Sunday. At the end of the sermon. When I asked the Lord:
Am I running my own race?
No? I thought. How can that be?
I know my calling. I've heard You're voice. I know who You've said that I am.
A world-changer and a priest and minister in Your house.
I know my giftings. And I know the road I'm on. So where am I not running my own race?
And this is what the Lord said:
You're still looking for someone else to step up. Someone else to tell you what to do. Someone else to approve. Approve of the things
I've told you. Approve of the things
I've spoken. Approve of the things
And I realized.
I realized. Lord...You're right! Yes, I'm on the path. And, yes, I'm running the race. But I'm still looking around. Still doubting. Not totally sure. Still looking for someone to tell me. Still looking for someone to validate.
And the picture God gave me was of a race marked out. And I'm on it. I'm running...but not running. More like jogging. Almost in place. Looking here. Looking there.
And I laughed.
I laughed...because God is good! So good!
Because He knew. He knew! He'd seen it. For awhile. For always.
I needed to see it! I needed to see it, in order to change!
Because we won't change what we don't recognize. We can't.
And so sometimes God says an emphatic no...an emphatic no...to get our attention.
To get our attention off of what we
think needs to change and on to what
actually needs to change. (It wasn't that I was on the wrong course or running the wrong race. But my eyes were on the wrong person!)
So today, I'm thankful.
Thank You, Lord! Thank You, Lord, for the no. The no that jolted me. Not off-course. But back on course. Onto the course I was already on.
I just needed some adjustment.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run [their very best to win], but only one receives the prize?
Run [your race] in such a way that you may seize the prize and make it yours!
Now every athlete who [goes into training and] competes in the games is disciplined and exercises self-control in all things.
They do it to win a crown that withers, but we [do it to receive] an imperishable [crown that cannot wither].
Therefore I do not run without a definite goal; I do not flail around like one beating the air [just shadow boxing].
But [like a boxer] I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached [the gospel] to others, I myself will not somehow be disqualified [as unfit for service].
Corinthians 9:24-27 AMP
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who by faith have testified to the truth of God's absolute faithfulness], stripping off every unnecessary weight and the sin which so easily and cleverly entangles us, let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity], who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work].
Hebrews 12:1-2 AMP