Ken Blanchard, asked to name the biggest lesson learned during his long career as a leadership development consultant/writer/executive coach, described how the ego gets in our way. "People get too focused on self and self-worth," he said during a recent webinar.
Blanchard described how we sometimes have False Pride - we think we are brighter or smarter than others. He calls this the "Promoting Self".
Or, we may have Self-Doubt and Fear - we have a "less than" attitude. This is the "Protecting Self".
In both instances, we are comparing ourselves with others and distorting what is true. One way to learn about how we get in our own way is to ask ourselves some questions.
When in the past 24 hours did ego get in my way? What happened? What did it feel like? What do I know for sure? By bringing awareness to when we are thinking or behaving with False Pride or Self-Doubt and asking reflective questions, we will learn new ways of living with humility.
"People with humility don't think less of themselves; they think about themselves less," says Blanchard.
Self Doubt vs Great Doubt
By Zen Master Bon Soeng
Self Doubt is quite different than Great Doubt. Self Doubt is more like, "I am no good, what am I doing? "I should be able to do this better." It's centered on "I". This "I" is a construct. The fundamental concept of suffering is that attachment to "I". With this self image, this concept and idea of what I think I should be, we get disappointed and lose our way.
Great Doubt is "What is it?" So when we feel disappointment, we can hold it with a question, "What is it?" Then we look and pay attention to our experience. Pay attention to what is happening in the moment. Then we can see clearly, hear clearly, taste clearly, and think clearly. We are not lost in that commentary.