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Trust  Part 1

 May, 2012

Quote of the month


"Trust yourself. Create the kind 

of self that you 

will be happy to live with all 

your life. 

Make the most 

of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility 

into flames 

of achievement."  by Golda Meir.


My Services
Pre-Marital Counseling
Certified Prepare/Enrich Program Facilitator
Marital Counseling
Infidelity Issues
Self-Esteem Support
Problem-Solving Support
Renew Marital Excitement
Family counseling

Divorce Support
Collaborative Law Communications Facilitator
Redefining Life Purpose
Grief/Loss Support


I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.


Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University


Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist


Private Practice 

since 2008


NJ work experience totaling 5 years


Married 23 years


Mother of 2 teenage daughters 


Lived in Indiana, 

New Jersey and Texas


Passionate about 

what I do




If this is the first newsletter you are receiving, welcome.  There have been many additions to my email list since the last transmittal and I thank you all for showing an interest in the material I share.  I also thank the loyal followers who have been on this journey with me, whether it has been since the first newsletter or the last one or anywhere in between.  I value feedback and encourage you to please pass the information on to someone who may benefit from its content.


Enjoy this first reflection on the topic of trust.  There was too much to mention in one newsletter so I decided to split the topic into two parts.  May it inspire you to examine your own values regarding trust and give you the strength to change what does not currently work well in your life.



Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT

Southlake Counseling & Neurofeedback Center

420 North Carroll Ave Suite 140

Southlake, TX 76092




Missed previous newsletters??

Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....


From The Positive Perspective.......


Some of us are raised in an environment where we are taught to trust and others are not.  Depending on our parent's experiences, they will choose how to raise the next generation regarding this subject.  Our only job as a child at that point is to absorb and learn what we can regarding trust and as we get older, to determine for ourselves where we fit on the continuum of trust.  Our experiences as a child and adolescent truly do shape how we behave as an adult.


Can adult experiences change that perspective we had as a child?  Sure.  The adult who has been trusting all his life who suddenly finds out his spouse is having an affair.  The adult who has helped others his entire life discovers that his best friend has embezzled money from him over and over again.  Trust in others can change from being there to not being there in an instant.  But can it change the other way around in an instant?  That one is not so easy.


Trust takes time to build or rebuild.  Good, honest and deep trust that is. Whether you are rebuilding a relationship with a family member or a friend or with yourself, you need to have patience with the process.  Trust can be rebuilt in many circumstances if you have two willing parties who desire that as the end result.  If you are working to restore trust or confidence in yourself, you have to be able to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth taking the time to make that happen. 


One key to rebuilding trust in a relationship is to create circumstances where that trust is tested and acknowledge that success has occurred.  The person who has gone outside the marriage needs to give the injured party full disclosure.  Each time the injured party finds that their spouse is telling the truth, they are building new memories of the trust being there.  Each time a parent drives by a location where their teenager has said they were going to be and the car is actually parked there (yes, I am guilty of that one)...trust is being built/rebuilt.  Each time you test yourself to see if you can say no to that friend who is not a good influence on you...trust is being rebuilt. 


Each memory you create may not be perfect and there surely will be mistakes along the way, but ask yourself, am I more confident in my abilities today than I was last week? If you are, then celebrate.  If you are not, then break down the moments of the week to see what happened and learn from it so that next time you can create a better ending. Question if you have more hope for your relationship this week than you did last week.  If you do, then how did that happen?  Acknowledge what was different and better and build on it.


That's enough to absorb regarding trust for now.  Part 2 on trust will be coming out next month. 


For all the Mom's out there.......have a wonderful day on the 13th.  As a Mom myself, I value the opportunity to be a role model for my daughters and to show them that trust can be part of a relationship, but it is truly something that needs to be earned. 


To my Mom:  I thank you for all the encouragement you have given me since my life began.  You always told me I could be anything I wanted to be, but in order to be happy, I had to be sure I had passion for what I was doing.  I now get to live that passion every day in the work that I do.  

Thank you!!!


Keep in mind that it helps to look at life's issues 

From The Positive Perspective......


I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com.  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...