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50 Shades of Conversation

 March, 2015

Quote of the month

"You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can 

have an 

impact on 

a life" 


by Zig Ziglar, American author 

and motivational speaker.


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I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.


Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University


Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist


Private Practice 

since 2008


Married 26 years


Mother of 2 young adult daughters 


Passionate about 

what I do




With all the media hype about the recently released movie,  50 Shades of Grey , I have heard many opinions on whether to see it or not, whether to support that movie and its content or whether to disregard it in its entirety.  My suggestion is to take this opportunity, yes I said "opportunity", and use it for the positive.  What do I mean by that?  Read some suggestions below on useful ways to take this current movie theme and put a positive spin on its impact on your life and those around you.

As always, please pass along this newsletter to anyone you feel may benefit from it's content.



Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT

305 Miron Drive   ** New Location **

Southlake, TX 76092




Missed previous newsletters??

Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....


From The Positive Perspective......
  • Talk to your teenage or older-aged kids about the movie topic, age appropriately of course, and use it as a time to discuss what a "healthy" relationship looks like. 
    Tell them about the healthy relationship you hopefully have with their other parent.  If you don't have a healthy relationship with that other parent or you don't want your kids doing what you are currently doing, consider getting help to make some changes.  Kids learn and pass on to future generations what they see their parents do, not just what their parents say.  If you are a parent, please take that responsibility seriously. You are molding the next generation.
  • Talk to young people about making sure they realize they always have a choice in what activities they participate in.  I see it all too often in my office that, teenagers especially, don't always know they have that choice.  I hear it over and over again that no one told them they could say "no" to something.  It's a simple concept that gets overlooked.
  • Think about your own life and the choices you have made.  Maybe you have never been invited into a red room like in 50 Shades, but have you been lured into other things you are not sure about?  Do you know enough about yourself to make the best choice for you?  Are you strong enough and confident enough in who you are now to make good choices?  Would you make the same choice that you made back then?  Are there any decisions that you would change?  Learn from the experiences and make good choices moving forward.  Are you helping young people around you to do the same thing?
  • In your relationships with other adults, consider your role and if you would describe it as passive, assertive or aggressive.  Being passive, you generally see the other person's needs as more important than your own and rarely feel satisfied yourself.  Being aggressive, you generally see your needs as more important than the other person's, and most often feel satisfied in the relationship but don't put too much effort into caring about the other person.  Being assertive, you generally feel that both individuals' needs are important and that while you do your best to help satisfy the other person, you will ask for what you need as well and realize pretty quickly if that other person is willing to help you be satisfied.  What type of relationships are you in and what role do you play? An assertive style relationship is the healthiest by far.
  • The unknown can be pretty scary, no matter your age. In 50 Shades, Anastasia is drawn into another world unlike anything she has ever known.  She was presented with a contract spelling out what was expected of her and she was given a choice whether or not to participate.  Think about your current life situations.  Do you investigate situations where there are a lot of unknowns, for example, a new boyfriend's or girlfriend's background and family before you get serious? Do you research a company you may want to work for to be sure they match with your philosophy or work ethic before you go on the interview?  Do you fully research an area where you may want to move to be sure the town provides for all your needs?Reducing the unknowns can lessen anxiety in most situations and help you to make better informed decisions. This process can also save you time in the long run.

While there are many, many other topics associated with this movie that we could touch on, I hope I have given you a few things to think about that could help you make some positive changes in life, either for you or for those around you. Thank you for taking the time to look at this topic ....

From The Positive Perspective.


Stay well.


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I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com .  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...