GS Logo  March 2012   Issue # 14   (973) 912-0177
In This Issue
Fostering Resilience in Children After Trauma
Helping Teens & Adults Cope with Trauma
Helpful Books and Websites
Quick Links
Lisa Athan, Executive Director of Grief Speaks
Lisa presenting a Grief Speaks Workshop
Lisa was a Keynote Speaker for the 29th Annual NJ Statewide Conference on Compulsive Gambling on September, 22, 2011. Lisa's title: Gambling and Grief: Exploring the Connection. Will also be presenting both the keynote and a breakout session for the New York Council on Problem Gambling 2012 Annual Problem Gambling Conference in Albany, NY. in May as well as in Vancouver, Washington in April



NJSCA: New Jersey School Counselors' Association
Fall Conference:
School Counselors Helping Students Cope with a Sudden or Anticipated Death:
Family, Friend, Peer or Pet
New Jersey Association of Health, Physical Education, Recreation and Dance
Annual Conference:
Teaching Coping with Grief and Loss 101 to Students K-12

Pequannock Valley Middle School: Assemblies for 6,7 and 8 grades and Parent Program

The Children's Therapy Center Fairlawn
 Parent Program on Coping with Loss

Hawthorne High School
Peer Leaders Program: Helping Peers Cope with Loss & Other Tough Stuff

Contact We Care
24/7 Crisis Hotline Training for Volunteers on Grief and Loss Calls

North Plainfield School District
Suicide Prevention Workshops (K-12) for Staff: 6 Sessions

Warren County Traumatic Loss Coalition Presentation on What TLC Members Need to Know about Grief, Loss and Healthy Ways to Cope

Louisiana School District in Monroe and West Monroe
Presented at middle and high schools to students, faculty and parents as well as a program for hospice volunteers and funeral home staff.  Sponsored by Kilpatrick Funeral Homes.

Hinckley Elementary School Hinckley, Minnesota
Presentation to faculty, parents and classes K-6th on Resiliency through Grief, Loss & Other Tough Stuff

Children's Therapy Center Sib Shops Talking to siblings of children with special needs  

Westfield High School
Presentations to High School Freshmen in Health Classes  
on Transitions, Grief and Loss and for Juniors

Roosevelt Elementary School
3 Hour In-Service to Guidance Staff in District

Seton Hall University
Undergraduate class for education and special education majors on Supporting Students through Grief and Loss.  Helpful ideas for future teachers to use in their classrooms.

Hunterdon Cancer Center: Staff program: Supporting the Professional Caregivers Through Grief

James Caldwell High School
Freshmen Health Class Presentations

Neptune High School Presentation to Staff on Supporting Grieving Students


Jonathan Dayton
 High School

 Health Class Presentations to Juniors "Coping with Transitions, Loss & Other Tough Stuff"

St Michaels Church Youth Group "Better Communication with Parents and Family:  Seek First to Understand"

Holy Spirit Church 
Divorced and Separated Support Group

Rainbows Program for families experiencing transitions
Presenting to parents

Camp Clover Bereavement Day Camp in August in Warren, N.J.
On-site Grief Specialist

 New Jersey Counseling Association Annual Conference
"Different Ways to Grieve, Different Ways to Heal"

Western Regional Conference on Problem Gambling Awareness: Focus on the Future in Vancouver, Washington.
Keynote: Real Loss: Grief in Recovery and Breakout Session: The Importance of Understanding Disenfranchised Grief
Sponsored by Evergreen Council on Problem Gambling  

See more on the Grief Speaks Calendar

link on top of newsletter


Some schools have come up with  creative ways to fund a Grief Speaks Program.


 For example: This appeared in the recent Westfield High School PTSO newsletter sent to all parents in the district:


"As you know, the PTSO is working to counteract some of the gaps left at WHS by difficult economic times and several years of cutbacks. After conducting a survey of faculty and staff in June, the PTSO compiled a list of priority expenditures. The goal is both to save existing programs and to expand some new ones. Here are our determined priorities:

 $800 - For Lisa Athan of Grief Speaks for a presentation to 450 students in fall health classes. Grief Speaks workshops provide education, strategies, resources & support for teens who are coping with grief due to all different types of loss. There has been an overwhelmingly positive feedback from previous years. Click here for further information.


