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Our Fathers, Our Heroes
Because fathers have a special role in their children's lives, they also have a remarkable opportunity to share lessons that can influence and impact their sons and daughters in significant and enduring ways.
This month URR encourage fathers in Saginaw County and beyond to have substantive conversations with their sons and daughters, not only about the perils and drugs and alcohol, or the importance of education, but about what it means to have healthy relationships.
Data from a NO MORE survey, sponsored by the Avon Foundation for Women, shows that many fathers have been virtually silent on this topic. Three out of four men nationwide say they have not talked about domestic violence or sexual assault with their children. Yet, in most cases, fathers are the first role model for sons about how to treat a partner, and the first role model for daughters about how they deserve to be treated.
Because these topics can be uncomfortable, it can be difficult to know where to begin the dialogue. Here are some resources that may help get the conversation started:
And once we're talking, let's keep it going! Conversations about healthy relationships should extend to the community too - with leaders in business and government, and with the educational system so boys can be taught in the developmental stages that a real man is never violent.
Dads have a strong voice! Let's say - free of ambiguity and hesitation - that violence and abuse, power and control, are never acceptable. Let your children hear directly from you that healthy relationships must be a priority.
This Father's Day can be remembered as the day when Saginaw County fathers came together to reduce domestic and sexual violence to an anomaly, not an everyday occurrence. Together, fathers can articulate NO MORE through conversations started, voices raised, and actions taken. By doing so, this will truly be a Father's Day worthy of every father and every child because the greatest gift we can offer our children on their fathers' day is the ability to foster healthy relationships built on respect.
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Why Should Men Care?
Because Men Know Survivors...
At some point in every man's life, someone close to him will likely disclose that they are a survivor of abuse. Men must be prepared to respond with sensitivity, compassion, and understanding. A supportive male presence during a survivor's recovery can be invaluable.
Because Men Are Survivors...
Men are not immune to the epidemic of domestic and sexual violence. Nor are male survivors safe from the stigma that society attaches to male victims. When reporting abuse, male survivors are often doubted, blamed for their own victimization, or have their masculinity challenged. Frequently they respond, as do many female survivors, by remaining silent and suffering alone.
Because Abuse Confines Men...
Because most of the violence against women is perpetrated by men, it becomes virtually impossible for women to distinguish "safe guys" from men who are dangerous - even though most men will NEVER hurt a partner. As a result, relationships with men are often approached with fear and mistrust. Intimacy is limited by the constant fear of violence.
Because Men Can Stop Abuse...
Abuse is used as a weapon for power and control. For abuse to stop, men must be empowered to make different choices. All men can play a vital role in in this process by challenging attitudes and behaviors that support abuse, and by raising awareness about its damaging impact.
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What Can Men Do?
Adapated from Men Can Stop Rape: Creating A Culture Free From Violence
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Define Your Manhood
Consider how common
messages like "don't take no
for an answer" play a role in creating unhealthy and unsafe relationships. Choose what
kind of man you want to be.
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Pledge to be a Man of Strength
Abuse comes in many forms - physical, emotional, mental,
and sexual.
Pledge to be a man whose
strength is used for respect,
not for hurting others.
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Choose Your Words Carefully
When you put down women,
you support the belief that
they are
less than human.
It is easier to
ignore a
woman's decisions
or
well-being
if she's seen as
inferior. Choose respectful language
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Take a Different Perspective
Ask a woman you know - how often
and in what situation has she feared
a man. How has this affected her
daily life? Does she know someone who's been abused? Listen and learn. Or ask a male friend - how would it feel to be viewed as an abuser. How would he feel if a woman in his life was a victim of abuse?
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Support Survivors of Abuse
Abuse will not be taken seriously
until everyone knows how common
and serious it is. By learning to sensitively support survivors in
their lives, men can help both women and other men feel safer to speak out about being abused, and let the world know what a serious problem it is.
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Stand Up for What's Right
You may never see domestic
or sexual violence in progress,
but you will hear attitudes
and see behaviors that
degrade women and promote a
culture of violence. When your friend tells a joke about domestic or sexual violence, let him know it's not funny.
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Look at Pop Culture Messages
Daily, we are surrounded by movies, TV shows, music, magazines and video games that sometimes communicate harmful messages about masculinity and relationships. Ask how images in popular culture affect how you view yourself and women.
