The Dating and Relationship Group:  Overcoming Breakup (Part II)
In Part I, the first 4 stages of the emotional and psychological processing of a breakup ("otherness"; impermanence; dead self/alive self, and narrative construction) were described.  These early stages of recovery center on the mind's tendency to spit the experience of the failed relationship, and one's former partner, into segments or partitions.  The mind does this as a natural consequence of being unable to synthesize that which is incomprehensible and "does not fit or make sense," i.e., together/apart, in love/out of love, couple/single, joy/sadness.  In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, March 5, 2016, 12:00 to 1:15 PM noon, I will present the final 3 stage of recovery from a breakup: viability features a new cognitive reconstruction of the dynamics of the prior relationship that were not workable; availability centers on the application of what has been learned to new, and potentially more viable, romantic partners; and impermanence completes the cycle of recovery with the emergence of a more informed and realistic approach to the finite nature of love and relationships.  

The Men's Group: 
How Men Can Establish a Stronger Emotional Connection with their Partners
Scientific research has demonstrated that although men experience emotions as readily as do women, men have been socialized to express their emotions less intensively than women.  This disparity is at the core of many distressed marital relationships in which emotional estrangement has hampered the degree of intimacy experienced by both male and female partners.  A common presentation for couple therapy consists of a female partner who feels emotionally estranged from her male partner.  In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, March 5, 2016, 10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon, I will describe the range of pathways to emotional connection in romantic love and gender discrepancies in how "connection" is actually sought.  Emotional resonance for men will be considered from the perspective of both opportunity and fear.  Finally, the obstructions men experience in emotionally connecting with their partners will be explored, and suggestions for navigating the simultaneous needs of union and separateness will be offered.

To register for the March 5th meetings of the Men's Group and the Dating and Relationship Group:   If you would like to attend the Men's Group (10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon) and/or the Dating and Relationship Group (12:00 to 1:15 PM) on Saturday, March 5, please RSVP ASAP to Dr. Tobin at 949-338-4388 or There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis.  The fee is $25.00 and the location is The Water Garden Business Center, 23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130, Laguna Hills, CA, 92653.  Please note that these groups are educational in purpose, not therapeutic.  
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 | 
Men's Group Flier: 
Dating and Relationship Group Flier: Flier
Previous Newsletters:  

Catalogue of Talks and 
Presentations: Summary