Other schools have turned to their PTA's, Municipal Alliances, have written grants and turned to organizations for additional support. 



Feedback from the NJAHPERD Conference: 

"Lisa offered places and references where children can seek help if they don't know who to talk to because as teachers we don't always have the answers. Lisa was informative and knowledgeable on this topic. She provided us with information that can be incorporated in our health education classroom."

"Great job and your compassion shows. You shared real life situations that were relevant and applicable."


"Loved hearing some of the stories that went with the material and enjoyed learning about the scream box and other easy to use tools."  



"Absolutely outstanding" "Bring her back!" "She is the best speak I have ever heard!" "Great energy, great passion. She was entertaining and informative.""The best of all. ""Extremely engaging, great speaker!"" Very engaging style." Bring her back next year. Excellent speaker!"  Great sense of humor, unique insight and enthusiasm, many catchy phrases. ""Enthusiastic presentation with great information" 


Comments from the 29th Annual Statewide Conference on Compulsive Gambling: Gambling and Grief: Exploring the Connections: 9/22/11 



"Lisa was one of the most incredible speakers that I have ever come across. Thank you for being such an inspiration!"
Teesha Hoffman,
Contact We Care Volunteer for the Crisis Hot-line, following Lisa's training to the hot line volunteers on What We all Should Know about Grief, Loss and Supporting Grievers

"Dear Mrs. Athan,
I very much enjoyed you coming to speak to our class. It wasn't like any other lecture from some stranger that is just stating facts. The way you presented it kept me interested and I feel as if I learned something important and that I wasn't alone. I believe you have saved lives and should keep doing it because you do change the views of the students you talk to."
 (a Junior at Jonathan Dayton High School, Springfield, NJ)
Following Grief Speaks Health Class Presentation on Teens Coping with Grief, Loss and Other Tough Stuff  


"Lisa from Grief Speaks had a great program that had a very positive influence on me. Not only were the topics relatable, but Lisa was friendly and didn't let the conversation get boring or depressing. I think everyone has or will deal with their own share of grief in life, and especially at such a delicate time in our lives, it is important to know how to deal with pain. I'm glad she came to my high school and showed us that there is always someone that we can turn. We are never alone."  

A student at Pequannock High School (spoke to the peer leaders) 


Hi Lisa,

I really enjoyed your presentation. I have already emailed other contacts at schools (Randolph, Middle and High School, Long Valley, Morris Vo Tech and Watchung Hills) to tell them about what a great presentation you have. It speaks not only to adults but to kids. It was moving for those of us in counseling, who work with grief often, as well as teachers and other school professionals who may not even have the knowledge that they are working with children in grief. After I left the auditorium, I realized I laughed during your presentation. You were funny! You found a way to speak to us that actually made us laugh at times during a professional development focused on grief!  

I heard from colleagues that your presentation was awesome and they were right. You were terrific. Thanks for doing the work you do.

~ Christine Cascione,

North Plainfield High School Counselor 


"I just wanted to thank you Lisa for the information that you presented during our in-service last week. As a person who has experienced many losses in my life, I was anxious about coming to the workshop. However, your warmth, humor, insights and ability to share, made your presentation non-confrontational and impressive. I swore that I would spend my time preparing grocery lists in my head but I found it very easy to listen to you. I have already ordered some of the books you suggested and you have inspired me to tackle some of my own "issues". Thank you again. You are doing good things with your life...I know your mom would be proud of you."
Teacher at Deron School (A Special School for Special Children, in Montclair)
Following a two hour professional development workshop: Supporting the Special Needs Student with Grief and Loss
(March 2010)

"Dear Mrs. Athan,
Between dealing with deaths and separations you've got it down! I think you did a great job. Normally I don't pay attention, but I could not stop listening to you! You gave me some insight on how to react to a death or how to help a friend. I have not had a big loss yet, but everyone will lose someone someday. You have made me feel more prepared for that day. Love,"
A Student at Jonathan Dayton High School

  Lisa does a tremendous job at connecting with the students. Her personal experiences, and helpful hints are always well received.  We often do not have time to teach this topic, because of the jam-packed curriculum. Lisa teaches it in  a way that makes it acceptable, as opposed to taboo.  We look forward to having her back every year! 

