October 2010 Newsletter Volume 3, Issue 10
Your Family Matters
Coaching for Parents of Teens
... so you don't have to go it alone!

Welcome back to Your Family Matters. As you know, communication is key in building healthy relationships; however, technology, such as email and cell phones/texting, has changed the way we talk to each other, not always for the better. They make it easy to avoid face-to-face or voice-to-voice interactions, and to say things that might be expressed more clearly, or better left unsaid. Read the October Parenting Journal for more on this topic.

I'll be offering you four different workshops over the next month. They will address self-care, parenting, programs for teens, and a business opportunity with a purpose.
Let me know what you're thinking. I love hearing from you. And if you find the content useful and interesting, share it! (Be sure to click on "Display Images" to see this newsletter in its entirety.)

To your parenting and personal success!

Warmest regards,


(or "Would you say that to her face?")

I recently retweeted this message from Emily Roberts (therapist and author).
"Parents, ask your kids 'Would you say that to her face?' When texting, pause before you post."

"Would you say that to her face?" What a great question. It has become way too easy to type out a message and send it off into cyberspace. Technology has given us the ability to send information faster and farther than ever before. As a tool for staying in touch with family and friends, it's great. As a way to speak your mind, it can be messy, irresponsible and even harmful.

What would you say differently, or not at all, if the person was standing in front of you? This question is for you, parents, as well as for your kids.

Think about it for a moment. When you speak directly to someone, there are visual and auditory cues coming at you - a facial expression, tone of voice, body language, their immediate response. This is a living, feeling person you are talking to, not just the faceless idea of someone. Email, texting, voice mail... in some instances they have become an impersonal way of communicating, one that allows us to ignore our responsibility for what we put out there. It can be the quick and easy way out. In the extreme, it is dangerous. Depending on the circumstances, it can also be a form of bullying.

The strategy in last month's Parent Journal was to "take five" before responding so that you say what you really mean. This is a good strategy for the written word, too. I have heard stories of people sending off an email to someone they are angry at. They end up in an email battle, messages flying back and forth, and sometimes irreparable damage is done to the relationship. (And let's not forget the risks involved in "reply all". When did everything become everybody's business anyway?)

The dangers for our teens are very real, whether they are on the sending or receiving side of these messages. Teenagers have far less impulse control and are swayed more by their emotions and their need to fit in. Encourage your children to 'take five' too. Ask them if they would have the courage to speak their mind, face to face. This is a real test of their character. Remind them that once they say something, it takes on a life of its own and cannot be undone.

As always, consider what you are teaching your children. If you are already aware and careful in how you communicate, bravo! If you think there is room for change, do it now. Take a look at what you say, how you express it, and how you send it out into the world. And tell your kids about your new attitude. Teach them well and show them how it's done!

Workshops / Opportunities
How to Listen So Teens Will Talk
Ah, for the days when they used to share everything with you, and listen to you, too! Now more than ever, it is critical for your teenager to be able to trust you and turn to you when there is something important to talk about. There are proven strategies that work with teens, and it all begins with how you listen.

Learn to go from silence to sharing at this event for parents only. Join me as we learn skills from the nationally known "How to Talk" program by Faber/Mazlish. Use your new skills immediately in your family!

Wednesday, October 27, 7:00-9:00pm
John Walk Middle School, 325 Franklin Avenue, Nutley, NJ

**This program is sponsored by the Nutley Parent Advocacy Network (NPAN).
It is open to the public, and there is no fee.


We worry about our daughters, more than our parents worried about us. There seem to be many more stressors and negative messages for them.

Give your daughter the gift of a coaching program designed specifically for teen girls. With Compass for Teens, she will develop the strengths that are hidden inside; grow her positive self-esteem and self-image; and improve communication with you. She'll be able to hear things from a teen coach that she may not be able to hear from you.

Learn more about this unique, affordable, group coaching program that will support her in becoming a happy, self-confident, independent adult.

Monday, October 25, 8:00-9:00pm ET
(telephone and internet connection)
To register and receive call-in information,
contact me at 201-747-9642 or fgweis@gmail.com

Take Back Your Energy!

Are you exhausted trying to be all things to all people? Are you lost in the shuffle? It's time to take back your energy and put YOU back in the picture.

Join me at an in-person event or on a webinar. (It's not complicated. Really, you can do this webinar thing.) You'll do an energy audit to identify your energy drains and come away with a realistic plan to make time for yourself.

Thursday, October 21, 7:30-8:30pm
Wayne Public Library
461 Valley Road, Wayne, NJ

Weds, November 3, 7:30-8:30pm
(phone & internet connection)
For call-in information and your Energy Audit Worksheet, contact me at fgweis@gmail.com
Discover Your Compass

Take back your life and increase your income. Make a difference by making affordable coaching available to anyone who wants it by

The Compass opportunity allows you to work from home while being part of a network of independent representatives. Compass is the first company to offer powerful group coaching programs for adults and teens at a truly affordable price. (How does $19-59/month sound?)

Combining four fast-growing global trends (professional coaching, social networking, network marketing and personal wellness/self-improvement), this the opportunity of a lifetime. And when you are a Compass representative, you will also be part of a coaching group!

Monday, October 18, 1:00pm ET
To receive call-in information contact me at 201-747-9642 or fgweis@gmail.com


Website: www.FamilyMattersCoach.com
Email: fgweis@gmail.com
Phone: 201-747-9642

Group Coaching: mylifecompass.com/ferngweis
Character Educ: Hyde Schools

Twitter: ParentTeenGuide
Facebook: Your Family Matters - Coaching

Fern Weis is a certified life coach, a teacher and a parent, and specializes in working with parents of teens and young adults. Together they write the manual for raising confident, self-sufficient, and happy adults. She also works with parents who are transitioning into the 'empty nest' years, or planning for adult children returning home.

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