook- the best for the job) for more hook ups, plus it looks sexy. You will catch more fish.

Designed to land the right way up every time,It is very easy to see, with spent glistening wings coming out each side of its foam buoyant body, soon to become your favorite go to fish catching fly.

Also a great fly to fish with a small size 18 hot hog nymph suspended below on a foot or so of  tine tippet material.

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