Tracey Saladino,
Health Educator
Jonathan Dayton High School
Springfield, NJ

Dear Lisa,

Thank you for such a great workshop last week for the Ocean and Monmouth County School Counselors Association. I recommended you as a speaker for an in-service day for our school counselors and school social workers. Thanks again,


Mary Donnelly,

School Counselor

Matawan Aberdeen Middle School


"Lisa has presented her program to Kinnelon High School faculty and our middle school faculty at Pearl R. Miller school at a regularly scheduled meeting...that can be a tough group....she received excellent reviews! She has also been presenting to our health classes since then and has been invited back several times. She is dynamic and covers a difficult topic with some humor, passion and a creative flair! I would recommend her without reservation."

Priscilla Adams, SAC

Kinnelon School District 


Students' Comments:


"During the assembly I learned that you should always treat people nicely. I learned that grief is not bad and that it is normal. Because of this assembly I went home and was nicer to my brother and was more tolerant of him. He has Asperger's syndrome. I think all we learned was good to know. She taught us ways to cope with our grief."

~ 9th grader  


"From this assembly I learned that I can rely on a guidance counselor if I am going through a rough time . I also learned that there is someone out there that has the same problem so that I am not the only one. Thank you so much." ~ 9th grader


 "Dear Mrs. Athan,

I think that your presentation last week was very helpful. This opened up a lot of doors to people who had or are having these tough situations. This gives them options and information that they might not have know about. I think you may have even saved someone's life. Thank you!"

A High School Junior


"Dear Mrs. Athan,

Thank you for coming in. I just went through a very rough time in my life and your advice really helped me." High School Student


"Dear Mrs. Athan,

I want to thank you for taking time to come to our school. Since I moved to this high school after my father's death, I usually don't think much about the fact that he is really gone. Most of the time I will wake up and just pretend he never existed. Everything a father has to teach a son I learned on my own and so I thought it was best to block him out. Thanks to your presentation, I understand that I do not have to forget him but can still move on. I will never cry about my father. Thanks to you I can still remember. THANK YOU!!!! "   High School Senior 


  Find out what other school counselors, SAC's, teachers, students, staff and parents  have to say about Grief Speaks presentations.
See Testimonials on the web site at:

Join Our Mailing List

Welcome to the March 2012, Grief Speaks Newsletter. This particular issue features one article on Fostering Resilience in Children After Trauma and a second on Helping Teens and Adults Cope with Trauma.

Grief Speaks provides presentations, workshops and keynotes to schools, colleges, agencies, hospitals and communities throughout the country, that aim to educate children, teens and adults about grief, loss, resiliency and healthy coping strategies for coping with many different types of loss. Grief Speaks is an important resource that can serve your school, organization, community, business or conference by providing presentations, professional development programs, assemblies and parent or staff workshops.  Grief Speaks has been invited to deliver keynote addresses as well as workshops for many different conferences that fall under grief, including gambling, special needs, addiction and aging issues. Consider having Grief Speaks present a powerful, inspirational and cutting edge workshop tailored specifically for your needs. For more information and fees contact Lisa Athan, Executive Director of Grief Speaks at (973)-912-0177 or email her at

Grief Speaks has an informative website ( that is full of articles, resources and suggestions for best supporting grieving children, teens and adults. There is information about a wide variety of issues including adoption, incarceration, illness, job loss, suicide prevention, divorce and more.  GS is dedicated to normalizing grief in the lives of children, teenagers and adults.

Miles Learns about Grief
Miles Learns about Grief
Grief Speaks now has videos on YouTube and the channel is called Griefspeaker. Click on the above video to see Miles listen about how grief can affect people differently. You can view many videos that deal with different types of loss and grief starring our dogs: Miles, Cody and Stanley. Each video is only a couple of minutes and are gentle ways to explain different aspects of grief.  If you subscribe to the channel you will be able to see new ones as they come out. There are videos on teens, depression, children and adults coping with loss, divorce and different ways people grieve, and coping after a suicide. 
Miles and Cody Learn about Grounding
Miles and Cody Learn about Grounding
The above video teaches grounding as a technique to deal with overwhelming emotions after a traumatic event for children and teens or to cope with urges.
A Card from Grief Speaks 4 Teens

One of many anonymous cards written by a teens that I collect after my presentation to them on coping with transitions, loss and other tough stuff. I'm writing a book based on these cards. To read more about what is on the minds and in the hearts of teens visit  and "like" my new page on Facebook -  Grief Speaks 4 Teens  
This card suggested to me that this teen thought the lesson was valuable and that we should be teaching this to younger children as well. I so agree. It's never to early to learn coping skills, problem solving and ways to foster resiliency.
At the bottom of each index card is a response and a few resources that benefits teens, parents and teachers.

