James Tobin, Ph.D.             

Parent Guidance 
Organizational Consulting

The Men's Group  

The False Self

In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, February 21, 2015 (10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon), I will present a view of masculine development that focuses on the tendency of boys and men to adapt and accommodate to social and cultural demands.  In the most extreme cases, patterns of accommodation create a life of falsehood in which the man's capacity to flourish authentically has been inhibited. Psychological research indicates that, as early as infancy, many boys conceal aspects of their emotional experience from others and gradually become alienated from themselves.  The ongoing tension between dream/desire and the pragmatic demands of current reality preoccupies many men with whom I work and, for some, erodes their capacity to find fulfillment in the choices and responsibilities which have shaped their lives.  The midlife crisis can be viewed from the perspective of emotional anguish linked to no longer being able to tolerate aspects of one's identity that were shut down, often profoundly so, early in life in the parent-child relationship.  On Saturday, I will elaborate on these ideas and discuss the psychological concept "assimilation" which opposes accommodation and serves as an alternative to these patterns of unconscious betrayal. 


The Dating and Relationship Group

Recognizing Personality Disturbance and Deprivation: An Introduction 

The suffering and emotional turmoil of most romantic relationships can be traced to personality disturbances in one or both partners that are often unrecognized and misunderstood.  It is indeed the case that we all have our limitations and personal blind spots, yet for some our personalities are organized in such a way that, under certain conditions and circumstances, our perceptions, emotions, and behaviors may become influenced to such a degree that the capacity to love and be loved is dramatically impaired.  When individuals begin new dating relationships, after the "honeymoon" phase, and during other key transitions in long-term relationships, these negative features of the other's personality inevitably emerge and often do so with intense emotionality and conflict.  In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, February 21, 2015 (12:00 to 1:15 PM), I will provide attendees with a pragmatic overview of how personality is organized and what to look out for that may help detect more significant personality disturbance in attendees' partners.  I will teach a model of personality that focuses on early developmental events, specifically forms of emotional and psychological deprivation, that often do not resolve and, consequently, structure the personality with a variety of problematic features and tendencies.  


The next meetings of the Men's Group and the Dating and Relationship Group will be on Saturday, February 21, 2015, at The Water Garden Business Center, 23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130, Laguna Hills, CA, 92653.  The fee is $25.00.  If you plan to attend, please RSVP ASAP to Dr. Tobin at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com as space is limited in each group to the first 14 persons who register to attend.   The Men's Group will be at 10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon, and the Dating and Relationship Group at 12:00 noon to 1:15 PM. 

James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 | jt@jamestobinphd.com 
Website: jamestobinphd.com
Previous Newsletters: Archive
Recent Talks & Conference Appearances: Presentations