|
Melissa M. Shepherd, Marriage Family Therapist Newsletter
Pause Before Impact
|
|
| Quick Links | |
15233 Ventura Blvd., Suite 1204
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403
(818) 731-1341 |
| Join Our List |
 |
|
|
| In the midst of crisis we have tunnel vision, our language is in all-or-nothing terms, and actions may be just as extreme. No matter the level of distress, to pause will assist us in catching a panoramic view of alternatives, which are always present, but not visible in the throes of stress. To pause allows us a view beyond what we can glimpse through a keyhole. It allows us to see beyond a door. Let us pause. |
| Pause Before Impact | | 
We all experience moments of confusion, disappointment, pain, sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, and the rest of the gamut of emotions we tend to associate with problems or conflicts. It's important to allow ourselves to feel all of our emotions without judging them. Simply by noticing them, we can let them go little by little and replace them with calmness. To blow off steam is part of the process, as long as we do it responsibly by refraining from self-harm or harm to others. This is how we can, in time, think clearly and make decisions that honor our lives and that of others.
To be riled up can truly blur our vision and compel us to think, say, and act in ways that we might not, given sufficient calmness to "see the light". Clarity comes when we allow intuition---that place in us that is untouchable, all-wise, uncluttered by the chatter of agitating feelings---to guide our steps. Intuition, spirit, visceral intelligence, or however you choose to call it has our back, front, top, bottom and sides!!! Trust it. Know that it cannot be moved by the temporariness of our human feelings.
We may experience turmoil as a result of a life-long or even generations-long legacy of pain. Beneath anger there's, generally, profound pain. When we give ourselves the opportunity to release the anger contact is made with the pain, which needs our undivided attention. To acknowledge and move through the pain is a key part of the process of healing and energizing ourselves to grow and move forward.
Stillness, a moment of pause can create a huge shift in the quality of our lives, if we let it.
There may be events taking place in our family life, community, and globally that make us ask or scream out, "when will the hurt end?" Here, again, the power of the pause helps us to see that our value is larger than the problems weighing us down, despite what outer circumstances may suggest.
The power of the pause engages us in reflecting on the potential impact of our words and actions---not only on ourselves but on others. Even our breathing reminds us of how essential pausing is to life, as there's a pause between inhaling and exhaling.
Pause before impact. This is about being conscientious about how our choices impact us and others.
Pause before impact. Replace fighting with taking a firm stand for your life and the communities you belong to.
Pause before impact. Recall the ancestors who let a vision greater than their challenges keep them focused.
Pause before impact. Honor your dignity and that of others by speaking and acting from a place of centeredness.
Pause before impact. Distinguish between rumination and reflection. Pause before impact. Surround yourself by uplifting and reflective people.
It all boils down to the difference between investing time/energy and wasting it. In that pause there are infinite possibilities...Be mindful.
|
| Reflections... | | "There comes a pause, for human strength will not endure to dance without cessation."
Lewis Caroll
"This benefit of seeing... can come only if you pause a while, extricate yourself from the maddening mob of quick impressions ceaselessly battering our lives, and look thoughtfully at a quiet image... the viewer must be willing to pause, to look again, to meditate."
Dorothea Lange |
|
|
Here's to a life filled with love, peace and purpose!
Sincerely,
Melissa Shepherd
|
|
|
|
|