Lisa Athan,MA, Grief Recovery Specialist is the Founder and Executive Director of Grief Speaks. Lisa speaks on topics such as:

   -  Supporting Students through Grief, Loss and other Tough Stuff
   - Adolescents, Technology and the Internet:  Loss in our Digital World
   - How Parents Can Nurture Resilience in their Children through Losses, Grief and Transitions.
  - Beyond Band Aids: What School Nurses Need to Know about Students Coping with Grief, Loss and Risky Behaviors
   - Communities in Grief: Supporting and Nurturing Resiliency in a Community 
  -  Suicide Prevention Workshops for School Staff and Parents
   -What Hospital Staff Needs to Know about Grief and Loss
   - Strengthening Children and Teens Through Transitions, Loss & Other Tough Stuff
   - When Death is Sudden vs. Anticipated: Helping Children and Teens Cope
   - When a Parent Has Cancer
   - When Parents Leave Children Behind: Death, Divorce, Abandonment
    - College Students, Mental Health Issues and Suicide Prevention

For a complete list of topics please visit the website.

Lisa speaks with passion, knowledge and humor, while providing her audiences with a wealth of information, resources, tools and strategies for coping and healing through the grief from many different types of loss. Grief stems from losses involving relationships (through death, separation, divorce, and abandonment), ambiguous losses (dementia, mental illness, immigration, addiction, adoption) loss of possessions, home environment, coping with natural disasters, loss of skills or abilities, status, work, safety, meaning and purpose, identity, dreams and hopes and more. 

Grief is a normal and natural reaction to a loss, that affects us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Visit for a wealth of information on  grief, losses of all kinds and healthy coping. Lisa has two pages in Facebook: Grief Speaks and Grief Speaks 4 Teens which features anonymous index cards she collects from teens who share about tough stuff they are faced with and then Lisa provides resources that address these tough issues including death, divorce, moving, sexual abuse, addiction, incarceration, mental health issues, parents' loss of work, relationships and more. Feel free to email Lisa for suggestions on dealing with a particular issue at Follow us on Twitter  Like us on FacebookView my profile on LinkedIn

Fostering Resilience In Children After a Traumatic Experience

Violence or natural disasters can cause trauma in young people. Children are aware of and face many different types of trauma including natural disasters, terrorism, school shootings, sexual abuse, violence in their neighborhoods, witnessing tragic events like car crashes and loss of loved ones. Trauma involves frightening thoughts and painful feelings.  It can also produce extreme behaviors such as intense fear or helplessness, withdrawal or detachment, lack of concentration, irritability, sleep disturbance, aggression, hyper vigilance (intensely watching for more distressing events) or flashbacks (sense that the event is reoccurring).

Some stress reactions may include tears, worry, frustration, anxiety, guilt, moodiness, anger, sadness, bad dreams, feeling of isolation, distrust, intolerance, lashing out, withdrawal or feeling out of control. Physical symptoms can be restlessness, upset stomach, pounding heart, weight change, lethargy, clumsiness, headaches, forgetfulness.
     Children are sensitive and struggle to make sense of trauma. They all respond differently to trauma. They may be quite emotional and hurt deeply. They may find it hard to recover from these experiences, especially if they lack support and resources.  

Most children recover from a trauma within a few weeks. Some need longer help. Grief may take months to resolve. I don't think we ever "forget" or "get over it" as it comes back at times, such as the anniversary of the event or when another trauma occurs.

Following Exposure to Traumatic Events,  Adults Can Help Children to: 
- Ensure safety of all involved and keep parents informed
-Minimize exposure
-Resume normal activities and follow predictable routines; this maintains a sense of predictability, safety, control and connections.
-Minimize and reduce exposure to upsetting media coverage, and process news events with supportive caring adults who can act as models of positive coping.
-Engage in healthy behaviors (eating, sleeping and pro-social activities).
-Engage in active coping efforts and to not engage in avoidant coping activities such as giving up, dissociating, blaming self or others, angry ruminative behaviors and substance abuse.
-Engage in sharing and helping activities with supportive others. Have parents who are open to talking to children about the crisis in reassuring ways without pressuring their children to talk.
 -Identify and access social supports (people in and out of school to turn to in the future).
-Use faith-based procedures along with familial and community rituals to memorialize and grieve as a way to find meaning.

