Over the last six months I have been reminded of the limitless potential of creative energy to heal, enliven, ignite, and transform. The creative force is the Being force and when we tap into it, we open to powerful life-giving energies.

Caregiving for my mom surfaced in my life again with an intense precipitating event in June. She fell for the second time in six months, couldn't get up from the floor, and was in terrible pain. I called an ambulance and we went to the ER. Sitting beside her in the treatment room as she was shivering, moaning and crying out, "I want to go home," I felt scared and helpless. I knew that this wasn't going to be an isolated event because of other symptoms she was experiencing, and I also knew that I would need to be emotionally, spiritually, and physically fit to hold all of this. I quickly decided to put self-care at the top of my to-do list. In the past, self-care wouldn't have even occurred to me. Serving my family or friends if they were in need always came first. I wasn't even in the equation. Over the years, though, I have come, to know and trust that self-care is not a luxury when it comes to caregiving. It is a necessity.

When my mother was taken upstairs for a CT scan, I pulled out the small notebook I always carry with me, and let feelings spill onto the page. My intention to connect to my body and emotions, and to write without censoring, helped me access more of what I couldn't let myself fully feel in her presence. I was calmer and more spacious after this deep writing. Then I reflected on self-care, wanting to avoid 'shoulds' and just free write about choices and practices that I sensed would be nourishing and life-affirming for me. I came up with writing and reading poetry, dance, gardening, drawing, collage, intuitive writing, and inventing games with my grandchildren, knowing this list would likely shift and change over time.

The following weeks were very difficult; there were many unexpected challenges, and it became clear that prioritizing self-care was imperative. I noticed that when I had open blocks of time, anywhere from ten to ninety minutes, it was writing and art work that I turned to most often. I was committed to letting my inner wisdom, not my thinking mind, guide my choices. I did a lot of inward asking, "What is right action now? What will feed my soul? What will be relaxing or, perhaps, revitalizing right now?" I kept letting go of agendas, even seemingly reasonable ideas like, "It makes sense to go to the park with my notebook because it's a beautiful day and it would be 'good' to go out." No. Nothing had to make sense. There just needed to be a spark, a click that said, "Yes - this." I didn't need to know why.

I was often directed to a notebook or sketchpad. I never knew, though, if I'd write, doodle, or draw pictures of whatever I saw in front of me: the trees outside the window, cloud formations, doors, windows, coffee mugs, vases of flowers. My intention was to be open to wherever the threads of wisdom would take me.

My mother was hospitalized twice over a three month period and when she was home, the caregiving tasks and responsibilities were great. I also felt stretched emotionally because she was suffering a lot both mentally and physically. Even though it seemed to be counterintuitive to take many self-care breaks, that's what I did. It was clear that these activities were helping me to be present, clear, and resilient. And because I was being true to the prompts from my soul, I felt empowered and 'on my beam.' I was resourced a lot of the time, and much more effective in meeting and managing all that was on my plate. My deep respect for the healing benefits of creativity was renewed.

I am fully back in my life again with a variety of projects on my plate, and a commitment to carve out as many blocks as possible every day for creativity and self-care, regardless of whether or not my mind tells me there is no time for that. I am noticing that the more steadfast I am with my intention and follow through, the more time seems to just 'magically' keep opening up. I am accomplishing more than ever and am in a 'flow state' quite often since I've made this commitment.

If you decide to devote more time to cultivating your relationship to the Muse, remember that creative expression is not reserved for artistic and literary pursuits. That's too small of a box for creativity. The creative force can be expressed in any form at all: cooking, gardening, developing a new business, designing a website, or decorating your bedroom (or yourself.) Just look for the "Yeses" - whatever will help you feel most alive - and happy.