Greetings Parents,
We have our pumpkins! My sister-in-law started the tradition of going to Shaw’s Farms the year our oldest was born. From “no clue” about what was happening through his excitement of exploring the decorations, climbing on hay bales, and looking for the next giant fuzzy spider dangling from a tree on the hayride, we’ve progressed to including a girlfriend and conquering the corn maze. I see the other families with their little ones and have some longing for their uncensored excitement and joyful surprise with each new event. I wouldn’t however, give up what we have. We DO want them to mature, but we do find ourselves wishing the caution and concern for “how they look to others” wouldn’t stifle their expressions of joy.
Considering our God as parent, we can recall Jesus’ words that unless we become like little children we cannot enter the Kingdom of God. This is difficult to fully comprehend! We need to be responsible and plan. How do I act like a child but still mature in fulfilling God’s Plan for me?
Recent events remind us how little control we have over our lives. We set up schedules, but natural disasters and medical crises can pull all of that out of our control. We become fully dependent on others or on what the next moment brings. We live moment to moment, not knowing the long-term consequences. It can be nerve wracking! As people of faith, we should have no worry. St. Padre Pio said, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.” That was much easier when I was single without children than when I became the “primary contact” for others.
How do I be the primary caregiver and not worry when illness or social crises arise? We don’t know the outcome, only sometimes the probabilities. Somehow we are to subdue worry and be trusting in the Lord that all will be well. But what if God’s “well” is far from well in our minds? Expecting that my confidence in Him means He will bring things to MY desired outcome is assuming a power over God that we don’t have. It also springs from an arrogance that we know better than an all-knowing and all-loving God.
A friend once struggled with the peaceful acceptance her neighbor couple had over the husband’s diagnosis of terminal cancer. "How can they just accept this? How can they not be angry and scared?" I could grasp it somewhat because they were very devout. They faced a temporary separation, not a permanent one. Their vocations were gifts from God and their vocations were about to change from spouses to (hopefully) saint and widow. They trusted God would see them through until both were saints and reunited in His Presence.
Here is where the worldly ways and the Christian ways do not meet. A worldly view of life can’t understand the acceptance of suffering and death with a sorrowed, but trusting calm. Some Protestant faiths struggle to accept suffering, not having the Catholic understanding of redemptive suffering. As the children in Fatima learned and lived, our suffering can save souls of strangers, friends, and family from eternal, tortuous separation from God, love, and hope.
During my children’s various crises over the years, I have recalled their example often and at times had no choice but to yield in prayer, “Please God, heal my child, keep him safe if that be not opposed to Your Will, but if nothing else, please see us all together in heaven with You one day.” A part of me is shrinks away and is appalled to think of them leaving earth before me, but it is a real possibility. God promised the cross, not personal pleasure. Accepting that reality – even imperfectly - brings with it an acceptance of His control and an acceptance that I can pray, hope, and not worry. I hope that before I leave this earth I can do all three as I should. Until then, I’ll pray for help to do it reminding myself what I ought to do and try to quell that stomach knot and nausea when our physical world turns upside down.
Hug those precious responsibilities tight, revel daily in the joy of having them near, and may God bless you and your family abundantly.
-- Linda Bader, St. Thomas More