Adults should attend to children by listening to them, accepting their feelings. Help them to cope with the reality of the event. Try to limit other changes. Encourage them to spend time with those they enjoy being with (family and friends). Reduce school pressures for a time, enlist the help of teachers. Limit fights at home and encourage them to eat regularly and sleep.
Keep an eye out for sudden changes in behaviors, language use or emotional states.  Provide support.

Children need information on their level in honest and simple terms. Explain what happened. Let them know it wasn't their fault and that they will be taken care of. It is okay for them to be upset. Allow them to cry, to be sad, to talk about feelings, to let them write about feelings, to encourage them to draw. Keep things as normal as possible. Let them make choices about food, clothes and other things to help them feel in control. Have them list safe places and people they can visit in the next days or weeks at home or at school. Ensure safety. Minimize media exposure. Engage in healthy eating and sleeping habits. Use faith-based procedures along with family and community rituals to memorialize and grieve as a way to find meaning.

Please Don't: 
* Push them to talk about it before they are ready.
*Expect them to be brave and tough.
*Get angry if they show strong emotions.
*Get upset if the regress.
*Change routines.
*Be surprised if they react later on.
*Ask a lot of questions.
*Say "everything will be okay"
* Don't make promises you can't keep

PTSD: (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Some children have prolonged problems after a traumatic experience, such as depression, anxiety and PTSD. Children may show some of these symptoms:
* Re-experiencing the event (through play, nightmares, flashbacks, by distress over events that remind them)
*Avoidance of reminders of the event
* Lack of responsiveness
* Lack of interest in things that used to interest him
* Irritability
* A sense of having "no future"
* Poor concentration
*Be easily startled
* Behavior from earlier life stages
* A sense of having "no future"

Resiliency Factors in Children:
Living with nuclear family member
Effective and Caring Parenting
Extended family relations/guidance
Caregivers cope well with trauma
Close peer friendships
Access to positive adult models
Connection with prosocial institutions
Active coping style
Mental health
Good self-regulation of emotion
Developmental maturity and higher IQ
Adaptive coping with prior trauma
High self esteem
Internal locus of control
Religious belief system (faith)

 A Note to School Staff:
School Connectedness is the belief by students that adults in their school care about them and their learning. School connectedness is related to academic, behavioral and social success in school. A protective factor is attendance in effective schools and being "bonded" to school; for instance, ask students the following question to access for school-bondedness: "If you were absent from school, who else, besides your friends would notice that you were missing and would miss you?"


"Research shows that a positive relationship with an adult who is available to provide support when needed is one of the most critical factors in preventing student violence. Some children need help overcoming feelings of isolation and support in developing connections to others. Effective schools make sure that opportunities exist for adults to spend quality, personal time with children. Effective schools also foster positive student interpersonal relations- they encourage students to help each other and to feel comfortable assisting others in getting help when needed."

~Early Warning, Timely Response: Guide to Safe Schools, Dwyer   


Helping Teens Cope With Trauma:
Listen and Give Support:
* Explain what has happened and answer their questions honestly and truthfully.
* Listen to their words and pay attention to their feelings. Watch their body language.
* Encourage teens to express their feelings and reactions so you can help them deal with all that is going on inside of them in a safe place.
* Be patient and supportive and assure them that their reactions are understandable, common and normal. Do not rush their process.
* Don't be judgmental and punitive. Teens need to feel safe with you, especially when they are feeling scared and hurt.
* Do not tell the teens how they should feel and react. Listen and support them as they share.
* Tell them you love them and what you appreciate about them. Teens need positive support after trauma even more than usual.

Be Understanding and Accepting:
* Concentration and memory are often impaired after trauma and teens may need help getting work done.
* Know that teens may exhibit childish, immature behaviors, regress back to earlier stages of development and then act very mature and adult. They are both a child and adult after trauma.
*Understand that teens often want to be with their friends and not their families.
* Remember that everyone recovers differently from trauma and that teens seem to be fine at first and then need help later.

