Three Tips for
Accepting Accountability
From time to time we share articles about how to handle it when the person in front of us has behaved badly, or how to handle it when we behave badly and need to make it right. Since we find that most of our readers are humans, that means we make mistakes from time to time. We offer these proven techniques for maintaining positive influence even when you mess up.
The acronym reminds us that the very act of raising our arm is a physical manifestation of accepting accountability for something and taking ownership of it. We think that’s a great mindset for starting.
- A - Apologize. Sometimes, the other party just needs to know that we’re sorry. I’m sorry means “I feel so bad that this happened that I’m gonna do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Let’s be clear here, I’m sorry doesn’t mean “I am an idiot. I’m a screwup. I’m a failure. I’m a miserable human being. It’s OK to beat me up or treat me badly.” Nope, it means none of those. I’m sorry means “I’m strong enough and brave enough and smart enough to accept accountability for making this right.”
- R - Restore. What can you do to make it right? In many cases, we can’t go back and undo what’s been done, un-say what’s been said, or fix something in the past. But we can make restoration for the future. If we arrive somewhere late, we can offer to stay late to make it up. If we broke something, we can offer to pay for it or repair it. If our actions have created a gap or a void, we can find ways to fill it. The goal here is to put things as close to back to normal as they should be. Make any reasonable or situationally-appropriate restoration that you can. This will allow us to hit the reset button and put the mistake behind us.
- M - Move on. This is where we look forward and apply what we learn from our misses. Where we put in to motion a new processes or new procedure to ensure it doesn’t happen again, and we become even better. We offer a future-focused check-in to demonstrate that we’ve made forward strides. This is where we stop dwelling in whatever went wrong, and focus, with that clean new slate, on a future together.
This “handy” acronym is not meant to make light of how difficult it can really be to accept accountability for tough situations. It is hard. We know that. We’ve been there too. But we also know that practice makes perfect. The more you raise your ARM, the easier it becomes.
Give it a try, and let us know how it goes! We are here to help!
For more on raising your ARM, check out Sinikka's latest blog
here.
