"What hath night to do with sleep?"
John Milton   
Paradise Lost       
So now and then I go on an away-trip with my golf group, generally for two or three days to some nice course fairly nearby. A few years ago we went up to Santa Barbara and stayed in the cottages at Birnam Wood. Very nice, great food and clubhouse and beautiful surroundings.

Twelve of us who played had dinner and a wonderful evening together recounting our day's adventure. When it came time to turn in, my roommate and I walked back to our cottage. Within a few minutes of opening the door, he was asleep and snoring like a banshee.

I hadn't even brushed my teeth yet, and I thought, "Oh boy, I'm not going to even get to sleep, let alone sleep well with all that racket going on." And that's when I spotted a dim light coming from the closet.

Now I'm not an architect but I've never understood why they made the closets so big in the cottages at Birnam Wood. But after a moment's mental calculation I had a bright idea. Pulling all the covers off my twin bed, I dragged the box spring and the mattress into the closet and remade the bed.

It fit by mere inches on each side. So, very pleased with myself, I pulled the door shut by the interior handle and turned off the light by tugging on the long string hanging conveniently within my reach. And enjoyed complete silence.

I slept like a baby and I am sure that my roommate in the other room did too, as I'm not above snoring myself. But I can't help but wonder if when he woke to find me, and the covers, pillow, mattress and box spring all missing, that I must have been abducted by aliens.
- Hank Frazee, Author of  Referral Upgrade   and  Before We Say "Goodnight"
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