Encourage and Be Involved:
* Help teens get back into a routine as soon as possible, even if they cannot do all they used to do.
* Sometimes teens talk better and share more when they are doing activities such as walking, driving, games, sports, hobbies or similar activities. (Especially boys)
* Suggest that they can express their reactions and feelings through writing journals, are, music, drama, dance or other expressive media.
* Give them appropriate responsibilities and duties, and expect that they will fulfill them. Support them when they do and help them get on track if they don't.
* Encourage them to get involved with positive activities with other teens, especially activities they enjoyed before the trauma.

Be Aware and Concerned:
* Watch for changes in their behavior (outgoing teen becoming withdrawn, or well behaved teen acting out)
This may call for deeper discussions or professional intervention if it continues for months after the trauma.
* Watch for signs of substance use and abuse; help them find other ways to cope.
* Teens often withdraw from everyone when they are dealing with difficult reactions. Support them, but monitor their screen time.
* Statements of hopelessness and seeing no reason to keep on living by teens should be confronted in a caring, supportive discussion. Professional intervention may be needed.

Take Care of Yourself Too: (Adult Support)
* If you feel comfortable to show your feelings. Also show the kids how you take care of yourself. That is being a good role model.
* If you don't feel comfortable talking about the trauma or about death or this event, refer the teens to someone who can talk to them about it.
* Get plenty of rest, eat well and exercise. Drink plenty of water to flush the chemicals that are produced by trauma out of your system. Avoid the use of drugs or alcohol including over the counter to numb your pain. It will only delay your recovery. Structure your time. Don't try to avoid recurring thoughts or feelings about the trauma. They are normal and will decrease over time. Give yourself to feel rotten and to share your feelings with others. Do things you enjoy. Spend time with safe and trusted people. Set limits with others if you don't want to talk. Don't label yourself as "crazy". Avoid the evening news. Remind yourself that you are having a normal reaction. Write down your thoughts and feelings, especially if you are having difficulty sleeping. Ask for help if you need it. Seeking help from a counselor is not a sign of weakness. Family, friends, clergy, and other community resources can be valuable sources of support.

(Above info from The Prevention Researcher, 4/03) 
Good Books,Websites and Resources for Trauma, Grief and Loss:
There are many more books and resources on the Grief Speaks website. Here are some that may be helpful in dealing with grieving children and teens:

A Terrible Thing Happened: A story for children who have witnessed violence or trauma - Margaret Holmes                Freedom Writers Diary: Their Story, Their Words - The Freedom Writers and Erin Gruwell
The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook
- Glenn Schiraldi
What to do When the Police Leave:A guide for the first days of traumatic loss - Bill Jenkins                                               Healing your Traumatized Heart: 100 practical ideas after someone you love dies a sudden, violent death - Alan D. Wolfelt
The Boy Who Sat by the Window
: Helping children cope with violence - Chris Loftis
Picking up the Pieces
: A program about violent death for use with middle school students - Gabriel Constans                           Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the trauma of childhood abuse - Linda Sanford
Assessing and Treating Trauma and PTSD
- Linda Schupp
What Will Happen to Me?
- Howard Zehr
Group Work with Adolescents After Violent Death
: A manual for practitioners - Alison Salloum                                                After a Parent's Suicide: Helping children heal - Margo Requarth
You Are Not Alone
: Teens talk about life after the loss of a parent - Lynne Huges                                                                         The Grieving Teen - Helen Fitzgerald
The Grieving Child
- Helen Fitzgerald                                       The Grieving Student: A teacher's guide - David Schonfeld and Marcia Quackenbush                                                              Fire in My Heart, Ice in My Veins: A journal for teenagers experiencing a loss - Enid Samuel Traisman                                  How it Feels When a Parent Dies - Jill Krementz
But I Didn't Say Goodbye: For parents and professions helping child suicide survivors - Barbara Rubel                                     The Journey Through Grief and Loss: Helping your child when grief is shared - Robert Zucker                                                      Tear Soup - Pat Schwiebert                                                  When a Friend Dies: A book for teens about grieving and healing - Marilyn Gootman                                                              Raising Our Children to be Resilient: A guide to helping children cope with trauma in today's world - Linda Goldman            Working with the Bereaved: Multiple Lenses on Loss and Mourning - Rubin, Malkinson, Witztum                                                  Teen Who Hurt: Clinical Inventions to Break the Cycle of Adolescent Violence - Ken Hardy                                       Seeking Safety: A treatment manual of PTSD and substance abuse - Lisa Najavits                                                                       The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook - Ed Bourne

