"Manners are a sensitive awareness to the feelings of others.
If you have that awareness, it doesn't matter what fork you use."

Greetings!

We hope this fall is treating you well! With our United States presidential election around the corner we hope tensions aren't running too high these next two weeks and that conversations both with those who are in your camp and those who are not are focused on the exchange of opinions and ideas in a positive manner.

Dan and Lizzie have been working on the launch of the new version of our Business Etiquette for Professionals E-Learning program. We are thrilled to be offering this updated version of our signature e-learning product. We invite you to take the program and we welcome any feedback that you have. Please see below for an introductory discount offer!

Lizzie will be hosting our Wedding Etiquette for Professionals program, which takes place on November 5th, in Burlington, Vermont. The program is a chance for wedding and event professionals to take a deeper dive into wedding etiquette and learn skills that will aid in handling difficult clients and sticky situations. Please use this link for more information and to sign up if you'd like to join us! 

We hope that everyone enjoys a fun and safe Halloween and that preparations for the upcoming holiday season are excitedly underway! We'd love to hear about what you are planning for your Thanksgiving and holiday celebrations and we invite you to reach out to us on social media and share your table settings, recipes, and best hosting tips so that we may all benefit from our collective years of holiday hosting!

Please feel encouraged to write in and send your thoughts and questions to us to help us make this newsletter exactly what you want it to be! You can submit your question or comment to newsletter@emilypost.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
NEW
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE FOR PROFESSIONALS E-LEARNING PROGRAM
AVAILABLE NOW!



  • Have you ever wondered how you should answer the phone at work? 
  • Do you get butterflies at the thought of attending a business mixer? 
  • Are you unsure when to talk business at a business meal?
  • Do you know someone who could use a business etiquette brush up?
We're inviting you to take our updated and expanded Business Etiquette for Professionals E-Learning program. We've put our best into refining, improving, and expanding our flagship program, and we're excited to share it with you!


Over the course of 12 lessons, you'll learn why your business etiquette skills can make you an asset to your company. You'll discover how the three principles of etiquette and the five-step method for solving problems create a foundation for you to know what to do when there is no specific manner. You'll get trusted advice on topics such as written communications, phone etiquette, workplace manners, professional image, social media, dining etiquette, and much more. Please join us!


Sometimes a mother and son with polar opposite political views can work it out by agreeing not to discuss them. But what happens when the mother violates that agreement by posting her strident opinions on her son's Facebook wall? And how should the son respond when his 'etiquettely correct' protests lead to further estrangement?
Lizzie and Dan come to the rescue in an extended
conversation with the son's girlfriend.
Also mentioned:
  • Vacation home cleaning responsibilities.
  • New neighbor etiquette.
  • Sharing expenses after bowing out of an event.
  • Baby shower hosting burdens.
  • Email etiquette in transition.

Awesome Etiquette wants to hear from you!
The "Awesome Etiquette" podcast, hosted by Dan and Lizzie is looking to hear from you! So give us a shout. Send in your etiquette questions, awesome etiquette salutes, etiquette confessions, or any suggested topics you'd like to hear about on the podcast to  awesomeetiquette@emilypost.com. You can also post questions to our Facebook or Twitter page using #AwesomeEtiquette, so we know you want your question answered on the show!

And don't forget to subscribe via iTunes - IT'S FREE!

Awesome Etiquette is a part of The Infinite Guest Network from American Public Media.

Business: Business Casual Attire        



Dear Emily Post Institute,

What is business casual dress for offices in the USA?

How do you convince young employees that body piercing, tattoos, leggings, green nail polish, denim is not appropriate (if it is considered inappropriate) in the professional office (architects, banks, healthcare, educational institutions, and media) when they are bombarded with magazines, commercials, athletes, movie stars, national news anchors, who are wearing the above at work?

Thank you and kindest regards,

Margaret Ann

Dear Margaret Ann,

It is certainly difficult for young employees to get the right idea about appropriate work attire when both the media portrayal of work clothing (especially on television and in movies) always skews toward tight, revealing, and vibrant and our American culture has become more casual with its attire in general. Many companies have casual attire policies (or no policy at all) today when  50-60 years ago the same company would have been a place where suits were the norm without question. We currently have four generations all together in the work place, and they have a wide range of experiences and expectations when it comes to "work attire." No wonder you end up with suits at the creative loft and green nail polish at the conservative firm.

