THE NUTS AND BOLTS
OF THE LOOSE SCREWS OF TRIATHLON
As 2013 winds to an end, perhaps you will find yourself considering some new goals heading into 2014. Maybe you are a runner entertaining the notion of completing a multisport event (i.e. triathlon) in the coming year. Contributing to the informal consensus, the sport of triathlon may seem daunting but rest assured that your local multisport club, Tri Gulf Coast, is a tremendous and easily-accessible asset to all comers, particularly "newbie" or novice triathletes.
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| Evan With His "666" Body Mark |
Peruse and digest the following bullet-pointed list of observations about this great sport. Perhaps this informal (and far from all-inclusive) listing will assuage some of your misconceptions and fears, alert you to the hot button topics, provide a bit of a humorous take on "tri geeks," and pique your interest even more!
- Statistically, it is highly unlikely that you will finish "last" in a triathlon. With a combination of disciplines (swim, bike, run, transition) at your disposal chances are you will excel in at least one discipline. Enjoy it when you get to pass your fellow athletes, you may see them again depending on each of your respective strengths. Triathletes love the ex-collegiate swimmer who kills the swim course then spends ten minutes in T1 bragging about their fast swim time...
- Don't worry, most every one of the other beginner triathletes fear the swim as well. Yes, even those who were raised in, on, or around the water. Further, the sensation of swimming "in a washing machine" does seem to be pretty accurate.
- You will have a nightmare about your venture into multisport. Guaranteed. It may involve getting lost in the transition area, forgetting some integral gear (goggles, running shoes, helmet, bike), or you may even envision sleeping through the start of the race. Again, totally normal.
- A controversial topic in road races, but NO headphones in triathlon. No exceptions. Don't fear the rules officials as much as you should fear the nasty sneers and hand gestures from your fellow triathletes if you feel you are a special case and "just need to wear headphones because I always do in training."
- Drafting is illegal during the bike segment of a triathlon and most everyone is too winded or anaerobic to be able to execute it effectively during the swim or the run.
- Bike helmets, mandatory. No helmet = no race. What becomes entertaining is when one of your fellow athletes heads onto the run course with his/her helmet still on. Hang around enough triathlons and this becomes a common occurrence.
- Yes, you need a license to race. USA Triathlon (the sanctioning body of the sport) certifies 99% of the races in the U.S. and this goes with the territory, athletes need to be licensed. Only doing one or two events in a season, pay the one-day fee ($12) at the races. Considering more than two events in a year, go for the annual membership. Note: your annual license card does not carry any weight with immigration or local law enforcement but may assist with pickup lines at local watering holes.
- Packet pick-up, bring your photo ID and proof of USAT license coverage. It is easier to convince your bank of your identity absent actual photo proof.
- The "transition area" is indeed a formal entity. And, at many events, it is nearly as secure as Fort Knox. You want to enter? Make sure you have the appropriate credentials (read: athlete wrist band). Want to take your bike out after the event? Bib number needs to match body numbering needs to match bike number needs to match blood type.
- Local road race = bib number. Triathlon = body marking (markered race number adorning upper and lower extremity), numbered swim cap, race number taped to bike frame, race number taped to front of the bike helmet, and bib number (similar to a road race) attached to a race belt for the run.
- Chicked = being passed and beaten by a female. Chances are you won't be "strollered" in a triathlon though.
- You will wait in a line somewhere -- packet pick-up, port-o-let, body numbering, port-o-let, swim start, port-o-let, beer truck...
- Penalties? Yes, you can be assessed a variable time penalty. Have a great race. Enjoy perfect weather conditions. Finish with a smile on your face. But, don't break the rules or you may find your name on the "penalty list" with two minutes (or more) tagged to your finish time. This becomes fun when you have a training partner who blatantly cheats and now you have some objective "dirt" on him/her or if you suddenly have been bumped on/off the podium for an age group award because you or another athlete were assessed.
- Apart from penalties, to further complicate the issue of which of your training partners you may have finished before or after at said event, don't forget to factor in which start wave everyone slotted into at the beginning of the day. This can add or subtract four to ninety minutes to/from an athlete's finish time. Smile, you may not have been chicked afterall...
- Timing chips prevail. Yes, outdated and cumbersome technology for road races, but not when it comes to a triathlon where athletes need waterproof, versatile, and durable hardware to help feed data so as to be able to produce the many complicated forms of data triathletes love dissecting: swim time, T1 time, bike time, bike pace, T2 time, run time, run pace, overall finish time, cumulative transition time, etc...
- Anklet RoadID, get one. Not just a fashion statement ("Hey, look at me, I am a triathlete...") but also practical for safety and for sporting your timing chip.
- Enjoy showing up to your local 5k charity run with fifteen minutes to spare? Forget that. Triathletes arrive two hours before their scheduled race start. You will learn to set multiple alarm clocks, concoct a complicated "buddy system" wherein athletes call or text one another to make sure everyone is awake, or just sleep at the race site (don't laugh, it has been done).
- There are actually more than three disciplines to prepare for: pre-race dinner, raceday nutrition, finding a Starbucks or gas station open at 5:00am for your caffeine fix, swim, T1, bike, T2, run, post-race refueling, ensuring your body number stays on long enough following the event for a neighbor or co-worker to query as to why you have numbers markered on your extremities.
- Triathletes love their gear. Beyond the basics (goggles, swimsuit/trisuit, bike, bike helmet, run shoes) there are endless permutations and ever-evolving versions of bike shoes, tri-specific run shoes, sunglasses, aero wheels, triathlon hats/visors, aero helmets, bib number belts, aero bottles, high-octane calorie products, aero aero (yes, anything with the word "aero" in it is worthy of a triathlete)... And this is before factoring in what space-age material each of these particular items might happen to be crafted from.
- Triathlon, not triathAlon.
- How old will you be as of December 31st? Get used to figuring that math out. Triathlon age groups are based on the "age up" rule wherein all athletes race at the age they will be at the end of the current calendar year. So, for a race in April, if you are 34 years-old and your 35th birthday is in November, you will compete in the 35-39 age group for your April event. So there you are: 5:00am, still recovering from your nightmare of hitting T1 without a helmet, Starbucks is closed, both your arms grasping onto superfluous (aero) gear, and some over-caffeinated volunteer is asking you to perform the equivalent of long division while blinding you with their halogen high-beam headlamp.
- Related, wondering if that athlete you are chasing down is in your age group? No worries, triathlon volunteers generally marker the athlete age ("age up" of course) on one of the calves of all participants. About to finish your event and run up on someone not in your age group it is almost a guarantee that your heart rate will settle a bit once you figure out that you "don't really need to pass him/her" as nobody will ever be able to tell on the results sheet. As an aside, it has been reported that triathletes have used the markered age on the calf of the opposite gender as a way to help break the ice during the post-race festivities and bragging on one's achievements.
- Triathlons "sell out." Yes, due to municipal permits, USAT sanctioning, safety precautions, and transition area dimensions/size (have to be able to handle X amount of bikes racked in the transition area) it is routine to see an event fill to capacity weeks or months in advance. Rare is the occasion where a triathlete is registering for an event at packet pickup the day before (or day of) an event. It can be easier to successfully apply for a passport and grab an international flight last minute than it is to get into your local supersprint triathlon in the days leading up to the event. Yes, triathletes become masters of "planning ahead."
- Run a marathon recently? Were you part of a "pace group"? These don't exist in triathlon. In fact, being paced by a non-competitor will earn you a penalty. You want to be "paced" then you need to find a fellow competitor who happens to be moving along at the same pace you are (or desire to be), without drafting on the bike of course...