Websites and Other Online Support    

(Good Grief: free, year round peer grief support for children 3-18 and parent/caregiver after the loss of a parent or sibling, Morristown NJ: 908-522-1999 
(Imagine: free, year round peer grief support for children 3-18 and parent/caregiver after the loss of a parent or sibling. Westfield, NJ) 
(Free, year round grief support for children 6-18 who have lost a loved one and support for  their surviving parent/caregiver, located in Manasquan, NJ)
(free, year round grief support for children 3-18 who have lost a loved one. Located in Northfield, NJ. Also The Alcove has a list on their site of other centers throughout the U.S.)
Suicide Prevention Resource Center (After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools) 
Comfort Zone Camp: free weekend bereavement camps in NJ for children 7-17 who have lost a parent or sibling).
Camp Clover:
NJ free week long bereavement day camp third week in August, 2012 in Warren,NJ.  For children 7-15 who lost someone close. For info call: (973) 379-8440 Ext. 8956
The Compassionate Friends, National group offers mutual support, friendship and understanding to families grieving the death of a child of any age, from any cause. Sibling network too. 
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention- online training for teachers, parent and teen information and articles
The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide of NJ-  Great site with online training for educators, video for parents- Not My Kid and a lot of great information for parents and teens.
(NJ Self Help Clearinghouse: a complete list of NJ Free Support Groups for anyone in NJ concerning a variety of different illnesses, losses and other issues.)
(Contact We Care) 24/7 crisis hotline: 1-908-232-2280
Extensive volunteer training to work the hot line. Also conducts a great two day training on Suicide Prevention called: ASIST: Applied Suicide Intervention Skills. To find out about volunteering or for the training call: 1-908-301-1899
Click on this to go to the TLC of NJ. Find a Coalition for your County in NJ. Learn about them as a resource to help and guide schools following any traumatic loss of a student or staff member. Free support and guidance from highly trained lead response team members. Find out about joining a team in your county.
The Blood Center of NJ is a great way to get schools involved in doing something valuable for the entire community.  A blood drive can help a classmate, teacher or family member who may be in need of blood. The Blood Center of NJ works with students and schools to set up a drive. For more information log onto their website or call: 1-866-968-2265

National Association of School Psychologists has a wealth of information and articles about supporting students through grief, loss and crisis. Click on: NASP

National Hotlines:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Suicide Prevention Lifeline

The Trevor Project:
Suicide and crisis prevention helpline for gay and questioning youth.
The Trevor Project 
1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386)

RAINN: Rape, Incest, Abuse National Network: Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE provides live, secure, anonymous crisis support for victims of sexual violence, their friends, and families over RAINN's website. The Online Hotline is free of charge and is available 24 hours per day, 7 days per week!

National Runaway Crisis Hotline:  1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-786-2929

The Jason Foundation:
Provider of educational curriculums and training programs for students, educators/youth workers and parents.

Reach Out:
Info and support services to help teens and young adult facing tough times and struggling with mental health issues.

2nd Floor: Youth Helpline for those in NJ
who are between the ages of 10-24 in need of someone to talk to: 1-888-222-2228
National Child Traumatic Stress Network: 
Info about trauma related to many different events.

National Center for Children Exposed to Violence:  
Training and support to professionals who provide intervention and treatment to children and families affected by violence.    

"If it is mentionable, it is manageable." ~ Fred Rogers

"Resilient children have at least one significant adult in their lives." 

~ Linda F. Winfield 


Thanks for making a difference in the life of a child, teen or adult.



Lisa Athan, MA
Executive Director of Grief Speaks
Grief Recovery Specialist
(973) 912-0177  
To contact Lisa about a staff development workshop, presentation, assembly program, or for help with a particular situation, please email her at :  or call her at  (973) 912-0177.  The web site is: .  To forward this newsletter on to a friend or coworker simply click on the forward email button below. Thanks so much for spreading the word about Grief Speaks to others.