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Talk it Over
Don't feel embarrassed to talk
to
your partner about your rights and responsibilities in the relationship. Create a safe space to speak honestly about your expectations, and listen openly to your partner.
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Volunteer or Get Involved!
Join or donate to an
organization
working to prevent violence
against women. These organizations
count
on
donations for their
survival,
and always need volunteers
to keep things running smoothly.
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UPCOMING EVENTS
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URR's
Wine & Fashion Pairing Event
returns June 4, 2015! Sample wines from Blackstar Farms Winery while viewing the latest fashionable threads from Frankenmuth RiverPlace Shops.
Come alone or make it a girls' night out!
Shop at any of the following stores the evening of the event,
and 10% of your purchase will be donated back to URR:
Emilie B's, Calla Lilies, Amy's Accessories, & Let's Talk Girl Talk.
Date: Thursday, June 4, 2015
Time: Wine Sampling 5 p.m. - 8 p.m.
Fashion Show 6 p.m.
Location: Frankenmuth RiverPlace Shops
Fee: $20 in advance or $25 at the door
Ticket Includes: 5 wine samples, souvenir glass, coupon for a free gift
Contact URR's Administrative Offices
at 989-399-0007 to purchase tickets or for more information
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We're Raffling Off a Dream Destination!
Tickets are only $20, and can be purchased by calling URR's Administrative Offices at
399-0007 ext. 100. The winner will be chosen September 11, and gets to pick from three amazing locations!
Napa Valley Cult Winemakers
This Experience Includes:
- Private VIP tours and tastings at Fantesca Estate & Winery, Gemstone Vineyard, and Corra Wines
- 1 souvenir barrel head signed by all 3 cult winemakers
- 8 consecutive hours chauffeured luxury sedan service
- 3-night stay in a classic king room at the Andaz Napa Hotel in downtown Napa
- Round-trip coach class airfare for 2 from within the 48 contiguous U.S. to San Francisco or Oakland, CA
- Winspire booking & concierge service
This Experience Includes:
- $1,025 in Disney gift cards redeemable for admission, food, souvenirs and more
- 4-night stay in ONE standard guest room at the Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress
- Round-trip coach class airfare for 4 from within the 48 contiguous U.S. to Orlando, FL
- Winspire booking & concierge service
Cancun
This Experience Includes:
- 5-night stay in standard king or double junior suite for 2 at the adults-only all-inclusive Hyatt Zilara Cancun Resort
- Round-trip coach class airfare from the 48 contiguous U.S. to Cancun, Mexico
- Winspire booking & concierge service
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Save the Date for Walk 'n' Roll 2015!
Enjoy a day of family and pet-friendly events in beautiful Downtown Frankenmuth!
Events include a fun run & walk, doggie tattoos, a K-9 caricature artist, games, and more!
Date: Saturday, October 3, 2015
Time: Events begin at 10 a.m. Walk begins at 1 p.m.
Location: Frankenmuth RiverPlace Shops
Fee: $20 in advance or $25 at the door
(additional events may be extra)
Ticket Includes: Free t-shirt and goodie bag
For more information or to register
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Visit Us at Barnes & Noble This Summer!
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Under the Rainbow Resale Shop
Profits stay in our community!
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5647 State Street, Suite B
Monday - Saturday
10:00am - 7:00 pm
In-kind donations of clothing and household goods first help victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, and trafficking in our community. Revenue from surplus donations provides funding for programs and services provided at URR.
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It's Garage Sale Season!
Do you have items that didn't sell, but still need to go? Consider donating them to
Under the Rainbow Resale Shop!
Donations are accepted Monday-Saturday from 10am-5pm
We Accept:
Gently used clothing, accessories & shoes
(for men, women and children)
Gently used furniture
Linens and rugs
Lamps, electronics, appliances in working order
Musical instruments
Baby toys and items
Books, vinyls, tapes, videos, CDs and DVDs
Toys, games, and puzzles
Gently used housewares
Personal hygiene items for shelter clients
Diapers and baby wipes for shelter clients
We Cannot Accept:
Used mattresses and box springs
Cribs
Carseats
Carpet and carpet padding
Encyclopedias
Paint, chemicals, hazardous waste, propane tanks
Waterbeds
Guns, firearms, ammunition
Organs
Torn or stained furniture
Broken or damaged items or electronics
TVs or PC monitors except for flat, thin, panels
Entertainment centers
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Stay Connected
5647 State St., Ste. A Saginaw, MI 48603
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