April, 2017
Issue No. 6
Burlington Township Schools
Community Resource

Raising Children During Challenging Times
In This Issue
If you need help or if you know someone who needs help, use these resources.

Mental Health Resources
A special resource page is available for our families.  Click the link below to view the page.



April 29, 2017

Dear Burlington Township Families;

There is growing concern among educational institutions and mental health organizations regarding the popular Netflix mini-series 13 Reasons Why. This is not just a Burlington Township issue.  Schools and families across the country are facing the concerns that this graphic series represents to our vulnerable youth.   There are many in the mental health field that have serious reservations about how this series is produced and the inaccuracies of the material presented from a mental health perspective.

Many of our children use Netflix for entertainment purposes.  In the last few weeks, the popularity of its series 13 Reasons Why has increased substantially.  This series is based on a novel by the same name and contains many topics currently on the minds of our young people. These topics include drug and alcohol abuse, bullying, sexual abuse, rape and body shaming. In the series, the main character uses these as her reasons to commit suicide.  The suicide scene itself is very graphic in nature.

In a community like Burlington Township, where we have faced these challenges, the potential glamorization and misinformation surrounding these topics are especially unsettling.  There is no doubt that these topics are contemporary and on the minds of our young people.  There is also little doubt that families and schools need to find ways to have appropriate conversations about these topics that allow children the ability to properly process in a safe setting.  While the producers of the series believe this opens valuable discussion points, it is our belief that without proper adult guidance on these matters, the conversations may not be conducted in a healthy or appropriate manner.

Burlington Township Schools does not believe in hiding from the truth that mental health concerns need to be addressed.  We recognize that our children are the unwilling victims of many negative influences, most of which are shielded from their parents' view.  Social media, personal smartphones and the widespread use of the internet have lead to vast amounts of information at our children's fingertips.  Sadly, much of this information is not filtered for content and should not be trusted to provide the appropriate guidance for our vulnerable youth.  

We learned during the various sessions held for parents, that parents and trusted adults discussing suicide does NOT lead to suicide.  In fact, often the opposite is true.  It gives young people a chance to discuss a concerning topic with someone who can help them process their current feelings and issues.   Often, our children shut down and stop sharing with their parents and trusted adults.  This can be for many reasons, including not knowing how to approach the subject or verbalize their thoughts to the concern that they may be punished or reprimanded for expressing their thoughts.  The most important thing for a trusted adult to do is listen and not promise confidentiality if there are indications of potential harm to self or others.  And of course, seeking appropriate help if needed.

The district's counselors and student assistance coordinators are available to our students during the school day.  The supports provided by the school district cannot replace the proper in depth mental health assistance that may be needed in some cases.  The district has compiled a list of some local resources to assist parents.  It is very important that if you believe your child may be in immediate danger, that you do not delay in seeking help by calling 911 or taking your child to the local hospital.  We ask that families inform their child's counselor or administrator if the student has faced an instance of self-harm or other mental health concerns so appropriate supports can be explored in the school setting.

HOPE! It is a simple concept, yet so powerful.  Society bombards our kids with reasons why there is no hope.  It is our duty as adults to help children understand that while they may be facing issues, they have more power over the situation and they have power over themselves. When all else is said and done, the only person we can really control is ourself.  We control how we handle all situations.  No one forces us to handle information, feelings or doubts; it is all within our control.  This is a simple concept, but very powerful.  Most hurt feelings come from feeling that you have no control.  Certainly, there are times when we have no control.  We cannot control the weather.  We cannot control other drivers on the road.  What we can control is how we respond!   Anxiety and depression are common amongst many of our youth today, but with proper treatment and intervention, people can receive assistance which can address these needs in an effective manner.

We encourage our parents to respond to this newest challenge to our children by arming yourselves with knowledge.  Understand whether your child is watching or hearing about this series.  Understand the graphic nature of the series and the serious topics being depicted. Determine, as a parent, how to approach the subject with your child in a way that allows for the proper processing of the information.   Below is a short list of resources you may utilize to better understand the other perspectives related to the topic matter discussed.  Families may also seek guidance from your clergy and/or outside counselors or other supports that may already be in place.

