| Life Changers|
In the course of my work with individuals, businesses and not for profit organizations I've witnessed profound change. I've created this list of concepts that have had the greatest impact from the feedback that I've received from my clients.
1-You don't have to do what you feel. Feelings are not actions, they come and go, they change all the time, all day long. They do not create anything. How
small would the world population be if someone died every time someone felt like they wanted to kill someone?
In fact, we all do things everyday that we don't feel like doing. Did you get up when your alarm went off, even though it was raining, and you were feeling so cozy in bed? You can do everything you need to do to reach your goals, no matter what you feel, as long as you are aware of your feelings and you don't let them run you. (By the way, this is an excellent idea to share with your children when they say "I don't feel like it".)
2-Self-discipline does not work. Change is hard and it's possible, but self-discipline is not the route. Studies have shown that we are born with a finite amount of self-discipline that does not change over the course of our lives, and there is just about nothing you can do to get more. The way to change is by creating rituals. This is essentially the way you create all habits of daily life, like brushing your teeth. Any behavior that you turn into a habit can become as effortless.
3- Selfish is not a dirty word. When traveling by air you are told to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting children. This instruction, which most of us have heard countless times, is telling us to behave in a selfish manner. Take care of yourself so that you are able to take care of others.
Taking action that you gets what you need and taking excellent care of yourself is the way you get a solid base from which you can be more generous and supportive of others.
4-Setting annual goals and writing them down is great. However, 30% of us scale back our goals by mid January and by June most of us have given them up totally. Some of the reasons are a lack of specificity, no system for tracking progress, and neglecting to build in accountability, but the major mistake that we make is that we don't tie our goals to a vision, and we don't make them big. Research has demonstrated that the number one reason that we do not reach our goals is because they are not big enough.
Hope these points resonate for you. Please let me know how you use them to create your own profound changes.