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Still Waters Newsletter
June 2011
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Scenic Pause
 | | Breathe deep, exhale slowly |
Like the surface of the ocean, the circumstances of our lives can seem like endless breaking waves. We can feel like we are constantly resisting, without a moment to catch our breath. Take a few moments for yourself to watch this video. As you do, imagine the waves as the circumstances of your life. Allow yourself to observe from a distance, taking in their power without having to resist or control them. Feel the calm depths of the ocean and observe how little influence the waves have as you float down gently into the calm blue depths.
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 | | by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW |
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Where I share practical ideas for developing threads of inner peace through our day
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 | | by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW |
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death doesn't end the relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship - one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love...
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Greetings!
Like choppy waves, the circumstances of our everyday lives can feel relentless,
 | | Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW |
unpredictable, tiring and out of our control. Yet, just below that turbulent surface lies a stillness and peace just waiting for us.
Whether you are coping with grief or looking for some freedom from stress, my goal with Still Waters is to provide monthly contemplations and tools for living more peaceful lives.
Let yourself into the deep waters of inner peace and feel the difference. Sending love and light,
Ashley |
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Stress Free Living
"Living Deeply"
My first born child, my oldest daughter, is graduating from high school this month. Thirty years ago, I also crossed a stage, mortarboard on my head, and reached for my high school diploma. I bear witness to the cycle of life.
Although I happily leave much of high school behind me, one aspect  that I particularly enjoyed was hanging out with my friends and having what we called 'deep' conversations. The discussions felt deep when we talked about what is 'underneath' the surface of day to day living.
I liked 'going deep' so much that I became a psychotherapist, grief counselor, and writer -- all avenues of helping people live and love more deeply. I companion people as they go below the surface of their lives, pointing to the buoyancy, balance and calm that already exist within them.
When we allow ourselves to live deeply, we savor our inner connection to love and joy and begin to cherish each step along our unique paths. Even as we take our final steps, even as we 'graduate' to whatever comes next, we can savor the calm and vibrancy of life that comes with living deeply.
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Coping with Loss
"Grieving Deeply"
When I began my training as a psychotherapist over twenty years ago, I was assigned to work with a middle-aged woman whose sister had recently been murdered. There I was, a young professional with very little life experience who had, until a few months previously, been pushing paper in a PR firm. And yet I was asked to console this woman paralyzed by grief.
To my surprise, I did just that. I was able to listen compassionately and nonjudgmentally. Inexplicably really, I could hear and understand her pain. And I knew without a doubt that I had a calling to work with grievers, to help people in emotional pain.
Although there is a strong American bias that advises people to 'move on' and keep a 'stiff upper lip', I have always encouraged people to grieve deeply. Grieving takes an enormous amount of courage, to be sure. We don't like to feel our pain directly . . . and yet it is precisely in our pain where healing occurs.
Grieving deeply and thoroughly creates movement; you could call it pain with a purpose. While learning to live with loss is a lifelong process, it's the deep grieving that directly mirrors deep loving. And of course that is the kind of depth that makes life worth living.
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This Month's Shortcut
"Under the Sea"
For use when you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed
In this month's Shortcut, we will use our thoughts to stimulate our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS is that wing of the  nervous system that calms our stress response, slows our heart rate, and reduces our focus on our external circumstances.
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The next time you are feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated, sit down, close your eyes, take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Now let your shoulders relax and let yourself flop over like a ragdoll, completely relaxed. If you find this uncomfortable, you can just let your chin drop to your chest. Imagine yourself in the depths of the sea, warm and quiet in your own bubble. Notice the water far above you, choppy and tempestuous while you rest untroubled in the still depths.
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When we bring to mind a peaceful experience and really let it sink in, it counteracts stress and anxiety. We carry the capacity for calm within us all the time - the trick is to pause, gain perspective and connect with our inner source of peace.
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