We wish you and your children the best.

Sincerely,


Mary Ann Bell  
Superintendent of Schools


Elizabeth A. Scott
Director of Community Relations 


Resources for Parents:

Suicide is never a solution. It is an irreversible choice regarding a temporary problem.  There is help. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or know someone who is, talk to a trusted adult, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text "START" to 741741.
National Association of School Psychologists
What is "13 Reasons Why?"
"13 Reasons Why" is a fictional series, based on a book,  about a high school girl, who takes her own life and sends out 13 tapes to those people whom she blames for her death. The series is based on a book. Although the series is fictional, episodes are graphic and raise concerns for those children who may have had some experience with mental health issues.
13 Reasons Why Parent Resource Center

Our goal as a district is to ensure we educate our parents and provide them with as many resources as possible to give empowerment and knowledge.  Please keep these resources readily available.  The message for our parents and students is:  
The school has resources to assist you.  
Speak with someone you can trust.  
Suicide is NEVER an option and there is no glamorous part of suicide. 

Good Morning America - Explains the importance of watching your child watch this series IF you feel it's appropriate for your child to watch.  


Talking Points for New Netflix Series, 13 Reasons Why
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) has released a set of talking points to address suicide-related content in the new Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, which is based on a fictional novel by the same name. SAVE developed the talking points in partnership with the Jed Foundation to help parents, teachers, and other gatekeepers talk with youth about suicide as it relates to the situational drama that unfolds in the series.



Falcons 360
A Parent Resource You Can Use

















































Falcons360 Parent Presentation:  This is the presentation that was given on Monday, March 13, 2017.

Why Falcons360?:  This handout was distributed on Monday, March 13, 2017.

FaceBook Go Live! Falcons360 Presentation:  If you missed the landing of Falcons360 on Monday, March 13th, don't worry. Click the link above to see the full presentation.  This link will also be placed on our  Falcon WebTV for  parents to view.

Traumatic Loss Coalition

TLC is one of our partners and they asked that we share the following resources with our entire community.   Suicide is the 13th leading cause of death overall in New Jersey.  It is the 3rd leading cause of death for people ages 15-34 in our state.  On average, one person dies by suicide every 12 hours in New Jersey.  An estimated 4.8 million Americans are survivors of suicide by a friend, family member, or loved one.

Please join the Traumatic Loss Coalition in supporting suicide prevention.  Together the number of lives who have been tragically touched by suicide can be reduced.
Below please find resources that may be helpful to you or someone you know.  We encourage you to share these with friends and colleagues.


Falcon Parent University

Over the last two years, our district has provided various Falcon Parent University sessions to assist our families with appropriate information and resources.  Our goal is to educate parents and provide valuable resources that will help parents with various issues.  We believe the first step in addressing these complex issues is being aware of their existence and understanding and accepting that our children are also aware of these topics.  Below are a list of programs we have offered previously.  In the coming weeks, we will be reaching out to you to provide suggestions for session topics for the 17-18 school year.  

October 2015 - Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide , where we learned to ask children who they believe is their trusted adult and if the child is likely to talk to that adult about troubling topics.

March 2016 - What Your Children Don't Want You To Know , where we learned from the kids themselves about some new social media applications being used and the dangers they pose.

August 2016 - Current Trends Among Teens and Stress Management for Teens , where we learned that our students are feeling the pressures of modern day life and would welcome the chance to learn about how to cope with the stress it causes.

November 2016 - What You Need To Know About Cyberbullying and Current Trends , where we learned about date-rape fashion, drug trends and the readily available street drugs.

March 2017 - High-Ding in Plain Sight , where we learned that staying ahead of those who would exploit our youth takes perseverance.

