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Mother's Day is a Joke
Let's cut to the chase. There are at least 15,000 Moms reading this who don't need a special day to honor their sacrifice. In fact, for many of you, it's an affront. Because you'll wake up Monday and the same pattern will repeat in perpetuity: Mom taken for granted, feeling responsible to manage everyone's happiness, exhausted, resentful.
Know how I know this? Because this is how I treated my wife for years. I showed up for one day, did my duty, and then reverted to emotionally ignoring her. And you know what's just as bad? She allowed it to continue year after year. Because that's what we do here in America. We pretend everything's okay when it's not. We put on the happy face and inside seethe with pain and anger.
Some people won't like this brought up so bluntly, nor will they like the title of this message. Too bad. I am tired of seeing so many Moms and families suffering. And just sending a nice Mother's Day message won't change a thing. This is what will.
1) Moms, you must demonstrate self-respect. During the other 364 days of the year, you MUST learn to take care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually first. NO ONE else is going to make you a priority if YOU don't make yourself a priority. NO ONE else is going to respect you unless YOU show self-respect. If you don't take care of yourself, your kids will have to manage you--and you will become resentful. 2) Don't allow yourself to become only "Momofthree@aol.com". You are an individual with unique gifts, talents and passions that make you complete. Instead of running your kids everywhere, your kids need to see you going to Book Club, taking a college class, reading a book or pursuing your passions just like they pursue theirs. What are your passions? Your gifts that bring you contentment and joy? Don't put them in a drawer somewhere. Use them. Being a Mom is the highest calling there is. But you are not only a Mom.
3) Expect More. If you settle for the flowers and lunch after church, then you are telling your husband and kids that's all you expect and need. Yeah, this is hard! But you must be assertive. Since we've been doing BootCamp, we've been spending 50% of the time on this. You need to be very clear about your needs and expectations.
What are you willing to do different so you have different results? Bottom line: you need to take action. Some of you need to go through BootCamp with your spouse so we can get you on the same page. Others need the daily reinforcement and step-by-step mentoring on the CDs. But you have to take action. So that every day is Mother's Day. See below for your options.
I believe in you. Kirk
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