It's important for companies to ensure that when new employees start work that they are aware of the expectations for attire and that those expectations are clearly spelled out. If this hasn't been done from the start, companies can take an active approach by deciding to make a policy and announce it. Many companies periodically reinforce or remind employees about what counts as appropriate. A staff meeting may be the best place to raise the subject if it's a company wide problem. If it's an issue with one or two employees the Human Resources department or a manager should address the issue privately with the individual employee(s).


  For more information on business attire, check out The Etiquette Advantage in Business, 3rd edition or visit www.emilypost.com.  

Etiquette Bites:

Daniel Post Senning talks about cell phone etiquette 101.


Check out this Etiquette Bite and more here:  Etiquette Bites.



Wedding: No Invite, No Guilt       


peach-roses-bunch.jpg

Dear Post Family,
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I would appreciate your insights, as I really don't want to offend. My friend is getting married and I wasn't invited. This isn't the issue. I understand that guest lists can be limited for all kinds of reasons. My friend seems embarrassed that she wasn't able to invite me, and I feel like she avoids talking about the wedding with me. I have two questions: 1. Is there any way I can let her to know she can lighten up about it - I'm not upset - or is that presumptuous? 2. I would like to get her a gift but I think in her current state if I gave it to her before the wedding she would keel over from guilt. Should I get her something?

Please help,
Katya

Dear Katya,
Your predicament is not uncommon. Some brides get frosty or distant around friends they can't invite to the wedding and others just feel a lot of guilt that they can't invite everyone they'd like to their big day. In either case the bride can be very unsure of whether or not to discuss wedding details with those not invited. On the one hand it's a lovely way to include and share with others who can't attend, on the other, it can be seen as telling someone about a great time they won't get to experience.

Best to let your friend know you'd love to hear about her wedding by asking her questions when you get together. You can say things like "You are going to have the best time!" or "I can't wait to see pictures afterward!" to indicate that you are excited, but you know you're not invited. As long as these phrases come across as sincere you won't look as if you're fishing for an invite or that you're trying to hammer in the point that you are won't be there.

When it comes to the gift, it's probably best to wait and give it to her after the wedding. She'll appreciate the gesture for sure, but it won't get lost among her worry about you not being invited.
 

For more information on wedding etiquette, check out Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition or visit www.emilypost.com.  

THE WELL MANNERED WEDDING ARCHIVE

Read Peggy Post's thoughts on today's most nuanced wedding dilemmas in the archive of her New York Times column.



Read more of Emily Post advice each month in Good Housekeeping.



Lifestyle: Nag Nag Nag       



Dear Emily Post,
Thank you for taking the time to read my question. I am a mom of 4 kids ages 7 - 14. I feel like I am a playlist on repeat: "Say, 'excuse me'," "Say please," "Shake hands," "Say hello," "Use your napkin not your sleeve," "Don't pick your nose" ...it's a long playlist... How can I teach my kids manners without feeling like I'm a nag on repeat!
Any thoughts you have I'm sure would help.

Thank you again,
Rebecca (AKA Broken Record)


Dear Rebecca,

Oh how we sympathize! We completely understand that it is frustrating to say the same things over and over again and feel like you're not getting anywhere. But you are absolutely doing the right thing! When we are encouraging children to have good manners, we need to use repetition both to remind kids when manners are going to be important as well as to get these manners to become habits and, as adults, we know it takes a long time to form a habit.
 
We teach our children how to say the word "please." We teach them that how they say the word matters (there's a sarcastic please and a sincere please). We teach them when to say it. Then we repeat. We repeat. We repeat. We repeat. The repetition is the part that gets it to stick. So never give up (well maybe it's ok to give up once they are grown and you see them using these words, behaviors, and manners regularly) but know that all the repetition during these early and teen years is exactly the right thing to do!
 
  For more information on manners for kids, check out Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th Edition or visit www.emilypost.com.  

IDEAS ON PINTEREST | Visit our boards. Get inspired.



The holidays are right around the corner! Get inspired by our Tablescapes Pinterest board to get ideas for your holiday table. And check out all our Pinterest boards for ideas and inspiration in your home!
EMILY POST & ETIQUETTE IN THE NEWS  


Please visit our contact page to reach us, or you can find us on Facebook and Twitter. We love hearing from you, so feel free to post to our social media and join in the conversation. We may not always be able to respond, but we read every question and comment. From our family to yours we hope you have a wonderful month! As always, thank you for your continued interest in etiquette and The Emily Post Institute.      

Sincerely,

The Posts


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