March 2017 - The Launch of Falcons360 , a suite of applications offered to our parents that contain research based articles and information on many of these topics.  Far better than a simple Google search, which may result in harmful information being available.
Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying
What You Need to Know
Parents are shocked when they get a call from one of the District's Anti-bullying Specialists and/or Affirmative Action Officers that their child has been accused of an act that violates our HIB and/or Affirmative Action policies.  It is very important to talk with your child about what is appropriate, inappropriate, and illegal. Sometimes what a student may think is an innocent act, could not only warrant an HIB and/or AAO investigation, but also a police investigation.  Please take a moment to read the Board policies and talk with your child.  HIB/AAO investigations have been conducted at the elementary, middle and high school levels.  This is not just a middle and high school issue.

Here are a few actions that could lead to an HIB investigation and/or Affirmative Action Investigation.  
1.  Taking videos and/or creating videos about a student can lead to a harassment violation and or
     criminal charge.  Videos sexual in nature, talk about another's gender, based upon race, creed,
     color, national origin, ancestry, age, marital status, affectional or sexual orientation, gender,
     religion, disability, or socioeconomic status could be a violation of policy and may be turned            over to  the the police.
2.  Inappropriate touching. Unwelcome and inappropriate touching will prompt an investigation.
3.  Social Media Postings and Text Messages:  This is where the majority of our cases stem from.      Students have to be responsible with social media.  Negative or derogatory postings, cause    
     conflicts which many times spill into the schools. Parents should talk with their students about
     this  topic and should monitor their child's social media and text messages.
4.  Sexting:  Sexting can lead to an investigation, especially in situations where a photo has been
     forwarded to others.  Sexting may be considered child pornography.  Talk to your children about
     sexting and explain the dangers and long term implications.  Remind them that once something
     is out there, it never goes away and could go viral in certain hands.

It is important to know that the HIB Specialists and the Affirmative Action Officers work together on all cases that deal with protected classes and sexual harassment.  


Board Policies:


Listed below, according to trends in our District, are the top issues that our specialists encounter:
1. Social media. Kids say things online they would NEVER say to another persons face.
2. Name calling which they think is funny but offends the victim.
3. Trying to be funny, popular, fit it, etc. and it gets out of control and offends the victim.
4.  Many students are becoming more aware of the media and how certain groups of people are being portrayed through the media, which can cause some issues when they are voicing their opinions in the large group. Some things get misunderstood and yet some things are also culturally insensitive because this is what they may hear at home or what they see on TV.


Please remember that your child will be held accountable for their actions.  Talk to your children about these important issues.  As the weather warms up, we tend to see more cases and conflicts which could be avoided.  Have the hard conversations, warn your children, and advise them in order to help them make the right choices.  Remember everything is not bullying, be sure to take the time to read the information on our anti-bullying website that gives details about bullying.  Take a moment to read the HIB Defined from HIBster.  Conflict may be confused with bullying.  It is a part of everyday life.  It goes without saying that some conflict is normal in our children's lives in the same way, that it is normal in our lives.  As adults, we maneuver ourselves away from some conflict when we can and sometimes we know that it is unavoidable and it just happens.


Sexting

It is very important that parents have open and honest conversations with their children about the dangers of sexting.  Sexting is when people send sexually explicit photos  using their cell phones.  With the new era of Snapchat, teens 
and tweens may be comfortable sexting because they believe that the photo or photos will go away and is not permanent.  This may not necessarily be true.  There are many apps available now that allow recipients of messages to capture and save posts and photos.  Sometimes students think that it is ok to send these types of messages to boyfriends or girlfriends, because they are in love and they believe that the photos will never get out.  Break ups happen every day and people may become emotional and angry.  In certain situations, one person in the relationship may use the photos to retaliate. 

The other aspect of sexting are the legal ramifications behind this act.  Sexting could lead to formal charges of pornography.  If you are in possession of a sexually explicit photo of someone, you could be charged with possession of child pornography.  

Don't have the attitude that your child would never do something like this.  Instead be proactive, be engaged, and be aware.  Talk to your child today about the dangers of sexting.  Below are a few articles to give you deeper insight into the world of sexting.